What is meant by seeking assistance from the people of graves. NOT WHAT IGNORANTS THINK I.e. YA MUSHKIL KUSHA MADAD.
Mulla Ali al Qari said:
فَإِنَّ ذِكْرَ الْمَوْتِ هَادِمُ اللَّذَّاتِ، وَمُهَوِّنُ الْكُدُورَاتِ، وَلِذَا قِيلَ: إِذَا تَحَيَّرْتُمْ فِي الْأُمُورِ فَاسْتَعِينُوا بِأَهْلِ الْقُبُورِ، هَذَا أَحَدُ مَعْنَيَيْهِ (وَتُذَكِّرُ الْآخِرَةَ) وَتُعِينُ عَلَى الِاسْتِعْدَادِ لَهَا
“Indeed, the remembrance of death diminishes worldly pleasures and alleviates hardships. Therefore, (Qeela) it is said: ‘When you are perplexed in matters, seek assistance from the people of the graves.’ This is one of its meanings. Meaning it serves as a reminder of the hereafter and aids in preparing for it.” (Mirqaat al Mafateeh 1769)
This is a hadith attributed to Prophet peace be upon him, This ḥadīth is fabricated, as explicitly stated by the scholars, among them:
1. Mulla Ali al Qari mentioned it with mode of doubt (Qeela) which is mostly used for fabrications.
2. Al-Ālūsī رحمه الله in Rūḥ al-Maʿānī (6/127–128) said:
وهو حديث مفترى على رسول الله -صلى الله عليه وسلم- بإجماع العارفين بحديثه، لم يروه أحد من العلماء ولايوجد فى شئ كتب الحديث المعتمدة
“This is a fabricated ḥadīth falsely attributed to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ by the consensus of those knowledgeable in his ḥadīth. None of the scholars have narrated it, nor is it found in any of the reliable books of ḥadīth.”
3. Shaykh al-Islām Ibn Taymiyyah رحمه الله in Majmūʿ al-Fatāwā (1/356) said:
قال: هذا الحديث كذب مفترى على النبي -صلى الله عليه وسلم- بإجماع العارفين بحديثه، وهذا مما يُعلم بالاضطرار من دين الإسلام، وأنه غير مشروع، ولم يروه أحد من العلماء بذلك، ولا يُوجد في شيء من كتب الحديث المعتمدة.
“This ḥadīth is a lie, falsely attributed to the Prophet ﷺ, by the consensus of those knowledgeable in his ḥadīth. It is something known necessarily in Islam that it is not legislated. None of the scholars narrated it, nor is it found in any of the reliable books of ḥadīth.”
(2) Ibn al-Qayyim al-Jawziyyah رحمه الله in Ighāthat al-Lahfān (1/242–243), while listing things that led grave-worshippers into trial, said:
وهو يعدد الأشياء التي أوقعت القبورية في الافتتان بها: ومنها أحاديث مكذوبة مختلقة وضعها أشباه عباد الأصنام، من المقابرية على رسول الله -صلى الله عليه وسلم- تناقض دينه وما جاء به كحديث: (إذا أعيتكم الأمور فعليكم بأصحاب القبور) … وأمثال هذه الأحاديث التي هي مناقضة لدين الإسلام، وضعها المشركون وراجت على أشباههم من الجهال والضلال.
“Among them are fabricated and forged aḥādīth which idol-worshipper-like grave-dwellers concocted against the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, contradicting his religion and what he came with such as the ḥadīth: ‘If matters overwhelm you, then turn to the people of the graves.’ And similar reports which contradict the religion of Islam, fabricated by the polytheists and spread among their ignorant and misguided likes.”
Meaning of hadith as per Mulla Ali al qari.
When you visit the graves, it brings about self-restraint in this life and serves as a reminder of the afterlife, the dead themselves do not help, but rather, when witnessing their helpless state, it serves as a reminder to turn to Allah. It reminds us that these individuals are unable to help themselves, thus prompting us to seek forgiveness and mercy.
Mulla Ali al qari himself taught tawheed.
ولا يسأل غيره ; لأن غيره غير قادر على العطاء والمنع ودفع الضر وجلب النفع ، فإنهم لا يملكون لأنفسهم نفعا ولا ضرا ، ولا يملكون موتا ولا حياة ولا نشورا ، ولا يترك السؤال بلسان الحال أو ببيان المقال في جميع الأحوال ، ففي الحديث : من لم يسأل الله يغضب عليه
إذ السؤال إظهار شعائر الانكسار ، والإقرار بسمت العجز والافتقار والإفلاس عن ذروة القوة والطاقة إلى حضيض الاستكانة والفاقة ، ونعم ما قيل :
الله يغضب إن تركت سؤاله وبني آدم حين يسأل يغضب
( ” وإذا استعنت ” ) أي : أردت الاستعانة في الطاعة وغيرها من أمور الدنيا والآخرة ( ” فاستعن بالله ” ) : فإنه المستعان وعليه التكلان في كل زمان ومكان . ” ”
Do not ask anyone (other than Allah) because others are not able (Qadir) to give, prevent and remove harm, attract benefit, for indeed the others do not possess the ability to benifit or harm, give death or life and nor resurrection. AND DO NOT LEAVE ASKING (ALLAH) IN ALL OF THE CASES.. as the Hadith states whoever do not ask Allah angers him ”
Allah gets angry if one do not ask Allah and if bani adam are asked, they get angry.
…. (Ask Allah) Allah is the only one who should be asked for help and depended upon in all the zamaan and makaan
[Mirqat, 2/159 under the hadeeth 5302]