25 profound narrations of Umar ibn Al Khattab related to women.
1. Umar ibn al Khattab on Widows.
2. Umar ibn al Khattab wouldn’t pay attention to Women in jahiliyah.
3. Umar ibn al Khattab would listen and help everyone, even when a young widow stopped him on his way.
4. Umar ibn al Khattab and Women who did zina forcefully.
5. There is no diyah for would be rapist if a woman kills him.
6. Umar ibn al Khattab and his punishment for the one who gives three divorces in one sitting.
7. Umar ibn al Khattab and Pre-planned Halala
8. The Mahr of Umm Kulthum.
9. Staying away from wife for more than six months?
10. Marrying the virgins.
11. Marrying the daughters with religious good looking men.
12. The story of Umar ra and a woman whose children were hungry.
13. Umar ibn al Khattab and his justice for the Jew woman.
14. A Woman complaining about her husband in the court of Umar ibn al Khattab that he don’t spend night with me.
15. The story of Umar and a Christian old woman.
16. Umar bin al Khattab made her his daughter in law due to her attitude.
17. Umar bin al Khattab used to reconcile the fights between husband and wife.
18. When Umar bin al Khattab radhiAllahanho tried to arrange a marriage of zani boy and a girl.
19. Asma bint Umais vs Umar bin al Khattab
20. Wife of Umar ibn al Khattab kissed his forehead.
21. When Umar kissed his wife while fasting.
22. If someone drank wife’s milk, he does not become her son.
23. Umar would not stop his wife to go to masjid.
24. Taking care of elderly women.
25. When Umar became worried and thought intimation is not allowed in such a way.
1. Umar ibn al Khattab on Widows.
Umar ibn al Khattab said:
“If Allah should keep me alive I will let the widows of Iraq need no men to support them after me.” [Sahih al Bukhari no. 3700]
2. Umar ibn al Khattab wouldn’t pay attention to Women in jahiliyah.
Umar May Allah be pleased with him said:
وَاللَّهِ إِنْ كُنَّا فِي الْجَاهِلِيَّةِ مَا نَعُدُّ لِلنِّسَاءِ أَمْرًا، حَتَّى أَنْزَلَ اللَّهُ فِيهِنَّ مَا أَنْزَلَ وَقَسَمَ لَهُنَّ مَا قَسَمَ ـ
“By Allah, in the Pre-lslamic Period of Ignorance we did not pay attention to women until Allah revealed regarding them what He revealed regarding them and assigned for them what He has assigned.” [Sahih al Bukhari Book 65, Hadith 4913]
3. Umar ibn al Khattab would listen and help everyone, even when a young widow stopped him on his way.
Narrated Aslam:
Once I went with `Umar bin Al-Khattab to the market. A young woman followed Umar and said, "O chief of the believers! My husband has died, leaving little children. By Allah, they have not even a sheep's trotter to cook; they have no farms or animals. I am afraid that they may die because of hunger, and I am the daughter of Khufaf bin Ima Al-Ghafari, and my father witnessed the Pledge of allegiance) of Al-Hudaibiya with the Prophet.'
Umar stopped and did not proceed, and said, “I welcome my near relative.” Then he went towards a strong camel which was tied in the house, and carried on to it, two sacks he had loaded with food grains and put between them money and clothes and gave her its rope to hold and said, “Lead it, and this provision will not finish till Allah gives you a good supply.”
A man said, “O chief of the believers! You have given her too much.”
“`Umar said disapprovingly. “May your mother be bereaved of you! By Allah, I have seen her father and brother besieging a fort for a long time and conquering it, and then we were discussing what their shares they would have from that war booty.”
Reference : Sahih al-Bukhari 4160, 4161
4. Umar ibn al Khattab and Women who did zina forcefully.
a. A woman was brought to Umar, who was accused for zina, She said:
إني كنت نائمة فلم أستيقظ إلا برجل قد جثم علي فخلى سبيلها ولم يضربها
I was sleeping and woke up when he became dominant over me. So he (Umar) did not punish her. [al Albani said: Authentic in al Irwa al Ghaleel no. 2312]
b. It is narrated by al Bayhaqi
أتى عمر بن الخطاب رضى الله عنه بامرأة جهدها العطش فمرت على راع فاستسقت فأبى أن يسقيها إلا أن تمكنه من نفسها ففعلت فشاور الناس في رجمها فقال علي رضى الله عنه : هذه مضطرة أرى أن تخلي سبيلها ففعل
“‘A woman was brought to ‘Umar bin al Khattab May Allah be pleased with him who had been extremely thirsty, and had passed by a shepherd and asked him to give her something to drink; he had refused to give her something to drink unless she let him have his way with her. [‘Umar] consulted with the people as to whether he should have her stoned. ‘Ali May Allah be pleased with him said, ‘She was forced to do it, you should let her go.’ So he did so.” [Sunah al Bayhaqi ( 8 / 236 ). Shaykh al Albani said: “Authentic” in Irwa al Ghaleel 7/341 no. 2313, Islamqa]
c. Imam Bukhari said:
وقال الليث حدثني نافع أن صفية بنت أبي عبيد أخبرته أن عبدا من رقيق الإمارة وقع على وليدة من الخمس فاستكرهها حتى اقتضها فجلده عمر الحد ونفاه ولم يجلد الوليدة من أجل أنه استكرهها
“A governmental male-slave tried to seduce a slave-girl from the Khumus of the war booty till he deflowered her by force against her will; therefore ‘Umar flogged him according to the law, and exiled him, but he did not flog the female slave because the male-slave had committed illegal sexual intercourse by force, against her will.” [Sahih al-Bukhari 6949]
Ibn Hajr commented:
قوله : ( وقال الليث ) هو ابن سعد ( حدثني نافع ) هو مولى ابن عمر .
