1. Dua against the one who was beating wife.
2. Command on how to treat the wives.
3. Women of this world will outnumber men in Paradise.
4. If a Man is able to look at what will induce him to marry a woman, he should do so.
5. Consent of a Virgin for her marriage.
6. Women are partners of Men.
7. Compassion Towards Women And Command To Treat Them Kindly.
8. Women are Sensitive.
9. Allah enjoins you to treat your mothers kindly.
10. Women are Helpers of Men.
11. Those who gave most in charity were the women on Eid day.
12. Misuse of the hadith ” I would have ordered women to prostrate themselves before their husbands”
13. The meaning of a hadith regarding bad omen in women.
14. Pious women have barakah / khayr i.e. Good Fortune.
15. Meaning of witness of a woman equal to half of that of a man.
16. Deficiency of a woman’s mind.
17. How the Prophet peace be upon him treated Aisha May Allah be pleased with her when she started her monthly cycle (related to above hadith).
18. Memory of Umm Hisham bint Haritha (Related to above hadith).
19. When Asma bint Umais won the discussion from Umar bin al Khattab
20. Intelligence of Subaia bint Al-Harith and Prophet’s (peace be upon him) verdict in her favor.
21. Discussion between Men and women.
22. When the Prophet peace be upon him said: “O People”, It included men and women unless it was specified.
23. Rights of women to know about Islam.
24. The Prophet peace be upon him did not return the women to kuffar in Hudaibiya treaty.
25. Putting perfume for women after taking a Bath of menses.
26. To the kuffar who claim the Prophet peace be upon him wanted to marry women of his choice as much as he wanted.
27. Non combatants are not to be killed purposely even if he/she may be a zaani or faasiq.
28. Being suspicious about the wives, The best Teacher, Prophet peace be upon him.
29. To those who always argue about Men vs Women.
30. The Question to the Prophet peace be upon him: “Why is it that women are not mentioned in the Quran like men”
31. Loving pious Women and Children for the sake of Allah.
32. Marrying a man who is harsh against women.
33. The rights of Orphan and Women.
34. No shyness in asking questions about intimacy
35. Giving the wife right of intimacy and kind treatment.
36. Your wife is one of those for whom you are responsible.
37. Do not hate believing women.
38. The point of nearness between Prophet peace be upon him and the one who brought up three, two or even one girl properly.
39. Women will get whatever they desire in jannah.
40. Divorcing women after finishing the need and not giving her mahr.
41. I would have given precedence to women over men.
42. Do not cheat your wives.
43. A Loving wife is a woman of paradise.
44. Al Irbaad bin Saariyah went straight to his wife after hearing a hadith
45. You will be asked about your wife on the day of judgment.
46. The righteous women
47. Sexual intercourse during monthly cycle and through her anus.
48. If a husband invites his wife to bed and what if husband is not fulfilling her desires.
49. The best of you is the one who is best to his wife.
50. When a woman servant stood against Pharaoh.
51. Honor of a Muslim woman.
52. The torture pharaoh gave to one of the best woman of this world, Aasiya aliyha as Salam.
53. What if the guardian is preventing the woman to marry the suitor of her choice who is suitable for her, and forcing her to marry the man of his interest?
54. An interesting narration about a marriage where a girl was not willing to Marry Ibn Umar.
55. Daughters are protection from fire for the parents.
56. When a black slave woman was accused of stealing and she accepted Islam due to vulgar behavior of polytheists.
57. Meeting Allah without any sin.
58. Do the solar and the lunar eclipses have any kind of impact on a pregnant woman or on her child?
59. A woman can present herself to a righteous man (for marriage)
60. Wearing perfume for women after taking a Bath of menses.
61. A sahabi who asked Prophet peace be upon him to marry his friend from the days of Jahiliyah.
62. I wanted women to know their fathers have no right to marry their daughters against their will.
63. BUT I WANTED TO KNOW WHETHER THE WOMEN HAVE ANY SAY IN THIS MATTER.
64. HE ANNULLED THE MARRIAGE ARRANGED BY HER FATHER.
65. the Prophet (ﷺ) allowed her to exercise her choice.
