A Daughter is a Divine Gift Even Better Than A Son.

Allah says:

“He grants to whom He wills daughters, and He grants to whom He wills sons.” (Qur’an 42:49)

A student of Ḥāfiẓ Ibn Ḥajar, al-Biqāʿī (d. 885 AH), said:

وعبر سبحانه فيهن بلفظ الهبة لأن الأوهام العادية قد تكتنف العقل فتحجبه عن تأمل محاسن التدبيرات الإلهية، وترمي به في مهاوي الأسباب الدنيوية، فيقع المسلم مع إسلامه في مضاهاة الكفار في كراهة البنات وفي وادي الوأد بتضييعهن أو التقصير في حقوقهن وتنبيهاً على أن الأنثى نعمة، وأن نعمتها لا تنقص عن نعمة الذكر وربما زادت، وإيقاظاً من سنة الغفلة على أن التقديم وإن كان لما قدمته لا يقدم تأنيساً وتوصية لهن واهتماماً بأمرهن

ونقل ابن مليك عن ابن عطية عن الثعلبي أن واثلة بن الأسقع رضي الله عنه قال: من يمن المرأة تبكيرها بالأنثى قبل الذكر لأن الله تعالى بدأ بالإناث، ولذلك رغب النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم في الإحسان إليهن في أحاديث كثيرة

Allah Almighty used the word “gift” for daughters because habitual assumptions can cloud the mind, preventing reflection on the beauty of divine wisdom and pushing people toward reliance on worldly causes alone. As a result, even a Muslim despite his Islam may resemble the disbelievers in disliking daughters, neglecting them, or failing to fulfil their rights.

By calling daughters a gift, Allah reminds us that a daughter is a blessing. Her blessing is not less than that of a son; it may even be greater. This wording also serves as a wake-up call: mentioning daughters first is not random, but rather an expression of care, emphasis, and concern for them.

Al-Thaʿlabī narrated via Ibn ʿAṭiyyah and Ibn Milīkah that Wāthilah ibn al-Asqaʿ (may Allah be pleased with him) said:

“Part of a woman’s good fortune is that she is given a daughter before a son, because Allah, the Exalted, began with females.” 

For this reason, the Prophet ﷺ encouraged kindness toward daughters in many narrations and promised great reward for it.

(Tafsīr Naẓm al-Durar fī Tanāsub al-Āyāt wa-al-Suwar, 42:49)

2. Imām al-Baghawī (d. 516 AH) said:

يَخْلُقُ مَا يَشَاءُ يَهَبُ لِمَن يَشَاءُ إِنَاثًا، فلا يكون له ولد ذكر. قيل: من يمن المرأة تبكيرها بالأنثى قبل الذكر، لأن الله تعالى بدأ بالإناث.

“He creates whatever He wills. He grants daughters to whom He wills, such that he has no male child. It is said: among the blessings for a woman is that she is given a daughter before a son, because Allah, the Most High, began with females (before males).”

(Tafsīr al-Baghawī, Sūrat al-Shūrā, verse 49)

3. Ibn al-Qayyim commented:

وعندي وجه آخر، وهو أنه سبحانه قدم ما كانت تؤخره الجاهلية من أمر البنات حتى كانوا يئدوهن، أي: هذا النوع المؤخر عندكم مقدم عندي في الذكر.

“In my view, there is another perspective: He—Glorified and Exalted—gave precedence to that which the people of Jāhiliyyah used to relegate regarding daughters, to the point that they would bury them alive. Meaning: ‘That which you consider inferior is given priority by Me, even in mention.’”

([Tuhfat al-Mawdūd bi-Aḥkām al-Mawlūd], p. 20)

4. Al-Qāsimī said:

فلا يجوز الحزن من ولادتهن وكراهتهن، كما يشاهد من بعض الجهلة. وقال الثعلبي: إنه إشارة إلى ما في تقدم ولادتهن من اليمن (ومن يمن المرأة تبكيرها بأنثى).

“It is not permissible to grieve over their birth or to dislike them, as is observed among some ignorant people. Al-Thaʿlabī said: this is an indication of the blessing in the precedence of their birth (and among the blessings for a woman is that she is given a female child first).”

(Tafsīr Maḥāsin al-Taʾwīl, Sūrat al-Shūrā, verse 49)

5. Ibn Juzayy al-Gharnāṭī (d. 741 AH), who was martyred by the Spanish Crusaders, said:

قدم الإناث اعتناءً بهن وتأنيسًا لمن وهبهن له. قال واثلة بن الأسقع: من يمن المرأة تبكيرها بأنثى قبل الذكر، لأن الله بدأ بالإناث.

“He gave precedence to females out of care for them and to bring solace to the one to whom He grants them. Wāthilah ibn al-Asqaʿ said: ‘Among the blessings for a woman is that she is given a female before a male, because Allah began with females.’”

(Tafsīr al-Tashīl li-ʿUlūm al-Tanzīl, Sūrat al-Shūrā, verse 49)

Meaning of the Verse About Mushrikeen Ascribing Daughters to Allah

Allah says:

﴿أَوَمَن یُنَشَّؤُا۟ فِی ٱلۡحِلۡیَةِ وَهُوَ فِی ٱلۡخِصَامِ غَیۡرُ مُبِینࣲ﴾
“Do they assign to Allah one who grows up amidst ornaments (i.e., daughters) and is not well-versed in the art of disputation?”
(Surah Az-Zukhruf, verse 18)

Some people use this verse to argue, in a derogatory manner, that women are inherently poor at debating or reasoning.

Ibn Ashur explains:

“الفكر في معتقداتهم وإلا لكانوا حين جعلوا لله بنوة أن لا يجعلوا له بنوة الإناث وهم يُعدّون الإناث مكروهات مستضعفات”
“The purpose of this [manner of argument] is to expose the false ideology of the mushrikeen, showing that they do not properly use their intellect in their beliefs. Otherwise, when they ascribed children to Allah, they would not have chosen daughters, while they themselves considered daughters to be disliked and weak.”
(Al-Tahrir wa al-Tanwir 43:18 — translated by Abdullah Anik Misra)

In other words, Allah is speaking about them, the mushrikeen: “You consider daughters worthless, yet you ascribe daughters to Allah. Why?”

Ibn al-Qayyim said:

“وعندي وجه آخر : وهو أنه سبحانه قدم ما كانت تؤخره الجاهلية من أمر البنات حتى كانوا يئدوهن أي هذا النوع المؤخر عندكم مقدم عندي في الذكر”
“According to me, there is another reason for this: Allah gives priority to daughters who were forsaken by the people of ignorance. What you considered worthless, Allah prioritizes even in mention.”
(Tuhfatul Mawdood bi Ahkam al-Mawlood, p. 20)

Furthermore, Arab women at the time were generally uneducated. If this verse is taken at face value, it may refer to the innocence of women, meaning they were not trained in the art of disputation like men. For example, it is attributed to Qatadah (Tabi‘i) that even if a woman had evidence in her favor, she might inadvertently use it against herself in an argument because she was not taught debate skills.

However, if this verse applied to all women universally, what about exceptional cases like Asma’ bint ‘Umais, who successfully argued against the great Umar ibn al-Khattab?

Asma’ bint ‘Umais, who had migrated to Abyssinia and later returned with other immigrants, visited Hafsa, the wife of Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him). Umar was sitting with Hafsa at the time. When he saw Asma, he asked, “Who is she?” Hafsa replied, “She is Asma, daughter of Umais.”

Umar said, “She is an Abyssinian and a sea-woman.”
Asma responded, “Yes, that is correct.”

Umar then said, “We preceded you in migration, and so we have more right to Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) than you do.”

Asma felt annoyed and replied:

“Umar, you are not stating the fact. By Allah, you had the privilege of being in the company of the Messenger (peace be upon him), who fed the hungry among you and instructed the ignorant, whereas we were far away in Abyssinia among enemies, and all that was for Allah and His Messenger. By Allah, I would never take food or water without mentioning it to the Messenger (peace be upon him) as you said. We endured constant hardship there for Allah and His Messenger. I shall speak the truth when I report this to Him, without lying or exaggerating.”

When the Prophet (peace be upon him) came, she narrated the incident. The Prophet said:

“His right is not more than yours. For him and his companions, there is one migration, but for you (the people of the boat), there are two migrations.”