قوله : ( أن صفية بنت أبي عبيد أخبرته ) يعني الثقفية امرأة عبد الله بن عمر .
قوله : ( أن عبدا من رقيق الإمارة ) بكسر الألف أي من مال الخليفة وهو عمر .
قوله : ( وقع على وليدة من الخمس ) أي من مال خمس الغنيمة الذي يتعلق التصرف فيه بالإمام ، والمراد زنى بها
قوله : ( فاستكرهها حتى اقتضها ) بقاف وضاد معجمة مأخوذ من القضة وهي عذرة البكر ، وهذا يدل على أنها كانت بكرا .
قوله : ( فجلده عمر الحد ونفاه ) أي جلده خمسين جلدة ونفاه نصف سنة ، لأن حده نصف حد الحر ، ويستفاد منه أن عمر كان يرى أن الرقيق ينفى كالحر ، وقد تقدم البحث فيه في الحدود .
وقوله : ” لم يجلد الوليدة لأنه استكرهها ” لم أقف على اسم واحد منهما . وهذا الأثر وصله أبو القاسم البغوي عن العلاء بن موسى عن الليث بمثله سواء ، ووقع لي عاليا جدا بيني وبين صاحب الليث فيه سبعة أنفس بالسماع المتصل في أزيد من ستمائة سنة ، قرأته على محمد بن الحسن بن عبد الرحيم الدقاق عن أحمد بن نعمة سماعا أنبأنا أبو المنجا بن عمر أنبأنا أبو الوقت أنبأنا محمد بن عبد العزيز أنبأنا عبد الرحمن بن أبي شريح أنبأنا البغوي فذكره
(Layth) is Ibn Sa`d, (Naaf`e) is the freed slave of Ibn Umar.
(Safiyya bint ‘Ubaid) was wife of Abdullah bin Umar…
(Safiyya said the slave man deflowered the female slave by force) with Qaaf and Duaad, meaning broke her hymen, this is a proof that she was a virgin.
(‘Umar flogged him according to the law, and exiled him) He flogged him 50 times, and exiled him for 6 months because the punishment of slave is half of the free man. This is a proof that according to Umar ra, slave man will also be exiled like a free man, as it is mentioned already in Kitab al Hudood.
(he did not flog the female slave) I could not find their names,This athar is mentioned by Abul Qasim al Baghwi from al Ala bin Musa from Layth. This athar has reached me through very Aali chain that also with clear hearing and only eight people are between me and al Baghwi, even though he died more than 600 years before me. (Then he narrated this story through his chain). [Fath al Bari under the hadith 6949]
