Some beautiful quotes by Imam Ibn Hibban from his book روضة العقلاء .
1. Finding faults in others.
Ibn Hibban said:
الواجب على العاقل لزوم السلامة بترك التجسس عَن عيوب الناس مع الاشتغال بإصلاح عيوب نفسه فإن من اشتغل بعيوبه عَن عيوب غيره أراح بدنه ولم يتعب قلبه فكلما اطلع على عيب لنفسه هان عَلَيْهِ مَا يرى مثله من أخيه وإن من اشتغل بعيوب الناس عَن عيوب نفسه عمى قلبه وتعب بدنه وتعذر عَلَيْهِ ترك عيوب نفسه وإن من أعجز الناس من عاب الناس بما فيهم وأعجز منه من عابهم بما فيه من عاب الناس عابوه
It is an obligation on everyone who has intellect that he should refrain himself from finding faults of others, and try to correct his own faults. Indeed the one who is busy in correcting his own faults rather than others. His body feels comfort and his heart is at ease. When he finds a fault in him and same fault is in others, then he will not see the fault of others as great. But when someone keeps himself busy to find the faults of others, his heart becomes blind and body becomes restless. He tries to find excuse for his own faults.
[روضة العقلاء by Ibn Hibban page 125]2. Spying.
Then he said:
التجسس من شعب النفاق كما أن حسن الظن من شعب الإيمان والعاقل يحسن الظن بإخوانه وينفرد بغمومه وأحزانه كما أن الجاهل يسيء الظن بإخوانه ولا يفكر في جناياته وأشجانه
Spying is a type of hypocrisy likewise thinking good (of your brother) is type of Imaan. A Wise person is the one who thinks good of his brother and shares his sadness. The Ignorant is the one who think bad of his brother and do not pay heed on his sadness.
[روضة العقلاء by Ibn Hibban page 126]3. Winning people’s heart
Ibn Hibban said:
الواجب على العاقل أن يستميل قلوب الناس إليه بالمزاح وترك التعبس
It is an obligation on a wise man to win the hearts of people with good humor and leave sulking ( morose, and bad-tempered out of annoyance).
روضة العقلاء: 766
4. Fights between Husband and Wife
Ibn Hibban narrated in the same book from Abu al-Dardā (may Allāh be pleased with him) who said to his wife Umm al Darda (may Allāh be pleased with her):
أَنْبَأَنَا الْحَسَنُ بْنُ سفيان حدثنا إبراهيم الْحَوْرَانِيِّ حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو مُسْهِرٍ حَدَّثَنَا سَهْلُ بْنُ هَاشِمٍ عَنْ إِبْرَاهِيمَ بْنِ أَدْهَمَ قَالَ قَالَ أَبُو الدَّرْدَاءِ لأُمِّ الدَّرْدَاءِ إِذَا غَضِبْتُ فرضيني وإذا غضبت رضيتك فإذا لم نكن هكذا ما أَسْرَعَ مَا نَفتَرِقُ
“If I get angry then please me, and if you get angry I will please you, as if we are not like this, we will separate quickly.”
[روضة العقلاء 1/72]