Flirting with your wife while fasting.
1. Amma Aisha’s advice to be a romantic husband even while fasting.
Abu’n-Nadr, the mawla of Umar ibn Ubaydullah said that :
A’isha bint Talha told him that she was once with A’isha, the wife of the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and her husband, who was fasting, came and visited her there. (He was Abdullah ibn Abd ar-Rahman ibn Abi Bakras-Siddiq.) A’isha said to him, “What’s stopping you from coming close to your wife and kissing her and joking with her?” He said, “Can I kiss her when I am fasting?” She said, “Yes.”
Maalik’s Muwatta : Book 18, Hadith 16
2. Second narration of Sayyidah Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her)
She narrated:
كان يباشر و هو صائم، ثم يجعل بينه و بينها ثوبا. يعني الفرج
He (peace be upon him) would lie down with her while he was fasting and would place a cloth between himself and her (private parts).
(Silsilah ahadeeth al Saheeha 1/385 no. 221)
Shaykh al Albani said:
و قد علقه البخاري (4/ 120 بصيغة الجزم: ” باب المباشرة للصائم، و قالت عائشة رضي الله عنها: يحرم عليه فرجها “.
And Al-Bukhari (4/120) has mentioned it in a definitive manner: “The Chapter on Initiating Sexual Intercourse for the One Fasting,” and Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, said: “His private parts are forbidden to him.”
(Silsilah ahadeeth al Saheeha 1/385)
3. Third narration from Aisha radhiAllahanha.
Hafiz Ibn Hajr al asqalani commented:
عَنْ حَكِيمِ بْنِ عِقَالٍ قَالَ سَأَلْتُ عَائِشَةَ مَا يَحْرُمُ عَلَيَّ مِنِ امْرَأَتِي وَأَنَا صَائِمٌ قَالَتْ فَرْجُهَا إِسْنَادُهُ إِلَى حَكِيمٍ صَحِيحٌ
Hakim bin ‘Aqil said, i asked ‘Aisha: What is forbidden to me from my wife while I am fasting?
She replied: Her private part. (Ibn Hajr commented) the chain upto Hakeem is authentic.
(Fath al Bari, Shaykh al Albani said, narrated by at Tahawi 1/347 with an authentic chain of narrators. Silsilah ahadeeth al Saheeha no. 221)
4. Fourth narration from Aisha radhiAllahanha.
Ibn Hajr said:
وَيُؤَدِّي مَعْنَاهُ أَيْضًا مَا رَوَاهُ عَبْدُ الرَّزَّاقِ بِإِسْنَادٍ صَحِيحٍ عَنْ مَسْرُوقٍ سَأَلْتُ عَائِشَةَ مَا يَحِلُّ لِلرَّجُلِ مِنِ امْرَأَتِهِ صَائِمًا قَالَتْ كُلُّ شَيْءٍ إِلَّا الْجِمَاعَ
Its meaning is also conveyed in what Abdur Razzaq narrated with a sound chain of transmission from Masruq. He said, I asked Aisha, ‘What is permissible for a man from his wife while he is fasting?’ She said, ‘Everything except intercourse.’
(Fath al Bari, quoted by Shaykh al Albani in Silsilah ahadeeth al Saheeha no. 221)
5. The narration of Ibn Abbas radhiAllahanho.
al Albani said:
ثم ذكر ابن حزم عن سعيد بن جبير أن رجلا قال لابن عباس: إني تزوجت ابنة عم لي جميلة، فبني بي في رمضان، فهل لي – بأبي أنت و أمي – إلى قبلتها من سبيل؟ فقال له ابن عباس: هل تملك نفسك؟ قال: نعم، قال: قبل، قال: فبأبي أنت و أمي هل إلى مباشرتها من سبيل؟! قال: هل تملك نفسك؟ قال: نعم، قال: فباشرها، قال: فهل لي أن أضرب بيدي على فرجها من سبيل؟ قال: و هل تملك نفسك
؟ قال: نعم، قال: اضرب.
قال ابن حزم: ” و هذه أصح طريق عن ابن عباس
Ibn Hazm narrated from Saeed bin Jubair that a person asked Ibn Abbas, “I have married my paternal cousin who is beautiful, and I consummated the marriage in Ramadan.
May my mother and father be sacrificed for you.
Can I kiss her?” Ibn Abbas asked, “Do you have control over yourself?” He replied, “Yes, absolutely.” He said, “You can kiss her.”
He then asked, “Can I lie with her?” He said, “Do you have control?” He said, “Yes.” He said, “You can lie with her.”
He asked, “Can I strike/touch her private part with my hand ?” Ibn Abbas asked, “Do you have control?” He replied, “Yes.” He said, “You can do it.”
Ibn Hazm said: “And this is the most correct narration from Ibn Abbas.”
(Silsilah ahadeeth al Saheeha no. 221)
6 , 7. The narration of Sad bin abi waqas and Ibn Masood.
Then shaykh al Albani continues:
قال: ” ومن طريق صحاح عن سعد بن أبي وقاص أنه سئل أتقبل وأنت صائم؟
قال: نعم، وأقبض على متاعها، وعن عمرو بن شرحبيل أن ابن مسعود كان يباشر
امرأته نصف النهار وهو صائم. وهذه أصح طريق عن ابن مسعود “.
قلت: أثر ابن مسعود هذا أخرجه ابن أبي شيبة (2 / 167 / 2) بسند صحيح على شرطهما، وأثر سعد هو عنده بلفظ ” قال: نعم وآخذ بجهازها. وسنده صحيح على شرط مسلم، وأثر ابن عباس عنده أيضا ولكنه مختصر بلفظ:
” فرخص له في القبلة والمباشرة ووضع اليد ما لم يعده إلى غيره “. وسنده صحيح على شرط البخاري.
He (Ibn Hazm) said: “And through a reliable source from Sa’d bin Abi Waqqas, he was asked, ‘Do you kiss while fasting?’ He replied, ‘: “Yes, and I also grab by their private parts.”
And from Amr bin Sharahbeel that Ibn Mas’ud used to have intimate relations with his wife during the daytime while fasting. And this is the most authentic narration from Ibn Mas’ud.”
I (al Albani) say: This narration from Ibn Mas’ud was reported by Ibn Abi Shaybah with a sound chain.. and the narration from Sa’d is with the wording “He said: Yes, and I grab with private parts.” And its chain is authentic according to the conditions of Muslim.
And the narration from Ibn Abbas..with the wording: “He permitted him to kiss, have intimate relations, and touch with hands..” And its chain is authentic according to the conditions of Bukhari.
Silsilah ahadeeth al Saheeha no. 221
There are various other narrations on this topic.
Note : If you don’t have control over your desires then it is better to stay away as Prophet peace be upon him didn’t allow a young man to do it as he (peace be upon him) feared he will break his fast by sexual intimacy.
P.s . The post is for married people, don’t start flirting before marriage.