5. There is no diyah for would be rapist if a woman kills him.
Abdur Razzaq narrated:
17919 – عَنْ مَعْمَرٍ، عَنِ الزُّهْرِيِّ، عَنِ الْقَاسِمِ بْنِ مُحَمَّدٍ قَالَ: أَحْسِبُهُ عَنْ عُبَيْدِ بْنِ عُمَيْرٍ قَالَ: اسْتَضَافَ رَجُلٌ نَاسًا مِنْ هُذَيْلٍ، فَأَرْسَلُوا جَارِيَةً لَهُمْ تَحْتَطِبُ، فَأَعْجَبَتِ الضَّيْفَ فَتَبِعَهَا، فَأَرَادَهَا عَلَى نَفْسِهَا، فَامْتَنَعَتْ فَعَارَكَهَا سَاعَةً فَانْفَلَتَتْ مِنْهُ انْفِلَاتَةً، فَرَمَتْهُ بِحَجَرٍ، فَفَضَّتْ كَبِدَهُ فَمَاتَ، ثُمَّ جَاءَتْ إِلَى أَهْلِهَا، فَأَخْبَرَتْهُمْ فَذَهَبَ أَهْلُهَا إِلَى عُمَرَ، فَأَخْبَرُوهُ، فَأَرْسَلَ عُمَرُ، فَوَجَدَ آثَارَهُمَا، فَقَالَ عُمَرُ: «قَتِيلُ اللَّه لَا يُودَى أَبَدًا»، قَالَ الزُّهْرِيُّ: ثُمَّ قَضَتِ الْقُضَاةُ بَعْدُ بِأَنْ يُودَى
`Ubayd ibn `Umayr narrated that a man hosted some people from (the tribe of) Hudayl. They sent a slave woman to fetch some firewood and the host was attracted to her, so he followed her (into the woods) and wanted to have his way with her but she refused. He wrestled with her for a while, until she escaped from him and threw a rock at him and killed him. Her masters went to `Umar and informed him of the situation. `Umar sent investigators who found their tracks and thereafter `Umar said “ No diyah (or qisas – expiation in terms of blood money or etc) is to be paid for the one who was Killed by Allah”
He regarded self defense as a legitimate cause for the slave girl to have shed the blood of that aggressor who wanted to rape her so there would be no qisas or diyah and no expiation was to be offered [because she killed him out of self-defense]
Imam zuhri comments further that later on, all the muslim judges passed similar verdicts on similar instances following suit of umar’s judgement
[Ref: Musannaf abdur razzaq 9/434 H # 17919; Musannaf Ibn Abi Shaybah 5/439 H# 27793; among others. Scholars have opined rulings based on this under self defense such as in Haawiul Kabeer of the sha’fi madhab by Imam mawardi r.h 13/451 from the blog why the shariah]6. Umar ibn al Khattab and his punishment for the one who gives three divorces in one sitting.
Ibn ‘Abbas (Allah be pleased with them) reported that the (pronouncement) of three divorces during the lifetime of Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) and that of Abu Bakr and two years of the caliphate of Umar (Allah be pleased with him) (was treated) as one.But Umar b. Khattab (Allah be pleased with him) said: Verily the people have begun to hasten in the matter in which they are required to observe respite.So if we had imposed this upon them, and he imposed it upon them. (Sahih Muslim Book 9, Number 3491)
Ibn Hajar asqalani said:
وأخرج سعيد بن منصور عن أنس ” أن عمر كان إذا أتي برجل طلق امرأته ثلاثا أوجع ظهره ” وسنده صحيح
Saeed bin Mansoor mentioned from Anas that when someone was presented to Umar ra who gave three divorces to his wife, Umar would lash him on his back. Its chain is saheeh [Fath al Bari, Kitab at-Talaq chapter 3]
7. Umar ibn al Khattab and Pre-planned Halala
He said:
لا أوتى بمُحلِّل ولا مُحلَّل له إلا رجمتهما
“If the participants to Tahlil are brought to me, I will have them stoned.” [al Musannaf Ibn Abi Shayba, Kitab Radd al Abi Hanifa]
8. The Mahr of Umm Kulthum.
Ata al Khurasani said:
أن عمربن الخطاب أمهر أم كلثوم أربعين الفا.
40,000 was given to Umm Kulthum by Umar bin al Khattab as a Mahr.
[Tabqaat Ibn Saad 8/463-465, Declared Hasan by sh Zubair Ali Zai in Fatawa Ilmiyah 2/548, Ibn Kathir said its munqata and quoted another rout and said, its making the previous one powerful, Musnad al Farooq 1/392 ]9. Staying away from wife for more than six months?
The meaning of a narration is the following
Once Umar ibn al Khattab ra heard a woman at night saying: The night is long and its one part is black now. This made my heart cry that My Habeeb is not here with whom I play.
Umar ra asked his daughter Hafsa ra, How long can a woman do sabr with regards to her husband? she replied: six or four months, He said I will not stop my army more than this.
[Urdu translation of Tufatul Uroos by Mahmood Ahmad Istanbuli with the research of Hafiz Nadeem Zaheer page 201, he said about the narration: Hasan. al Musannaf Abdur Razzaq 1/150-151, al Muhalla by Ibn Hazm 10/40, Sunan al Kubra al Bayhaqi 9/29]10. Marrying the virgins.
Umar May Allah be pleased with him said:
حدثنا أبو بكر قال : نا أبو أسامة عن حماد بن زيد قال : نا عاصم قال عمر بن الخطاب : عليكم بالأبكار من النساء فإنهن أعذب أفواها وأصح أرحاما وأرضى باليسير .