Abu Burda reported that Asma said: “I saw Abu Musa and others asking me to repeat this hadith again and again because it was so significant and pleasing to them.”
(Sahih Muslim 2502, 2503)

SubhanAllah! What a beautiful example of Asma’s eloquence, the Prophet’s agreement with her, and the respect shown by giants of knowledge like Abu Musa. No one in the history of Islam ever used this verse to demean women. Rather, it critiques the false reasoning of the mushrikeen and highlights the honor and potential of women, even if their societal education was limited at the time.

The Companions (Ṣaḥābah) and Their Love for Daughters

1. The Best Father and Daughter: Abū Bakr al-Ṣiddīq and ʿĀʾishah al-Ṣiddīqah رضي الله عنهما

Al-Barāʾ رضي الله عنه said:

قَالَ الْبَرَاءُ: فَدَخَلْتُ مَعَ أَبِي بَكْرٍ عَلَى أَهْلِهِ، فَإِذَا عَائِشَةُ ابْنَتُهُ مُضْطَجِعَةٌ، قَدْ أَصَابَتْهَا حُمَّى، فَرَأَيْتُ أَبَاهَا فَقَبَّلَ خَدَّهَا، وَقَالَ: كَيْفَ أَنْتِ يَا بُنَيَّةُ؟

“I entered with Abū Bakr into his home, and there I saw his daughter ʿĀʾishah lying down, afflicted with a fever. I saw her father Abū Bakr kiss her cheek and say, ‘How are you, my little daughter?’”

(Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī, no. 3918)

2. Ibn Masʿūd and His Daughter

Al-Kharāʾiṭī narrated:

عَنْ أَبِي وَائِلٍ قَالَ: أَقْبَلَتِ ابْنَةٌ لِعَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ مَسْعُودٍ وَهِيَ جَارِيَةٌ صَغِيرَةٌ، فَضَمَّهَا إِلَى نَحْرِهِ، ثُمَّ قَبَّلَهَا، ثُمَّ قَالَ: يَا مَرْحَبًا، يَا سِتْرَ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ مِنَ النَّارِ.

The young daughter of ʿAbdullāh ibn Masʿūd came running to him. He embraced her, kissed her, and said:
“Welcome! O shield of ʿAbdullāh from the Fire.”

(Makārim al-Akhlāq, no. 634)

3. Allah Loves the One Who Has Daughters

Ibn ʿUyaynah narrated from ʿUbaydullāh ibn ʿUmar al-Saʿdī—who was from the students of the Companions that it reached him:

أَنَّ اللَّهَ يُحِبُّ الرَّجُلَ الْمُبْنَاتَ، وَكَانَ لُوطٌ عَلَيْهِ السَّلَامُ ذَا بَنَاتٍ، وَكَانَ شُعَيْبٌ عَلَيْهِ السَّلَامُ ذَا بَنَاتٍ، وَكَانَ النَّبِيُّ ﷺ ذَا بَنَاتٍ.

“It has reached us that Allah loves a man who has daughters. Lūṭ عليه السلام had daughters, Shuʿayb عليه السلام had daughters, and the Prophet ﷺ had daughters.”

(al-Nafaqah ʿalā al-ʿIyāl by Ibn Abī al-Dunyā, no. 95; its narrators are trustworthy)

4. Jihād and Ṣadaqah Not Binding Upon One with Three Daughters

Al-Zuhrī—one of the students of the Companions—said:

مَنْ ابْتُلِيَ بِابْنَةٍ فَأَحْسَنَ إِلَيْهَا أَدْخَلَتْهُ الْجَنَّةَ، وَمَنْ ابْتُلِيَ بِاثْنَتَيْنِ فَاحْتَسَبَ فِيهِمَا الْخَيْرَ سَتَرَتَاهُ مِنَ النَّارِ، وَمَنْ ابْتُلِيَ بِثَلَاثٍ فَإِنَّهُمْ كَانُوا لَا يَرَوْنَ عَلَيْهِ جِهَادًا وَلَا صَدَقَةً.

“Whoever is tested with one daughter and treats her well will be admitted to Paradise. Whoever is tested with two daughters and seeks reward for them will be shielded from the Fire. And whoever is tested with three daughters, they (the Companions and Tābiʿīn) did not consider jihād or charity binding upon him.”

(al-Nafaqah ʿalā al-ʿIyāl by Ibn Abī al-Dunyā, no. 93; its chain is authentic)

5. A Statement Attributed to Muʿāwiyah رضي الله عنه

 فقال معاوية: مهلاً يا ابن الزبير فما مرّض المرضى ولا ندب الموتى ولا برّ الأحياء كهنّ. فقال ابن الزبير: قد تركتهن آثر عندي من الأبناء.

Muʿāwiyah said to Ibn al Zubayr:

“none have tended to the sick, mourned the dead, or honoured the living like them.”

Ibn al-Zubayr said:

“I have left them more beloved to me than my sons.”

[Al-Maḥāsin wa al-Masāwī by Ibrāhīm ibn Muḥammad al-Bayhaqī (d 320 AH)]

The Great Daughter-in-Law of Umar ibn al-Khattab

Ibn Asakir narrated:

عن جده أسلم قال بينا أنا مع عمر بن الخطاب رضي الله عنه وهو يعس بالمدينة إذ أعيا فاتكأ على جانب جدار في جوف الليل فإذا امرأة تقول لابنتها قومي إلى ذلك اللبن فامذقيه بالماء فقالت يا أمتاه وما علمت ما كان من عزمة أمير المؤمنين اليوم؟ قالت وما كان من عزمته؟ قالت إنه أمر مناديا فنادى لا يشاب اللبن بالماء فقالت لها يا ابنتاه قومي إلى اللبن فامذقيه بالماء فإنك في موضع لا يراك عمر ولا منادي عمر فقالت الصبية والله ما كنت لأطيعه في الملأ وأعصيه في الخلاء وعمر يسمع كل ذلك فقال يا أسلم علم الباب واعرف الموضع ثم مضى في عسه فلما أصبح قال يا أسلم امض إلى الموضع فانظر من القائلة ومن المقول لها وهل لهم من بعل فأتيت الموضع فإذا أيم لا بعل لها وإذا تيك أمها وإذا ليس لهم رجل فأتيت عمر بن الخطاب فأخبرته فدعا عمر ولده فجمعهم فقال هل فيكم من يحتاج إلى امرأة أزوجه ولو كان بأبيكم حركة إلى النساء ما سبقه منكم أحد إلى هذه الجارية فقال عبد الله لي زوجة وقال عبد الرحمن لي زوجة وقال عاصم يا أبتاه لا زوجة لي فزوجني فبعث إلى الجارية فزوجها من عاصم فولدت لعاصم بنتا وولدت الابنة ابنة وولدت الابنة عمر بن عبد العزيز [قال ابن عساكر] كذا قال والصحيح ما تقدم أن أم عاصم بنت عاصم لا بنت ابنته

Aslam said: Once I was with Umar ibn al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) while he was patrolling the streets of Madinah at night to ensure the welfare of the people. When he grew tired, he leaned against a wall. At that time, they heard a woman telling her daughter to add water to the milk.

The daughter replied, “O my mother, the Ameer al-Mu’minin has announced that no one should add water to the milk.”

The mother said, “Go ahead and add water; Umar and the announcer cannot see you here.”

The daughter responded, “O my mother, I will not obey him in public and disobey him in private.”

Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) heard the entire conversation. Deeply impressed by the girl’s piety and integrity, he instructed Aslam to note the house so they could return later. He asked him to inquire more about the girl and her family.

It was discovered that the girl was unmarried and lived only with her widowed mother. Umar’s sons Abdullah and Abdur-Rahman were already married, but his son Asim was not yet married. Umar arranged for Asim to marry the girl. They were soon wed and had a daughter named Umm Asim, who later became the mother of Umar ibn Abdul ‘Azeez.

References:

• Tarikh Madinat Dimashq, Ibn Asakir, Vol. 70, p. 253

• Islam ki Betian, Muhammad Ishaq Bhatti, biography of Umm Asim bint Asim, pp. 428–429

Daughter of Saʿīd ibn al-Musayyib one of the greatest of the Tābiʿīn.

Her husband said about her:

ثم دخلت بها، فإذا هي من أجمل الناس، وأحفظ الناس لكتاب الله، وأعلمهم بسنة رسول الله ﷺ، وأعرفهم بحق الزوج.

“Then I consummated the marriage with her, and I found her to be among the most beautiful of people, among the most knowledgeable regarding the Book of Allah, the most learned in the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, and the most aware of the rights of a husband.”

(Siyar Aʿlām al-Nubalāʾ, 4/234)

The daughter of Saʿīd was sought in marriage by ʿAbd al-Malik ibn Marwān (the Caliph) for his son al-Walīd, but Saʿīd refused. ʿAbd al-Malik then continued to pressure him, until he had him flogged with one hundred lashes on a cold day, had a jug of water poured over him, and made him wear a woolen cloak.

(Siyar Aʿlām al-Nubalāʾ, 4/234)

Saʿīd refused to marry his daughter to a wealthy man and instead married her to a poor man, giving them twenty thousand dirhams.

(Siyar Aʿlām al-Nubalāʾ, 4/234)

It is also said that Saʿīd ibn al-Musayyib was married to the daughter of Abū Hurayrah رضي الله عنه.

A Daughter Has More Right to Look at Her Future Husband

A daughter has more right to look at her future husband than a man does. Also, it is recommended to marry your sisters and daughters to handsome, pious men.

1. Muṣannaf ‘Abd al-Razzāq, Kitāb an-Nikāḥ 6/158
   It is mentioned that ʿUmar ibn al-Khaṭṭāb (may Allah be pleased with him) said:

“One of you goes and marries his daughter to a repulsive and ugly man, but indeed, women desire what you desire!”
(فيعمد أحدكم إلى ابنته فيزوجها القبيح الذميم إنهن يردن ما تريدون)

2. Kashshāf al-Qinā‘ [5/10] – Hanbalī view

“According to the Hanbalī school, she may look at everything except what lies between his navel and his knees.”
(والمذهب: أنها تنظر إلى ما عدا ما بين سرته وركبته. وإن كان المراد أنه يسن فهو إنما يتمشى على قول الأكثر)

3. Takmilat al-Majmū‘ [16/139]

“It is permissible for a woman, if she wishes to marry a man, to look at him, because she is attracted to him just as he is attracted to her. This is why ʿUmar (may Allah be pleased with him) said: ‘Do not marry your daughters to an unattractive man, for indeed, they (i.e., women) are attracted to men just as men are attracted to them.'”
(يجوز للمرأة إذا أرادت أن تتزوج برجل أن تنظر إليه، لأنه يعجبها منه ما يعجبه منها، ولهذا قال عمر – رضي الله عنه –: ((لا تزوجوا بناتكم من الرجل الذميم، فإنه يعجبهن منهم ما يعجبهم منهن))

4. Nihāyat al-Muḥtāj [6/183]

“She may also request a description of him, just as a man may request a description of her.”
(، وتستوصف كما في الرجل)

5. Ibn ‘Ābidīn, marginal notes in Radd al-Muḥtār [6/37]

“The woman is even more entitled than the man to look at a potential spouse.”
(إن المرأة أولى من الرجل في النظر)

6. Ibn al-Jawzī, Ahkām al-Nisā’, p. 305

“It is recommended for someone who intends to marry off his daughter to choose a young man of good appearance, because a woman desires what a man desires.”
((أنه يستحب لمن أراد تزويج ابنته أن ينظر لها شاباً مستحسن الصورة، لأن المرأة تحب ما يحب الرجل))

Marry the daughters to good-looking men

Ibn al-Jawzi said in his book Adaab an-Nisa:

“وَاسْتُحِبَّ لِمَنْ أَرَادَ تَزْوِيجَ ابْنَتِهِ أَنْ يَنْظُرَ لَهَا شَابًّا مُسْتَحْسَنَ الصُّورَةِ؛ لِأَنَّ الْمَرْأَةَ تُحِبُّ مَا يُحِبُّ الرَّجُلُ”

“It is recommended for anyone who wants to marry off his daughter to consider a good-looking young man, because a woman loves what a man loves (i.e., a good-looking, pious spouse).”
[As-Saffaareeni, Ghitha’ Al-Albaab, 2/391]

As-Saffaareeni also quotes Umar ibn al-Khattab as saying:

“لَا تُنْكِحُوا الْمَرْأَةَ الْقَبِيحَ الدَّمِيمَ فَإِنَّهُنَّ يُحْبِبْنَ لِأَنْفُسِهِنَّ مَا تُحِبُّونَ لِأَنْفُسِكُمْ”

“Do not marry your women to ugly or unsightly men, for they love for themselves what you love for yourselves.” [Ibid]

It is also mentioned in al-Musannaf by ‘Abd al-Razzaq, where Umar (RA) said:

“يعمد أحدكم إلى بنته فيزوجها القبيح ، إنهن يحببن ما تحبون”

“When any of you knowingly marries his daughter to an ugly man, remember that women love for themselves what you love for yourselves.”
[Musannaf ‘Abd al-Razzaq, Kitab al-Nikah 6/158]

Scholars Strongly Discouraged Marrying Daughters and Sisters to Old Men

1. Such an act is foolish

Ibn Mufleh (Hanbali) said:

“ومن التغفيل أن يتزوج الشيخ صبية”
“It is foolish for an old man to marry a young girl.”
[al-Furoo, 5/150]

The same is stated by al-Buhooti in al-Iqna (Hanbali text).

2. Marry your daughter to pious, handsome men; avoid old men

Ibn Nujaym (Hanafi) said:

“والمرأة تختار الزوج الدين الحسن الخلق الجواد الموسر، ولا تتزوج فاسقا، ولا يزوج ابنته الشابة شيخا كبيرا، ولا رجلا دميما ويزوجها كفؤا، فإن خطبها الكفء لا يؤخرها، وهو كل مسلم تقي”

“A woman should choose a husband who is religious, of good character, generous, and financially stable. She must not marry a sinful man. Likewise, a guardian should not marry his young daughter to an elderly man or an unattractive man, but rather to a suitable match (kufu’). If a suitable suitor proposes, he should not delay her marriage — a suitable match being any pious Muslim man.”
[Al-Bahr al-Ra’iq, Vol. 3, p. 143]

3. Consequences of this type of marriage

Al-Saffarini (Hanbali) said:

فإنك إن نكحت وأنت شيخ شابة ( تعش ) معها ( في ضرار العيش ) من احتمالك لما يبدو منها من بذاذة اللسان وسوء العشرة والتبرم منك ، وذلك لقلة ما تجد عندك من بغية النساء وطلبتهن ، فإن غاية مقصود النساء الجماع الذي عجزت عنه لكبر سنك ، فأنت في سن الكبر وقد غلبت عليك البرودة ، وهي في سن الشباب وقد غلبت عليها الحرارة والشبق

“If you marry a young woman while you are old, you will endure a life of hardship with her, bearing the burden of her coarse speech, poor manners, and dissatisfaction with you. This is because you no longer have the ability to fulfill her desires, and her primary goal — intimacy — cannot be satisfied by you due to your advanced age. You are in old age, dominated by coldness, while she is in youth, dominated by warmth and desire.”
[Ghithā’ al-Albāb fī Sharḥ Manẓūmat al-Ādāb, 2/390]

This implies that if a young woman’s needs are not met due to the husband’s limitations, her frustration may manifest as rudeness or poor behavior.

4. If she commits adultery, the old man will be the reason

Al-Saffarini said:

إن لم تحبسها عن نيل شهواتها وتقصرها عليك ( ترض ب ) الفعل ( الردي ) وهو الزنا الذي هو أكبر الكبائر بعد الشرك والقتل ، وكنت حينئذ ديوثا والديوث لا يدخل الجنة ، فخسرت عرضك وتنغصت عليك عيشتك ، وخسرت آخرتك ، وذلك هو الخسران المبين .

“If you do not restrain her from seeking her desires and limit them to yourself, she may resort to immoral acts, such as adultery — one of the gravest sins after polytheism and murder. At that point, you become a ‘Dayyuth’ (a man who tolerates his wife’s infidelity), and a Dayyuth does not enter Paradise. You would lose your honor, live a miserable life, and lose your hereafter — this is the ultimate loss.”
[Ghithā’ al-Albāb fī Sharḥ Manẓūmat al-Ādāb, 2/390]

5. What is considered old age?

Al-Saffarini said:

قال في القاموس : الشيخ والشيخون من استبانت فيه السن أو من خمسين أو إحدى وخمسين إلى آخر عمره أو إلى ثمانين .