‘Marry the (pious) virgins among the women, for their mouths are sweeter, their wombs are more prolific and they are satisfied with less. [al Musannaf Ibn Abi Shayba ( 7 / 72 / 1 ), Chain Authentic according to Shaykh al Albani in Silsilah as-Saheeha 2 / 192]
11 Marrying the daughters with religious good looking men.
As-Saffaareeni attributed to Umar ibn al Khattab said:
” لَا تُنْكِحُوا الْمَرْأَةَ الْقَبِيحَ الدَّمِيمَ فَإِنَّهُنَّ يُحْبِبْنَ لِأَنْفُسِهِنَّ مَا تُحِبُّونَ لِأَنْفُسِكُمْ”
“Do not make your women marry the ugly, unsightly man, for they love for themselves what you love for yourselves.” [Ibid]
It is mentioned in al Musannaf Abdul Razzaq, Umar ra said:
” يعمد أحدكم إلى بنته فيزوجها القبيح ، إنهن يحببن ما تحبون ”
When anyone of you knowingly marry your daughter with an ugly man, (even though) she likes what you like for yourself. [ مصنف عبدالرزاق: كتاب النكاح 6/158.]
12. The story of Umar ra and a woman whose children were hungry.
Imam Ahmad narrated:
Once, In a cold night Umar ra saw a woman who was trying to cook something and her little children were weeping, He said “Assalamu alikum O people of light. As he disliked to say O people of fire,
She replied (not knowing that he is ameer ul momineen): Wa alikum as-salam.
Umar asked: What happened to you? And why the children are weeping?
She said: Its a cold night and the children are hungry.
He asked what are you cooking?
she said: I am deceiving the children so that they may sleep. (i.e. she was just showing that food is going to be ready), ALLAH is in between us and UMAR.
He said: May Allah bless you, How could Umar know your situation?
She said: Umar is our Haakim and still do not know about us?
Umar said to his servant: Come with me, and they ran towards the store and took a sack of flour and other food, and said to his servant put this on me.
His servant said: I can take it, Umar replied, would you bear my weight on the day of judgment? Umar ran and took the food for that woman.
He helped the woman in cooking and feeding the children.
The woman said: You should be our leader apart from AMEER UL MONINEEN.
Umar said: when you meet Ameer ul momineen than you should say something good and talk to me there. Then he sat down and saw the children eating and playing, then the children slept.
Umar said: Hunger made them cry and they could not sleep because of that, I wanted to see this (i.e. playing and sleep of children) and I saw that.
[Fadail as-Sahaba of Imam Ahmad 1/290-292, Shaykh Wasi ullah Abbas said chain is Hasan, Sh Zubair Ali Zai said The narration is Hasan Lidhatihi Maqalaat 6/253]13. Umar ibn al Khattab and his justice for the Jew woman.
Ibn Hazam said in al Muhalla 8/341
رُوِّينَا مِنْ طَرِيقِ ابْنِ وَهْبٍ عَنْ عَمْرِو بْنِ الْحَارِثِ عَنْ سَعِيدِ بْنِ أَبِي هِلَالٍ: أَنَّ زَيْدَ بْنَ أَسْلَمَ حَدَّثَهُ أَنَّ يَهُودِيَّةً جَاءَتْ إلَى عُمَرَ بْنِ الْخَطَّابِ فَقَالَتْ: إنَّ ابْنِي هَلَكَ، فَزَعَمَتْ الْيَهُودُ أَنَّهُ لَا حَقَّ لِي فِي مِيرَاثِهِ؟ فَدَعَاهُمْ عُمَرُ فَقَالَ: “أَلَا تُعْطُونَ هَذِهِ حَقَّهَا؟” فَقَالُوا: لَا نَجِدُ لَهَا حَقًّا فِي كِتَابِنَا؟ فَقَالَ: “أَفِي التَّوْرَاةِ؟” قَالُوا: بَلَى، فِي الْمُثَنَّاةِ قَالَ: “وَمَا الْمُثَنَّاةُ؟” قَالُوا: كِتَابٌ كَتَبَهُ أَقْوَامٌ عُلَمَاءُ حُكَمَاءُ؟ فَسَبَّهُمْ عُمَرُ وَقَالَ: “اذْهَبُوا فَأَعْطُوهَا حَقَّهَا”
It is narrated from Zaid bin Aslam that a Jew Woman came to Umar ibn al Khattab complaining that, My son is no more and these Jews claim I have no right of Inheritance.
Umar asked the jews about the issue and they replied: We do not find her right in our book. Umar said: Is it in Torah? They said: no, rather in الْمُثَنَّاةِ, Umar said: what is الْمُثَنَّاةِ ?
They said: Our scholars and wise people wrote it. Umar censured them and said: Go and give her, her right.
[Its mentioned in the footnotes of Dr Salabi’s book on Umar ibn al Khattab page 277 that its in Mosuaat al Fiqh Umar ibn al Khattab page 725, Sunan al Bayhaqi 10/112]14. A Woman complaining about her husband in the court of Umar ibn al Khattab that he don’t spend night with me.
Ibn Hajr al Asqalani said about K`ab:
وبعثه عمر قاضيا على البصرة لخبر عجيب مشهور جرى له معه في امرأة شكت زوجها الى عمر فقالت ان زوجي يقوم الليل ويصوم النهار وانا أكره ان اشكوه إليك وهو يعمل بطاعة الله فكأن عمر لم يفهم عنها وكعب بن سور جالس معه فأخبره انها تشكو انها ليس لها من زوجها نصيب فأمره عمر بن الخطاب ان يقضي بينهما فقضى للمرأة بيوم من أربعة أيام أو ليلة من أربع ليال فسأله عمر عن ذلك فنزع بان الله تعالى أحل له أربع نسوة لا زيادة فلها ليلة من أربع ليال فأعجب ذلك عمر فاستقضاه
Umar made him the judge of Basra due to the strange incident. Once a woman came to Umar, complaining about her husband saying: My Husband do not sleep at night and fast in the day, I don’t like to complain about him as he is doing it in the worship of Allah. Umar did not get her question (i.e. what she is trying to say). He (Ka`b) was sitting with him and said: She is complaining that she is not getting her share (of spending night) from her husband. Umar ordered him to be a judge between them, So he decided that a Man should spend a day from four days and a night from four nights (for intercourse). Umar asked for the reason? He replied that A Man can marry four women, and (if he had four wives) she would get a night. Umar made him a judge as he was astonished by his answer. [al Isaba by Ibn Hajr, al Albani said: Authentic in al Irwa no. 2016]
15. The story of Umar and a Christian old woman.
al Qurtubi said:
والحجة لهذا القول ما رواه زيد بن أسلم عن أبيه قال : سمعت عمر بن الخطاب يقول لعجوز نصرانية : أسلمي أيتها العجوز تسلمي ، إن الله بعث محمدا بالحق . قالت : أنا عجوز كبيرة والموت إلي قريب! فقال عمر : اللهم اشهد ، وتلا لا إكراه في الدين .
The evidence of this saying is the narration of Zaid bin Asalm from his father who said: I heard Umar bin al Khattab said to an old christian woman: Accept Islam old one, For Allah sent Muhammad (peace be upon him) with truth. She said:
“I am an old woman and death is near at hand.” ‘Umar said, “O God, bear witness!” and recited, “There is no compulsion in religion.” [Tafsir al Qurtubi under al Baqarah verse 256]
16. Umar bin al Khattab made her his daughter in law due to her attitude.
Ibn Asakir narrated
أنبأنا أبو القاسم علي بن أحمد بن محمد بن بيان أنا عبد الملك بن محمد بن بشران أنا أبو بكر الآجري نا أبو سعيد الحسن بن علي الجصاص نا محمد بن عبد الله بن عبد الحكم بن أعين أخبرني قال نا عبد الله بن زيد بن أسلم عن أبيه عن
جده أسلم قال
بينا أنا مع عمر بن الخطاب رضي الله عنه وهو يعس بالمدينة إذ أعيا فاتكأ على جانب جدار في جوف الليل فإذا امرأة تقول لابنتها قومي إلى ذلك اللبن فامذقيه بالماء فقالت يا أمتاه وما علمت ما كان من عزمة أمير المؤمنين اليوم؟ قالت وما كان من عزمته؟
قالت إنه أمر مناديا فنادى لا يشاب اللبن بالماء فقالت لها يا ابنتاه قومي إلى اللبن فامذقيه بالماء فإنك في موضع لا يراك عمر ولا منادي عمر فقالت الصبية والله ما كنت لأطيعه في الملأ وأعصيه في الخلاء وعمر يسمع كل ذلك فقال يا أسلم علم الباب واعرف الموضع ثم مضى في عسه فلما أصبح قال يا أسلم امض إلى الموضع فانظر من القائلة ومن المقول لها وهل لهم من بعل فأتيت الموضع فإذا أيم لا بعل لها وإذا تيك أمها وإذا ليس لهم رجل فأتيت عمر بن الخطاب فأخبرته فدعا عمر ولده فجمعهم فقال هل فيكم من يحتاج إلى امرأة أزوجه ولو كان بأبيكم حركة إلى النساء ما سبقه منكم أحد إلى هذه الجارية فقال عبد الله لي زوجة وقال عبد الرحمن لي زوجة وقال عاصم يا أبتاه لا زوجة لي فزوجني فبعث إلى الجارية فزوجها من عاصم فولدت لعاصم بنتا وولدت الابنة ابنة وولدت الابنة عمر بن عبد العزيز [قال ابن عساكر] كذا قال والصحيح ما تقدم أن أم عاصم بنت عاصم لا بنت ابنته
Aslam said once Umar Ibn Al Khattab was patrolling the streets of Madinah with him making sure everyone was well. when he was tired, so he leaned on the side of a wall in the middle of the night.
They heard a woman saying to her daughter to add water to milk.