وعند الفقهاء الشيخ من الخمسين إلى السبعين ، والشباب من البلوغ إلى الثلاثين ، والكهل من الثلاثين إلى الخمسين ثم هو شيخ إلى السبعين .

“In Al-Qamus, a sheikh (elderly man) is one who shows visible signs of aging, or is between fifty/fifty-one and eighty. According to jurists, a sheikh is between fifty and seventy. Youth spans puberty to thirty. Middle age (kahl) covers thirty to fifty, after which one becomes old (sheikh) until seventy.”
[Ghithā’ al-Albāb, 2/390]

6. Marry daughters to young, handsome, pious men

Al-Saffarini cited Ibn al-Jawzi, who advised marrying daughters to pious and handsome men. Ibn al-Jawzi supported this with a ḥadīth and the statement of ʿUmar ibn al-Khaṭṭāb, both emphasizing the same principle.

7. Let no old man be deceived by his sexual urges

Ibn al-Jawzi said:

وأبله البله الشيخ الذي يطلب صبية… فإذا بلغت أرادت كثرة الجماع والشيخ لا يقدر.

فإن حمل على نفسه لم يبلغ مرادها، وهلك سريعاً.

ولا ينبغي أن يغتر بشهوته الجماع، فإن شهوته كالفجر الكاذب.

“How foolish is the old man who seeks a young girl! Once she reaches maturity, she desires frequent intimacy, which the old man cannot fulfill. If he forces himself to meet her demands, he will fail and perish swiftly. Let no old man be deceived by his sexual urges, for his passion is like a false dawn that promises light but delivers none.”
[Sayd al-Khatir, p. 420]

Summary

These scholars expressed these views centuries ago, and in modern times, such marriages are even more harmful. While not explicitly prohibited, marriages between elderly men and young girls are strongly discouraged. The reasoning is clear: the husband may be unable to fulfill his wife’s needs, potentially causing her frustration and harm, and exposing both to spiritual, emotional, and social consequences. Contemporary reality only reinforces this truth.

A Muslim Man Would Happily Give His Life for His Wife and Daughter in Islam

Narrated Sa‘id ibn Zayd:
The Prophet (ﷺ) said:

“He who is killed while protecting his property is a martyr, and he who is killed while defending his family, or his blood, or his religion is a martyr.”
(Sunan Abi Dawud 4772, graded Sahih by Al-Albani)

Ibn al-‘Arabi, the great mufassir, said a thousand years ago about men:

“ألم تعلموا أن الحرابة في الفروج أفحش منها في الأموال ؟! وأن الناس كلهم ليرضون أن تذهب أموالهم وتحرب من بين أيديهم ولا يحرب المرء من زوجته وبنته ، ولو كان فوق ما قال الله عقوبة لكانت لمن يسلب الفروج”
“Do you not know that aggression against honor is worse than aggression against wealth? Everyone would rather have their money taken or robbed than to see their wife or daughter harmed. If the punishment (for such aggression) prescribed by Allah were greater than what He decreed, it would apply to anyone who assaults the chastity of women.”
(Ahkam al-Quran 2/77)

Note:
This refers to true Muslim men, not those who are merely “Muslims in name”—especially not those who:

• Take their sister’s inheritance unjustly,

• Beat their wives like unbelievers beat their slaves,

• Disobey their mothers,

• Abuse women, and the like.

Sukayna – Daughter of Al-Hussain bin Ali (may Allah be pleased with them)

Dhahabi said:

سكينة

بنت الحسين الشهيد ، روت عن أبيها ، وكانت بديعة الجمال ، تزوجها ابن عمها عبد الله بن الحسن الأكبر ، فقتل مع أبيها قبل الدخول بها ، ثم تزوجها مصعب أمير العراق ، ثم تزوجت بغير واحد . وكانت شهمة مهيبة ، دخلت على هشام الخليفة فسلبته عمامته ومطرفه ، ومنطقته ، فأعطاها ذلك ، ولها نظم جيد .

قال بعضهم : أتيتها فإذا ببابها جرير والفرزدق وجميل وكثير ، فأمرت لكل واحد بألف درهم . توفيت في ربيع الأول سنة سبع عشرة ومائة قلما روت .

Daughter of the martyred Al-Hussain, she narrated hadiths from her father and was of exquisite beauty. She was married to her cousin, Abdullah ibn Al-Hasan Al-Akbar, but he was martyred alongside her father before the marriage was consummated. Later, she married Mus’ab, the governor of Iraq, and after him married others in succession.
She was a noble and dignified woman. On one occasion, she entered the presence of Caliph Hisham and took his turban, cloak, and belt, and he allowed her to keep them. She also composed excellent poetry.
Someone said: “I came to her door and found Jarir, Al-Farazdaq, Jamil, and Kuthayr there. She ordered that each of them be given a thousand dirhams.”
She passed away in Rabi’ al-Awwal in the year 117 AH. She narrated very few hadiths.

Reference: Siyar A‘lam al-Nubala, Vol. 5, p. 262

Virtues of Durrah, the daughter of the staunch enemy of Islam, Abu Lahab (may Allah be pleased with her)

It is mentioned in Majma‘ al-Zawa’id by al-Haythami:

باب مناقب درة بنت أبي لهب – رضي الله عنها –
15402 – عن ابن عمر ، وعن أبي هريرة ، وعن عمار بن ياسر قالوا : قدمت درة بنت أبي لهب مهاجرة ، فنزلت دار رافع بن المعلى الزرقي ، فقال لها نسوة جالسين إليها من بني زريق : أنت بنت أبي لهب الذي قال الله : ( تبت يدا أبي لهب وتب ما أغنى عنه ماله وما كسب ) يعني : ما يغني عنك مهاجرك ؟ فأتت درة النبي – صلى الله عليه وسلم – فشكت [ ص: 258 ] إليه ما قلن لها ، فسكنها رسول الله – صلى الله عليه وسلم – وقال : ” اجلسي ” . ثم صلى بالناس الظهر ، وجلس على المنبر ساعة ، وقال : ” أيها الناس ، مالي أوذى في أهلي ، فوالله إن شفاعتي لتنال حي حاء وحكم ، وصدا ، وسلهب ، يوم القيامة ” . رواه الطبراني ، وفيه عبد الرحمن بن بشير الدمشقي ، وثقه ابن حبان ، وضعفه أبو حاتم ، وبقية رجاله ثقات .

15402 – Narrated by Ibn Umar, Abu Hurayrah, and Ammar bin Yasir:
Durrah, daughter of Abu Lahab, migrated to Medina and stayed at the house of Rafi‘ ibn al-Mulay al-Zarqi. Some women from the Banu Zariq tribe, sitting nearby, said to her:

“You are the daughter of Abu Lahab, about whom Allah said: ‘May the hands of Abu Lahab perish, and he perish! Neither his wealth nor what he gained will benefit him.’ This means your migration will not benefit you.”

Durrah went to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and complained about what they had said. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) reassured her and said:

“Sit down.”

He then led the people in the afternoon prayer, sat on the pulpit for a while, and said:

“O people, why do you harm my family? By Allah, my intercession will reach the tribes of Ha’a, Ṣudā, Ḥakam, and Salhab on the Day of Judgment.”

This hadith is narrated by al-Tabarani. The chain includes Abd al-Rahman ibn Bashir al-Dimashqi, considered trustworthy by Ibn Hibban but weak by Abu Hatim. The rest of the narrators are trustworthy.

15403 – Narrated by Ibn Abi al-Husayn:
Durrah, daughter of Abu Lahab, was married to al-Harith ibn Abd Allah ibn Nawfal and bore him three sons: Uqba, al-Walid, and Abu Muslim. Later, she came to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) in Medina. People had spoken about her parents. She said to the Prophet:

“O Messenger of Allah, am I the only daughter of disbelievers?”

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) asked:

“What is that?”

She said:

“The people of Medina have hurt me regarding my parents.”

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

“When you pray the afternoon prayer, pray where I can also see you.”

He prayed the afternoon prayer, then turned to her and addressed the people:

“O people, do you have lineage and I do not?”

Umar ibn al-Khattab stood and said:

“May Allah be angry with whoever angers you.”

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

“This is my cousin. No one should say anything to her except good.”

This hadith is narrated by al-Tabarani. Ibn Abi al-Husayn refers to Abdullah ibn Abd al-Rahman ibn Abi al-Husayn. He is a mursal, and the narrators are considered authentic.

Reference: Majma‘ al-Zawa’id – al-Haythami, Vol. 9, p. 258

The second hadith is also mentioned in Arba‘een Fada’il Sahabiyat, no. 36, authored by Abu Hamza Abdul Khaliq, with a beautiful introduction by Shaykh Abdullah Nasir Rehmani.

Note: The children of the cursed Abu Lahab accepted Islam after the conquest of Makkah, except for Utaibah.

• Abu Lahab’s sons: Utba, Utaibah, Mut‘ab

• Abu Lahab’s daughters: Durrah, Khalidah, Izzah

Wake up from your ignorance! Prophets like Yahya (John) were childless, and others like Lut (Lot) had only daughters. What makes you think these pir babas have the power to grant you sons?

Allah says:

“To Allah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth. He creates what He wills. He bestows female upon whom He wills, and bestows male upon whom He wills. Or He bestows both males and females, and He renders barren whom He wills. Verily, He is the All-Knower and is Able to do all things.” (Qur’an 42:49-50)

If you read the tafsir of this verse, it is mentioned:

• Lut (Lot) had only daughters, no sons.

• Abraham had only sons.

• Muhammad (peace be upon him) had both sons and daughters.

• Adam and Hawwa (Eve) had twins.

• Yahya (John) was childless.

How foolish it is to rely on a powerless pir baba for prayers! Prophets like Zakariya (Zechariah) had children in old age, showing that it is Allah’s will who grants children. Seek blessings from your parents, not from those who claim to have spiritual influence and attract you with slogans like: “InshaAllah beta hee hoga.”

Peace be upon all the Prophets.

Some weak aḥādīth whose meanings are sound due to other authentic narrations regarding daughters.

1. Hafiz Sakhawi said:

On the authority of Wāthilah ibn al-Asqaʿ, narrated as marfūʿ with the wording:

“Among the blessings of a woman is that she gives birth to a female first. Have you not heard the statement of Allah, the Exalted: ‘He grants females to whom He wills’? He began with females.”

It is also narrated from ʿĀʾishah as a marfūʿ report with the wording:

“Among the blessings of a woman upon her husband are the ease of her dowry and that she gives birth to females first.” Both of these narrations are weak.

The second narration is reported by Aḥmad, al-Ṭabarānī in al-Awsaṭ and al-Ṣaghīr, Abū Nuʿaym, and others with the wording:

“Indeed, among the good omens of a woman are the ease of her proposal, the ease of her dowry, and the ease of her womb.”

Al-Ṭabarānī added from ʿUrwah: “And I say: among the first of her bad omens is that her dowry is excessive.”

It is also narrated:

“Do not dislike daughters, for they are affectionate and precious.” (This ḥadīth is authentic according to al-Albānī, al-Silsilah al-Ṣaḥīḥah, no. 3206.)

And in al-Firdaws, then in its Musnad, without a chain, from ʿAlī as a marfūʿ narration:

“The best of children are daughters; they are affectionate, supportive, precious, and blessed.” (This narration has no chain and is therefore not authentic.)

It is also narrated from Ibrāhīm ibn Ḥakīm al-Madanī who is accused of fabrication from Shuʿbah, from al-Ḥakam, from ʿIkrimah, from Ibn ʿAbbās, that a man supplicated for death upon his daughters. The Prophet ﷺ said to him:

“Do not supplicate against them, for indeed blessing is in daughters.” (This narration is fabricated.)

A similar report is found in Abū Mūsā al-Madanī from Ibn ʿAbbās, that Aws ibn Saʿīdah al-Anṣārī entered upon the Prophet ﷺ and said:

“O Messenger of Allah, I have daughters and I supplicate for death upon them.”

He ﷺ replied:

“O son of Saʿīdah, do not supplicate against them, for blessing is in daughters. They are a comfort in times of ease, a shield in times of calamity, and caregivers in times of hardship. Their burden is upon the earth, and their provision is upon Allah.” (This report is also narrated by Ibn al-Athīr with his chain in Usd al-Ghābah 1/218.)

Al-Sakhāwī commented on above:

“Had there been no blessing in daughters, the pure progeny (ʿitrah) and the continuous prophetic lineage would not have come through females.”

(al-Maqāṣid al-Ḥasanah, p. 678)

Never Hate Your Daughter.

The Prophet ﷺ said:

“لا تكرهوا البنات؛ فإنَّهنَّ المؤنسات الغاليات”
“Do not dislike your daughters, for they are precious and comforting companions.”
[Silsilah al-Saheeha, no. 3206]

Al-Suyuti said:

“سُمِّيَت البنت جارية لأنها أسرع جريًا في قلوب الآباء من الأبناء لرأفتهم وشفقَتهم عليهنّ.”
“The daughter is called ‘Jariyah’ because she settles quickly in the hearts of fathers, more than sons, due to their compassion and care for her.”
[Al-Kanz al-Madfoon wa al-Falak al-Mashhoon, p. 149]

 Authentic Narrations from al‑Targhīb wa‑al‑Tarhīb by al-Mundharī on Spending on Daughters.

Al-Hafiz Mundharī said:
Section 5: Encouragement to Spend on One’s Wife and Family, Warning Against Neglecting Them, and What Has Been Reported Regarding Spending on Daughters and Raising Them Properly

1. Hadith 1951 – (Authentic)
   Narrated by Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him):
   The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:

“A dinar (gold coin) that you spend in the cause of Allah, a dinar that you spend to free a slave, a dinar that you give in charity to a poor person, and a dinar that you spend on your family – the greatest of them in reward is the one you spend on your family.”
Reported by Muslim.

2. Hadith 1952 – (Authentic)
Narrated by Thawban, the freed slave of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ:
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:

“The best dinar a man spends is a dinar he spends on his family, a dinar he spends on his horse in the cause of Allah, and a dinar he spends on his companions in the cause of Allah.”

Abu Qilabah (a narrator) said:

“He began with the family.” Then he added:
“What man can earn a greater reward than one who spends on young children whom Allah protects through him, benefits through him, or enriches through him?”
Reported by Muslim and al-Tirmidhī.

3. Hadith 1954 – (Authentic)
Narrated by Abu Mas’ud al-Badri (may Allah be pleased with him), from the Prophet ﷺ:

“If a man spends on his family seeking reward (from Allah), it will be counted for him as charity.”
Reported by al-Bukhari, Muslim, al-Tirmidhī, and al-Nasa’i.

4. Hadith 1955 – (Authentic)
Narrated by al-Miqdam ibn Ma’di Yakrib (may Allah be pleased with him):
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:

“Whatever you feed yourself is charity for you, whatever you feed your child is charity for you, whatever you feed your wife is charity for you, and whatever you feed your servant is charity for you.”
Reported by Ahmad with a good chain.

5. Hadith 1956 – (Sound and Authentic)
Narrated by ‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ud (may Allah be pleased with him):
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:

“The upper hand is better than the lower hand. Start giving to those under your care: your mother, your father, your sister, your brother – then the next closest, and then the next.”
Reported by al-Ṭabarāni with a good chain.

6. Hadith 1957 – (Good)
Narrated by Abu Umamah (may Allah be pleased with him):
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:

“Whoever spends on himself to remain dignified and independent, it is charity; and whoever spends on his wife, children, and household, it is charity.”
Reported by al-Ṭabarānī with two chains, one of which is good.

7. Hadith 1958 – (Authentic)
Narrated by Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him):

One day, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said to his companions:
“Give in charity.”
A man said, “O Messenger of Allah, I have one dinar.”
He ﷺ said, “Spend it on yourself.”
The man said, “I have another.”
He ﷺ said, “Spend it on your wife.”
The man said, “I have another.”
He ﷺ said, “Spend it on your child.”
The man said, “I have another.”
He ﷺ said, “Spend it on your servant.”
The man said, “I have another.”
He ﷺ replied, “You know best what to do with it.”
Reported by Ibn Ḥibbān in his Ṣaḥīḥ.

8. Hadith 1959 – (Authentic)
Narrated by Ka‘b ibn ‘Ujrah (may Allah be pleased with him):

A man passed by the Prophet ﷺ, and the Companions noticed his strength and energy. They said:
“O Messenger of Allah! If only this were used in the path of Allah!”
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
“If he went out striving to provide for his small children, then he is in the path of Allah.
If he went out striving to support two elderly parents, then he is in the path of Allah.
If he went out striving to earn for himself to remain chaste and self-sufficient, then he is in the path of Allah.
But if he went out to boast and show off, then he is in the path of Shayṭān.”
Reported by al-Ṭabarānī with authentic narrators.