The daughter said, Ameer ul momineen announced no one should add water in the milk.
Mother said, “add water to the milk as Umar and the announcers can’t see you”
The daughters replied obediently saying: “O my mother, I am not going to obey him in public and disobey him in private.”
Umar heard all of that, After hearing this, Umar (ra) was deeply impressed. He ordered Aslam to mark the house so they could return later. And asked him to enquire more about the girl and her family. He discovered that the girl was not married and so was available, and that she lived alone with her widowed mother.
Umar’s son Abdullah and Abdur Rahman were already married but his son Asim agreed to marry her as he was not married yet. Soon, they were married. They had a daughter named Umm Asim who was mother of Umar Ibn Abdul ‘Azeez.
تاريخ مدينة دمشق – ابن عساكر – ج ٧٠ – الصفحة ٢٥٣
Taken from Islam ki betian by Muhammad Ishaq Bhatti under the biography of Umm Asim bint Asim pages 428,429
17. Umar bin al Khattab used to reconcile the fights between husband and wife.
1. عن ابن أبي عزرة الدؤلي ، وكان في خلافة عمر يخلع النساء التي يتزوجها ، فطار له في الناس من ذلك أحدوثة فكرهها ، فلما علم بذلك ، قام بعبد الله بن الأرقم حتى أدخله بيته ، فقال لامرأته ، وابن الأرقم يسمع : أنشدك بالله ، هل تبغضينني ؟ فقالت امرأته : لا تناشدني . قال : بلى . فقالت : اللهم نعم . فقال ابن أبي عزرة لعبد الله : أتسمع . ثم انطلق حتى أتى عمر ، ثم قال : يا أمير المؤمنين ، يحدثون أني أظلم النساء ، وأخلعهن ، فاسأل عبد الله بن الأرقم عما سمع من امرأتي ، فسأل عمر عبد الله ، فأخبره ، فأرسل عمر إلى امرأته ، فجاءت ، فقال لها : « أنت التي تحدثين زوجك أنك تبغضينه ؟ » ، قالت : يا أمير المؤمنين ، إني أول من تاب ، وراجع أمر الله ، إنه يا أمير المؤمنين أنشدني بالله ، فتحرجت أن أكذب ، أفأكذب يا أمير المؤمنين ؟ قال : « نعم ، فاكذبي ، فإن كانت إحداكن لا تحب أحدا ، فلا تحدثه بذلك ، فإن أقل البيوت الذي يبنى على الحب ، ولكن الناس يتعاشرون بالإسلام ، والإحسان
In the caliphate of Umar bin al Khattab, it became famous that (a man named) Ibn abi Arza would leave the women he marry, he didn’t like that when he came to know about it. He (Ibn abi azra) took Abdullah bin Arqam to his house (so that he may know why he is going to leave his wife). He asked his wife I give you qasam of Allah, tell me do you hate me? She said don’t give me qasam but yes I hate you.
Ibn abi Azra said to Abdullah bin Arqam, did you hear that? Then he went to Umar and said: O ameer ul momineen these people claim that I do dhulm on women and leave them. You can ask Abdullah bin Arqam about what he heard from my wife? Abdullah told him, Umar sent a message to his wife to come here. She came and Umar asked, are you the one who says I hate my husband?
She replied O ameer ul momineen I am the first to repent and go back to the order of Allah. He gave me qasam of Allah and I didn’t find it appropriate to lie. Should I lie? Umar said yes, you could lie. If you (husband and wife) don’t like each other don’t tell this to other. There are few homes which are based on (true) love and likings. The homes are based on Islam and Ihsan.
(صحح هذا الأثر الشيخ حاتم بن عارف العوني – حفظه الله – و قال :أخرجه البخاري في التاريخ الكبير مختصراً: (4/152)، والفسوى والمعرفة والتاريخ (1/392)،وابن جرير الطبري في تهذيب الآثار: مسند علي بن أبي طالب –رضي الله عنه-: (142)رقم (236)
Another narration states:
قال عمر رضي الله عنه لرجل همّ بطلاق امرأته: لمَ تطلقها ؟
قال: لا أحبّها .
قال: أوكل البيوت بنيت على الحب ، وأين الرعاية
والتذّمم ؟!!
‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said to a man who wanted to divorce his wife: Why do you want to divorce her?
He said: I do not love her.
He said: Are all families based on love only? What about care and decency? (‘Uyuun al-Akhbaar, 3/18).
18. When Umar bin al Khattab radhiAllahanho tried to arrange a marriage of zani boy and a girl.
Imam Abu Obaid Qasim bin Salam said:
”حدثنا سفيان بن عيينة عن عبيد الله بن أبي يزيد عن أبيه : أن غلاما فجر بجارية، فسئلا؟ فاعترفا، فجلدهما عمر بن الخطاب ثم حرص أن يجمع بينهما فأبى الغلام“
Abu Zaid makki said a boy did zina with a girl. They were investigated and both of them agreed. Umar bin al Khattab punished them with lashes and then tried to arrange their marriage but the boy rejected.