9. Hadith 1960 – (Good)
Narrated by Jābir (may Allah be pleased with him):
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:

“Whatever a man spends on himself, his children, his family, his relatives, and his close kin – it is counted as charity for him.”
Reported by al-Ṭabarānī with many supporting narrations.

10. Hadith 1965 – (Good)
Narrated by ʿAbdullāh ibn ʿAmr (may Allah be pleased with them both):
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:

“It is enough of a sin for a person to neglect those whom he is responsible to provide for.”
Reported by Abū Dāwūd, al-Nasāʾī, and al-Ḥākim.

11. Hadith 1966 – (Sound and Authentic)
Narrated by al-Ḥasan (may Allah be pleased with him) from the Prophet ﷺ:

“Indeed, Allah will question every shepherd (leader) about his flock—whether he protected them or neglected them—even a man will be asked about his household.”
Reported by Ibn Ḥibbān in his Ṣaḥīḥ.

12. Hadith 1967 – (Sound and Authentic)
Narrated by Anas ibn Mālik (may Allah be pleased with him):
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:

“Indeed, Allah will question every shepherd about what he was entrusted with—whether he preserved it or neglected it.”
Reported by Ibn Ḥibbān in his Ṣaḥīḥ.

13. Hadith 1968 – (Authentic)
Narrated by ‘Ā’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her):
A woman came with her two daughters, seeking charity. ‘Ā’ishah gave her one date, which she split between her daughters. The Prophet ﷺ said:

“Whoever is tested with daughters and treats them well – they will be a shield for him from the Fire.”
Reported by al-Bukhari, Muslim, and al-Tirmidhī.

14. Hadith 1969 – (Authentic)
Narrated by ʿĀ’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her):
A poor woman with two daughters was given three dates. She gave each daughter one and was about to eat the third when they asked for it, so she split it between them. The Prophet ﷺ said:

“Allah has made Paradise obligatory for her because of them, or freed her from the Fire.”
Reported by Muslim.

15. Hadith 1970 – (Authentic)
Narrated by Anas (may Allah be pleased with him):
The Prophet ﷺ said:

“Whoever raises two daughters until maturity, he will come on the Day of Resurrection with me like this.” (He joined his fingers.)
Reported by Muslim, al-Tirmidhī, and Ibn Ḥibbān.

16. Hadith 1971 – (Good)
Narrated by Ibn ʿAbbās (may Allah be pleased with them both):
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:

“No Muslim who has two daughters and treats them well will enter Paradise because of them.”
Reported by Ibn Mājah and Ibn Ḥibbān.

17. Hadith 1972 – (Good)
Narrated by ‘Awf ibn Mālik (may Allah be pleased with him):
The Prophet ﷺ said:

“No Muslim who has three daughters and spends on them will have them as a shield from the Fire.”
A woman asked: “What about two?” He replied: “Even two.”
Reported by al-Ṭabarānī with supporting narrations.

18. Hadith 1973 – (Authentic)
Narrated by Abu Sa‘īd al-Khudrī (may Allah be pleased with him):
The Prophet ﷺ said:

“Whoever has three daughters, or three sisters, or two daughters, or two sisters, and treats them well—for him is Paradise.”
Reported by al-Tirmidhī, Abū Dāwūd, and Ibn Ḥibbān.

19. Hadith 1974 – (Good)
Narrated by Umm Salamah (may Allah be pleased with her):
The Prophet ﷺ said:

“Whoever spends on two daughters or sisters, seeking reward, until Allah enriches them—they will be a shield for him from the Fire.”
Reported by Aḥmad and al-Ṭabarānī.

20. Hadith 1975 – (Authentic)
Narrated by Jābir (may Allah be pleased with him):
The Prophet ﷺ said:

“Whoever has three daughters, shelters them, shows mercy, and supports them—Paradise is guaranteed for him.”
When asked about two, he said: “Even two.”
Reported by Aḥmad, al-Bazzār, and al-Ṭabarānī.

3, 2, or 1 Daughter, Sister, or Even Female Relative.

Jābir narrated that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

“من كن له ثلاث بنات يؤويهن ويرحمهن ويكفلهن وجبت له الجنة البتة. قيل: يا رسول الله! فإن كانت اثنتين؟ قال: وإن كانت اثنتين. قال: فراى بعض القوم ان لو قالوا له: واحدة؟ لقال: واحدة.”

“Whoever has three daughters, provides for them, shows mercy to them, and supports them, Paradise is guaranteed for him.”

Someone asked, “O Messenger of Allah, what if he has two?”
He replied, “Even if he has two.”

The narrator added: “Some people thought that if they had asked about one daughter, he would have said Paradise is guaranteed for one as well.”

Reported in Musnad Ahmad 1427, authenticated by Shaykh Shuayb al-Arnaut and al-Albani in Silsilah al-Ahadeeth al-Saheehah, no. 2679.

Ibn Jawzi said:

“Chapter Seventy-Nine: On the Reward of Raising Daughters, Spending on Them, and on Sisters”

1. From Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) via Abdullah ibn Abi Bakr ibn Hazm, who narrated from Urwah ibn al-Zubayr that A’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her), the wife of the Prophet ﷺ, said:

A woman came to me with her two daughters, asking for charity. I had nothing except one date, which I gave her. She took it and split it between her two daughters and did not eat any herself. Then she left with her daughters.
When the Prophet ﷺ came to me, I told him what happened. He said:
“Whoever is tested with such daughters and treats them well, they will be a shield for him from the Fire.”
Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim.

2. From Abu al-Yaman, from Shu’ayb, from Jabir ibn Abdullah (may Allah be pleased with him):

The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Whoever has three daughters, shelters them, shows them mercy, and treats them well, Paradise becomes obligatory for him.”
They asked: “Even if he has only two?” He replied: “Even two.”
It is said that if they had asked about one, he would have said: “Even one.”

3. From Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him):

A woman came to A’ishah with her two children. She was given three dates. She gave each child one date, and then they looked at their mother. She took the third date, split it in half, and gave each child half. When the Prophet ﷺ came in, A’ishah informed him, and he said:
“What amazes you about this? By her mercy, Allah has shown mercy to her children.”

4. From Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him):

The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Whoever has three daughters and patiently shelters them through hardship and ease, Allah will admit him to Paradise because of His mercy towards them.”
A man asked: “Even two, O Messenger of Allah?” He said: “Even two.”
Another asked: “Even one, O Messenger of Allah?” He said: “Even one.”

5. From Abu Saʿid al-Khudri (may Allah be pleased with him):

The Prophet ﷺ said:
“No one who has three daughters, or three sisters, or two sisters, and fears Allah regarding them and treats them well, will fail to enter Paradise.”

6. From Umm Salamah (may Allah be pleased with her):

The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Whoever spends on two daughters, two sisters, or female relatives seeking reward from Allah until Allah enriches them from His bounty or suffices them, they will be a shield for him from the Fire.”

7. From Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him):

The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Whoever has three daughters or three sisters, fears Allah regarding them, and cares for them, will be with me in Paradise like this,” and he indicated by holding three fingers together.

8. From Ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them):

The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Whoever has a daughter and does not humiliate her, neglect her, or favor his sons over her, Allah will admit him to Paradise through her.”

9. From Abu Wa’il:

The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Whoever has a daughter, educates her well, teaches her properly, and grants her a share of Allah’s blessings, it will be a shield for him from the Fire.”

10. From ‘Uqbah ibn ‘Amr al-Juhani:

The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Whoever has three daughters, patiently shelters them, feeds them, gives them drink, and clothes them from his resources, they will be a shield for him from the Fire.”

11. From the Prophet ﷺ generally:

“Do not dislike daughters, for they are comforting, precious, and blessed.” [Ahkam an-Nisa by Ibn Jawzi]

Summary:

These narrations emphasize the immense reward in raising daughters, sisters, or even female relatives. Spending on them, educating them, treating them with mercy and care, and prioritizing their well-being leads to Paradise and protection from the Fire. Even having one daughter or sister and treating her well brings divine reward, highlighting the value Islam places on daughters and female relatives.

An interesting narration about a marriage where a girl was not willing to marry Ibn Umar (ra)

For those who claim: “We know what is best for our daughter who cannot make decisions, so her consent is not important”:

Ibn Umar (ra) said:

توفي عثمان بن مظعون وترك ابنة له … فزوجها ابن عمتها عبد الله بن عمر فلم أقصر بها في الصلاح ولا في الكفاءة ولكنها امرأة وإنما حطت إلى هوى أمها … فقال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم هي يتيمة ولا تنكح إلا بإذنها

When Uthman bin Maz‘oon (ra) died, he left a daughter. Ibn Umar (ra) said: “My maternal uncle Qudama, who was her paternal uncle, conducted her nikah with me after her father passed away. Her mother wanted her to marry Mugheera bin Shubah because he was wealthy, and the girl agreed with her mother.

When the matter was brought to the Prophet (peace be upon him), he said: ‘She is an orphan; do not marry her without her consent.’” [Musnad Ahmad 17/181, Hasan chain per Shuaib al-Arna’oot, Ahmad Shakir authenticated, al-Haythami: narrators trustworthy]

Ibn Maja also narrated:

“When Uthman bin Maz‘oon died, he left a daughter. Ibn Umar said: ‘My maternal uncle Qudama married me to her without consulting her. She did not like this marriage and wanted to marry Mughirah bin Shubah, so she married him.’” [Ibn Maja 1878]

This shows the importance of the girl’s consent, even from the best of men.

What if the guardian prevents the woman from marrying the suitor of her choice who is suitable for her, and forces her to marry the man of his interest?

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said:

وإذا رضيت رجلا وكان كفؤا لها وجب على وليها كالأخ ثم العم أن يزوجها به فإن عضلها وامتنع من تزويجها زوجها الولي الأبعد منه أو الحاكم بغير إذنه باتفاق العلماء فليس للولي أن يجبرها على نكاح من لا ترضاه ولا يعضلها عن نكاح من ترضاه إذا كان كفؤا باتفاق الأئمة وإنما يجبرها ويعضلها أهل الجاهلية والظلمة الذين يزوجون نساءهم لمن يختارونه لغرض لا لمصلحة المرأة ويكرهونها على ذلك أو يخجلونها حتى تفعل ويعضلونها عن نكاح من يكون كفؤا لها لعداوة أو غرض وهذا كله من عمل الجاهلية والظلم والعدوان وهو مما حرمه الله ورسوله واتفق المسلمون على تحريمه وأوجب الله على أولياء النساء أن ينظروا في مصلحة المرأة لا في أهواءهم كسائر الأولياء والوكلاء ممن تصرف لغيره فإنه يقصد مصلحة من تصرف له لا يقصد هواه فإن هذا من الأمانة التي أمر الله أن تؤدي إلى أهلها فقال إن الله يأمركم أن تؤدوا الأمانات إلى أهلها وإذا حكمتم بين الناس أن تحكموا بالعدل وهذا من النصيحة الواجبة وقد قال النبي الدين النصيحة الدين النصيحة الدين النصيحة قالوا لمن يا رسول الله قال لله ولكتابه ولرسوله ولأئمة المسلمين وعامتهم والله أعلم

“If she is willing to marry a man and he is suitable for her, it is obligatory upon her guardian (wali), such as her brother or paternal uncle, to marry her to him. If he (the guardian) prevents her from marrying him or refrains from conducting the marriage, then according to the consensus of scholars, the next closest relative or the ruler (Haakim) may conduct the marriage without the permission of the first guardian.

Those who prevent her from marrying a suitable man and force her to marry another for their own desires are following the ways of oppressors of the days of ignorance. They marry women to those whom the women do not accept, but they themselves choose, forcing her and shaming her until she complies, and they prevent her from marrying a suitable man due to enmity or personal interest.

All of this is the practice of ignorance, oppression, and injustice, which Allah and His Messenger (peace be upon him) prohibited. The consensus of scholars agrees on this prohibition. Allah obligates guardians to consider the welfare of the woman rather than their own desires.

“Indeed, Allah commands you to render trusts to whom they are due and when you judge between people to judge with justice.” (Quran 4:58)

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) also said:

“Religion is sincerity, religion is sincerity, religion is sincerity.” They said, “To whom, O Messenger of Allah?” He said: “To Allah, to His Book, to His Messenger, to the imams of the Muslims, and to their common folk.” [Sunan an-Nasa’i 4199, Majmu‘ al-Fatawa 32/52-53]

The ḥadīth “A righteous woman is better than a thousand unrighteous men” is weak in its chain, but its meaning is sound.

Shaykh Muḥammad ibn Ṣāliḥ al-ʿUthaymīn رحمه الله said:

نعم، ضعيف، لكن معناه صحيح. الحديث يقول:
(المرأة الصالحة خير من ألف رجل غير صالح)

أي نعم، إن كان هو غير صالح، أي فاسدًا فسادًا مطلقًا، فهي خير من مليون رجل. وإن كان ليس مثلها في الكمال، فلا يصح هذا القول.

Shaykh: Yes, it is weak, but its meaning is correct. The narration states:
“A righteous woman is better than a thousand unrighteous men.”

Questioner: Is that what it means?

Shaykh: Exactly. If the man in question is truly unrighteous—that is, utterly corrupt—then she is indeed better than a million men. However, if he merely falls short of her level of virtue, then this statement does not properly apply.

(Sharḥ Bulūgh al-Marām, Kitāb al-Ṭahārah — audio link referenced)

Ibn ʿUthaymīn said:

ثم اعلم أن معاملتك لزوجتك يجب أن تُقدَّر كأن رجلًا زوجًا لابنتك؛ كيف يعاملها؟ فهل ترضى أن يعاملها بالجفاء والقسوة؟ الجواب: لا. إذًا لا ترضَ أن تعامل بنت الناس بما لا ترضى أن تُعامَل به ابنتك، وهذه قاعدة ينبغي أن يعرفها كل إنسان.

“Then know that your treatment of your wife should be considered as though a man were married to your own daughter. How would he treat her? Would you be pleased if he treated her with harshness and cruelty? The answer is no. Therefore, do not treat other people’s daughters in a way that you would not want your own daughter to be treated. This is a principle that every person should know.”

(Ash-Sharḥ al-Mumtiʿ, 12/381)

A righteous daughter is better than a thousand sons.

Shaykh Ṣāliḥ al-Fawzān حفظه الله said:

رب بنت صالحة خير من ألف ابن

“Sometimes a righteous daughter is better than a thousand sons.”

(Reported by Ḥāfiẓ Muḥammad Ṭāhir; mentioned in a lecture dated 19-3-1441 AH.)

Daughters and Muhaddith Shaykh Hamad bin Muhammad al-Ansaari al-Khazraji as-Sa’adi – a descendant of Sa’ad bin ‘Ubadah al-Ansaari, the noble Companion – Radi Allahu anhu.

A man said to him, “I have four daughters.”
He replied: “I am envious of you, for I do not have four daughters while you do.”

[Al-Majmoo’ fi Tarjamat al-Shaykh Hamad al-Ansaari, 2/560]

What is the authenticity and meaning of the statement: “Daughters are good deeds, and sons are blessings. Good deeds are rewarded, while blessings are questioned.”

Answer:

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah.

This statement is attributed by some scholars to certain righteous predecessors, such as Jaʿfar al-Ṣādiq and Muḥammad ibn Sulaymān.

For example, Abū Manṣūr al-Thaʿālibī (may Allah have mercy on him) said in Durar al-Ḥikam (p. 24):

“Jaʿfar ibn Muḥammad said: Daughters are good deeds, and sons are blessings. Good deeds are rewarded, and blessings are questioned.”

Similarly, Ibn ʿAbd al-Barr (may Allah have mercy on him) mentioned a related statement in Bahjat al-Majālis (p. 162):

“Muḥammad ibn Sulaymān said: Sons are blessings, and daughters are good deeds. Allah Almighty will question us about blessings and reward us for good deeds.”

This statement was also reported by Ibn Mufliḥ (may Allah have mercy on him) in al-Ādāb al-Sharʿiyyah (1/454), attributed to Muḥammad ibn Sulaymān.

Both sons and daughters are blessings from Allah bestowed upon human beings. As Allah says:

“To Allah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth. He creates what He wills. He grants daughters to whom He wills and grants sons to whom He wills. Or He gives them both—sons and daughters—and He makes whom He wills barren. Indeed, He is All-Knowing, All-Powerful.”