[الناسخ والمنسوخ لابی عبید 1/ 102 وإسناده صحيح أبويزيد ثقه وتابعه سباع بن ثابت عند عبد الرزاق رقم 12793]Ibn Hazm rightly said
”أول من تهون الزانية في عينه فالذي يزني بها“
”The person from whose grace a zānī woman falls first is the one who did zinā with her.”
[رسائل ابن حزم 1/ 349]A man mostly reject the woman for marriage who did zina with him.
19. Asma bint Umais vs Umar ibn al Khattab
Asma’ bint ‘Umais who had migrated to Abyssinia and had come back along with immigrants visited Hafsa, the wife of Allah’s Apostle (Peace be upon him).
(Accordingly), Umar had been sitting with her (Hafsa). As ‘Umar saw Asma, he said: Who is she? She (Hafsa) said: She is Asma, daughter of ‘Umais.
He said: She is an Abyssinian and a sea-woman.
Asma said: Yes, it is so.
Thereupon ‘Umar said: We preceded you in migration and so we have more right to Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) as compared with you.
At this she felt annoyed and said: ‘Umar, you are not stating the fact; by Allah, you had the privilege of being in the company of the Messenger (peace be upon him) who fed the hungry among you and instructed the ignorant amongst you, whereas we had been far (from here) in the land of Abyssinia amongst the enemies and that was all for Allah and Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) and, by Allah, I would never take food nor take water unless I make a mention to Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) of what you have said. We remained in that country in constant trouble and dread and I shall talk about it to Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) and ask him (about it). By Allah, I shall not tell a lie and deviate (from the truth) and add anything to that.
So, when Allah’s Apostle (peace be upon him) came, she said: Allah’s Apostle, ‘Umar says so and so.
Upon this Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) said: His right is not more than yours, for him and his companions there is one migration, but for you, i. e. for the people of the boat, there are two migrations.
She said: I saw Abu Musa and the people of the boat coming to me in groups and asking me about this hadith, because there was nothing more pleasing and more significant for them than this.
Abu Burda reported that Asma said: I saw Abu Musa, asking me to repeat this hadith to him again and again. [Sahih Muslim 2502, 2503]
SubhanAllah what a beautiful answer and how the Prophet peace be upon him agreed with her and how the giants of knowledge like Abu Musa asked her to repeat it again and again.
20. Wife of Umar ibn al Khattab kissed his forehead.
، أَنَّ عَاتِكَةَ ابْنَةَ زَيْدِ بْنِ عَمْرِو بْنِ نُفَيْلٍ، – امْرَأَةَ عُمَرَ بْنِ الْخَطَّابِ – كَانَتْ تُقَبِّلُ رَأْسَ عُمَرَ بْنِ الْخَطَّابِ وَهُوَ صَائِمٌ فَلاَ يَنْهَاهَا .
Atika bint Zayd ibn Amr ibn Nufayl, the wife of Umar ibn al-Khattab, used to kiss Umar ibn al-Khattab’s head while he was fasting, and he did not tell her not to.
Muwatta Maalik: Book 18, Hadith 15
21. When Umar kissed his wife while he was fasting.
It was narrated that Umar bin al-Khattab said:
عَنْ عُمَرَ بْنِ الْخَطَّابِ، رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ قَالَ هَشَشْتُ يَوْمًا فَقَبَّلْتُ وَأَنَا صَائِمٌ فَأَتَيْتُ النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَقُلْتُ صَنَعْتُ الْيَوْمَ أَمْرًا عَظِيمًا فَقَبَّلْتُ وَأَنَا صَائِمٌ فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ أَرَأَيْتَ لَوْ تَمَضْمَضْتَ بِمَاءٍ وَأَنْتَ صَائِمٌ قُلْتُ لَا بَأْسَ بِذَلِكَ فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَفِيمَ.
I was in good spirits one day and kissed (my wife) when I was fasting. I came to the Prophet ﷺ and said: I have done something serious. I kissed (my wife) when I was fasting. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “What do you think if you rinse your mouth with water when you are fasting?` I said: There is nothing wrong with it. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “Then why (are you worried)?`
Grade: Sahih (Darussalam)
Reference : Musnad Ahmad 138
22. If someone drank wife’s milk, he does not become her son.
Abdullah ibn Dinar said, “A man came to Abdullah ibn Umar when I was with him at the place where judgments were given and asked him about the suckling of an older person. Abdullah ibn Umar replied, ‘A man came to Umar ibn al-Khattab and said, ‘I have a slave-girl and I used to have intercourse with her. My wife went to her and suckled her. When I went to the girl, my wife told me to watch out, because she had suckled her!’ Umar told him to discipline his wife and to go to his slave-girl because kinship by suckling was only by the suckling of the young.’ ”
Maalik’s Muwatta Book 30, Hadith 14
There are some other reports from the Sahabah, such as that narrated from Abu ‘Atiyah al-Wadi’i, who said: “A man came to Ibn Mas’ud and said: ‘My wife was with me and her breasts were full of milk (she was engorged). I began to suck it and spit it out. Then I came to Abu Musa.’ He (Ibn Mas’ud) said, ‘What did you tell him?’ So he (Abu Musa) told him what he had told him. Then Ibn Mas’ud stood up, took the man’s hand (and said), ‘Do you think this is an infant? Breastfeeding is what produces the growth of flesh and blood.’ Abu Musa said: ‘Do not ask me anything when this scholar is among you.’” (Reported by ‘Abd al-Razzaq in al-Musannaf, 7/463, no. 13895).
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Salih al-‘Uthaymin was asked about this matter, and he replied:
“Breastfeeding a grown-up has no effect, because the breastfeeding which has an effect (of creating the relationship of mahram) is that which consists of five feedings or more within the first two years, before weaning.
On this basis, if it happened that someone breastfed from his wife or drank her milk, he does not become her son.” (Fatawa Islamiyyah, 3/338 islamqa)
23. Umar would not stop his wife to go to Masjid.
عَنْ عَاتِكَةَ بِنْتِ زَيْدِ بْنِ عَمْرِو بْنِ نُفَيْلٍ، امْرَأَةِ عُمَرَ بْنِ الْخَطَّابِ أَنَّهَا كَانَتْ تَسْتَأْذِنُ عُمَرَ بْنَ الْخَطَّابِ إِلَى الْمَسْجِدِ فَيَسْكُتُ فَتَقُولُ وَاللَّهِ لأَخْرُجَنَّ إِلاَّ أَنْ تَمْنَعَنِي . فَلاَ يَمْنَعُهَا
Atika bint Zayd ibn Amr ibn Nufayl, the wife of Umar ibn al-Khattab, used to ask Umar ibn al-Khattab for permission to go to the mosque. He would keep silent, so she would say, “By Allah, I will go out, unless you forbid me,” and he would not forbid her.
.
Muwatta Imam Maalik : Book 14, Hadith 14
24. Taking care of elderly women.
Narrated Tha`laba bin Abi Malik:
`Umar bin Al-Khattab distributed some garments amongst the women of Medina. One good garment remained, and one of those present with him said, “O chief of the believers! Give this garment to your wife, the (grand) daughter of Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ).” They meant Um Kulthum, the daughter of `Ali. `Umar said, Um Salit has more right (to have it).” Um Salit was amongst those Ansari women who had given the pledge of allegiance to Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ).’ `Umar said, “She (i.e. Um Salit) used to carry the water skins for us on the day of Uhud.
Sahih al-Bukhari 2881
Note: Um Salit was mother of Abu Saeed al Khudri, her husband Abu Salit died and then she Married Maalik bin Sinan al Khudri who was father of Abu Saeed Al Khudri.
25. When Umar became worried and thought intimation is not allowed in such a way.
Narrated Ibn ‘Abbas:
عَنِ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ، قَالَ جَاءَ عُمَرُ إِلَى رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَقَالَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ هَلَكْتُ قَالَ ” وَمَا أَهْلَكَكَ ” . قَالَ حَوَّلْتُ رَحْلِي اللَّيْلَةَ . قَالَ فَلَمْ يَرُدَّ عَلَيْهِ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم شَيْئًا قَالَ فَأَنْزَلَ اللَّهُ عَلَى رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم هَذِهِ الآيَةَ : (نِسَاؤُكُمْ حَرْثٌ لَكُمْ فَأْتُوا حَرْثَكُمْ أَنَّى شِئْتُمْ ) أَقْبِلْ وَأَدْبِرْ وَاتَّقِ الدُّبُرَ وَالْحِيضَةَ . قَالَ أَبُو عِيسَى هَذَا حَدِيثٌ حَسَنٌ غَرِيبٌ وَيَعْقُوبُ بْنُ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ الأَشْعَرِيُّ هُوَ يَعْقُوبُ الْقُمِّيُّ .
“‘Umar came to the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) and said: ‘O Messenger of Allah! I am ruined!’ He said: ‘Why are you ruined?’ He said: ‘I turned my mount during the night (meaning that he went into his wife from behind).'” He said: “So the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) did not say anything in reply to him. Then Allah revealed this Ayah to the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ): ‘Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth when or how you will (2:223).’ From the front, the back, avoiding the anus, and menstruation.”
Grade: Hasan (Darussalam)
Reference : Jami` at-Tirmidhi 2980