(Sūrat al-Shūrā, 42:49–50)

The Prophet ﷺ said:

“Whoever is tested with daughters in any manner and treats them well, they will be a shield for him from the Fire.”

— Reported by al-Bukhārī (1418) and Muslim (2629)

He ﷺ also said:

“Whoever takes care of two daughters until they reach maturity, he and I will come on the Day of Judgment like this,” and he joined his fingers together.

— Reported by Muslim (2631)

Preference is not based on gender, but on righteousness and piety. A daughter may be better for her parents in this life and the Hereafter than a son, and a son may likewise be better than a daughter.

Both sons and daughters are blessings, and both can be a means of good deeds—if Allah grants success through them.

And Allah knows best. (Adapted from IslamQA)

How do we know about a girl’s consent if she remains silent regarding her marriage?

1. Abu al-Abbas Qurtubi said:

“It is recommended that the virgin be informed that her silence will be considered as consent, so that she is aware and there is no fear of ignorance.” [Al-Mufhim 4/118]

2. Ibn Hibban said:

“An orphan girl should be consulted regarding her marriage. If she remains silent, that counts as her permission; if she refuses, it is not permissible to force her.” [Saheeh Ibn Hibban 4079]

3. Imam al-Bukhari said:

“The father or guardian cannot marry off a virgin or matron without her consent.” [Sahih al-Bukhari 5137]
Narrated `Aisha: “O Messenger of Allah! A virgin feels shy.” He said: “Her consent is (expressed by) her silence.”

Imam Ahmad’s reaction to the birth of daughters

Ibn al-Qayyim said:

Saalih bin Ahmad said: Whenever a daughter was born to my father (Ahmad bin Hanbal), he would say: “The Prophets were fathers of daughters.”
Ya‘qub bin Bakhtan said: “I had seven daughters. Whenever a daughter was born to me, I would visit Ahmad bin Hanbal, and he would say: ‘O Abu Yusuf, the Prophets were fathers of daughters.’ His words would relieve my sorrow.” [Tuhfatul Mawdood 26]

If a Daughterasks, what will she get in Paradise?

“And therein is whatever the souls desire and [what] delights the eyes.” (43:71)
“Therein you shall have all that your inner-selves desire.” (Fussilat 41:31-32)
“If any do deeds of righteousness, be they male or female, and have faith, they will enter Jannah, and not the least injustice will be done to them.” (An-Nisa 4:124)

Narrated Abu Huraira:

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Allah said, ‘I have prepared for My pious worshipers such things as no eye has seen, no ear has heard of, and no soul has imagined.’” [Sahih al-Bukhari 4780]

Prophet (peace be upon him) also said:

“If Allah admits you into Paradise, you will have in it whatever your soul desires and whatever pleases your eyes.” [Silsilat al-Saheehah 3001]

In simple words: whatever you desire, even beyond imagination, you will receive. Paradise is the ultimate destination, where there will be no envy, sickness, or injustice.

Yahya ibn Ma‘in on daughters, mothers, and wives

He said:

ان لى ابنا صغيرا ابن سنتين وسبعة اشهر وابنة بنت خمس وعشرين سنة فربما اردت ان ابر ابنى بشىء فأخرج من ابنتى الا افعل بها مثل ذلك وذلك انه يقال ساووا بين اولادكم حتى فى القبل سمعت يحيى بن معين وسئل عن رجل حلف بطلاق امرأته الا يبر امه ولا ترزأ منه شيئا ابدا فقال هذا رجل سوء فاسق

“I have a young son, two years and seven months old, and a daughter who is twenty-five years old. Sometimes I intend to do a good deed for my son by giving him something, but then I refrain from doing the same for my daughter (as She was not living with him because of her marriage). This is because it is said: ‘Be equal between your children, even in kissing.’

I heard Yahya ibn Ma‘in, and he was asked about a man who swore an oath by divorcing his wife that he would never do good to his mother, nor would she ever receive anything from him. He said: ‘This is an evil man, a transgressor.'”

[Tarikh Ibn Ma‘in, Riwayat Ibn Mahraz 2/19]

It is preferred not to marry cousins in Hanbali Fiqh

In Hanbali Fiqh, preference is given to marrying non-relatives over close relatives. As stated by Imam Ibn Qudama al-Maqdisi al-Hanbali (d. 620 AH):

“Marry strangers so that your offspring may not be weak.”

Moreover, marriage disputes often lead to divorce, and if there is a family relationship, it can lead to severing ties, which is forbidden.
— Al-Mughni Sharh Mukhtasar al-Kharqi by Ibn Qudama al-Hanbali (9/512, Al-Turki)

2. The same is the case in Shafi‘i Madhab

A) It is mentioned in Manhaj al-Talibin:

وسن بكر إلا لعذر دينة جميلة ولود نسيبة غير ذات قرابة قريبة

“Preferably, marry a beautiful, virgin woman with a good family background who is not a close relative.”
(Manhaj al-Talibin fi Fiqh al-Imam al-Shafi‘i, p. 110)

B) It also states:

ويستحب دينة بكر نسيبة ليست قرابة قريبة

“It is recommended to marry a virgin, non-close relative with a good family background.”
(Manhaj al-Talibin, p. 204)

C) Another Fatwa states:

(وجميلة) أولى: لخبر: خير النساء من تسر إذا نظرت (و) قرابة (بعيدة) عنه ممن في نسبه أولى من قرابة قريبة وأجنبية لضعف الشهوة في القريبة، فيجئ الولد نحيفا.

“The beautiful one is preferred because of the khabar: ‘The best women are those who bring joy when looked at.’ Also, distant relatives are preferred over close relatives and non-relatives due to the weakness of desire in close relatives, which may result in weak offspring.”
(I‘anat al-Talibin, vol. 3, p. 313)

D) Imam al-Shafi‘i himself said:

:”لَيْسَ مِنْ قَوْمٍ لا يُخْرِجُونَ نِسَاءَهُمْ إِلَى رِجَالِ غَيْرِهِمْ فِي التَّزْوِيجِ، وَلا رِجَالَهُمْ إِلَى نِسَاءِ غَيْرِهِمْ فِي التَّزْوِيجِ، إِلا جَاءَ أَوْلادُهُمْ حَمْقَى”.

“There is no community that does not marry their women to men outside their tribe, and their men to women outside their tribe, except that their offspring will be foolish.”

Personal Observation:

One of my Muslim friends said: In our caste (Rajput), there is an upper level and a lower level within the same caste. The upper-level Rajputs do not marry outside their caste, while the lower level may.

I was surprised that even among Muslims, some believe in upper and lower caste distinctions—even within the same caste.

I also met a person who said they do not marry outside their caste (Khokhars). When I asked why, he said their peer (spiritual master), buried near Toba Tek Singh, ordered them not to. He claimed that marrying outside the caste carries a high risk of magic.

He also mentioned that there are more males than females in their family, yet he still opposed marrying outside the caste. I have observed similar beliefs in many Rajputs as well.

Note: This post does not degrade any caste; it highlights the ignorance of some people only.

Conclusion

In light of the Qur’anic wording, the explanations of the mufassirīn, and the careful scrutiny of the narrations, it becomes clear that Islam decisively overturned the pre-Islamic mindset that demeaned daughters. Allah’s choice to describe daughters as a gift and to mention them before sons is not incidental, but deliberate—serving as correction, honour, and reassurance. As Ibn al-Qayyim and others explained, what Jāhiliyyah treated as inferior, Allah elevated even in mention, thereby dismantling inherited biases at their root.

Although many narrations explicitly stating the precedence of daughters are weak when attributed directly to the Prophet ﷺ, their meanings are firmly grounded in Qur’anic guidance, accepted tafsīr, authentic reports, and the lived Sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ in encouraging kindness, care, and responsibility toward daughters. The scholars’ consensus on the virtue, blessing, and honour of daughters remains unaffected by the weakness of certain chains, because the principle itself is established through multiple, independent evidences.

Ultimately, disliking daughters, grieving at their birth, or neglecting their rights is not merely a social failing but a contradiction of divine wisdom and prophetic guidance. The fact that Allah chose to preserve the pure prophetic lineage through daughters alone stands as the strongest refutation of any lingering disdain. Thus, daughters are not a test to endure reluctantly, but a blessing to be received with gratitude, nurtured with compassion, and honoured as a means of divine mercy and lasting reward.