66. In man’s sexual Intercourse with his wife there is a Sadaqa.
67. Sexual intercourse in Ramadan.
68. Marrying a virgin and playing with her.
69. The Prophet Peace be upon him advised Ali about Sayyedah Fatimah
70. Playing with wife is rewardable act
71. If Aisha is not invited to the feast, then I will not go.
72. Divorcing 3 times in one sitting is prohibited.
73. Preplanned Halala (Nikah al Tahleel) is haram.
74. Sexual weakness and taking medicines
75. Peaceful Arguments between husband and wife.
76. When a husband do not spend reasonable on wife and children.
77. A woman is a shaheed when she dies while giving a birth.
78. How innocent were the acts of Sahabiyat. May Allah be pleased with them.
79. When Islam stopped prostitution business of Abdullah bin Ubayy, he started forcing and beating his slave girls for that.
80. Obeying husband is required only in obedience to Allah otherwise there is no obedience.
81. Daughters are precious.
82. Killing the women in the war
83. Preferring sons over daughters
84. Giving nicknames to wife.
85. Don’t be ungrateful wife.
86. Prophet peace be upon him making Aisha laugh.
87. When Prophet peace be upon him saw a man who kissed his son and left his daughter.
88.Husband wife fights and happiness of Iblis.
89. Cute moments of Prophet peace be upon him with Zainab bint Umm ul Momineen Umm Salamah.
90. A prostitute was forgiven due to her good treatment to a dog
91. a woman went to hell because of her bad treatment to a cat.
92. Paradise lies beneath her feet and doing jihad without the consent if parents.
93. Funny: When a boy beautified himself for stranger women and Prophet peace be upon him caught him.
94. From enemy of Islam to Umm ul Momineen.
95. Prophet peace be upon him honored women and indicated that men should wait in masjid until the women leave.
96. Oppressing, beating, harming pious women and men is haram.
97. When Aisha radhiAllahanha laughed with happiness on the dua of prophet peace be upon him for her.
98. Maternal aunt and mothers
99. A woman or a man who prays but harms a neighbor.
100. A black sahabiya who was given glad tidings of paradise and some other pious black women.
101. Merit of a woman who had problem in her mentality
102. When a wife hates her husband and the husband loves her.
103. Marrying an immoral woman specially if a man is unable to live without her due to his love.
104. Umm Zar’ praising her husband Abu Zar’
105. The woman who took care of her orphan
106. The woman who refused 100 dinars from her lover and reminded him of Allah instead.
107. The testimony of women that the Messenger of Allah peace be upon him was the most merciful toward them.
108. The power of Dua by Sara aleh salam
109. Ash-Shifa taught writing to Hafsa.
110. Testimony of a black woman and Uqba bin Amir
111. Virtues of Abu ad-Dahdah and Umm Dahdah
112. When Allah listened complaint of Khawla against her husband.
113. Durrah the daughter of Abu Lahab.
114. A woman who disputed with her husband about the child.
115. A husband should be easy going with his wife.
1. Dua against the one who was beating wife.
Ali (radiallahanhu), said:
رَأَيْتُ امْرَأَةَ الْوَلِيدِ جَاءَتْ إِلَى النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ تَشْكُو إِلَيْهِ زَوْجَهَا أَنَّهُ يَضْرِبُهَا ، فَقَالَ لَهَا : ” اذْهَبِي فَقُولِي لَهُ : كَيْتَ وَكَيْتَ ” . فَذَهَبَتْ ثُمَّ رَجَعَتْ ، فَقَالَتْ : إِنَّهُ عَادَ يَضْرِبُنِي ، فَقَالَ لَهَا : ” اذْهَبِي فَقُولِي لَهُ : إِنَّ النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يَقُولُ لَكَ ” , فَذَهَبَتْ ثُمَّ عَادَتْ , فَقَالَتْ : إِنَّهُ يَضْرِبُنِي فَقَالَ : ” اذْهَبِي فَقُولِي لَهُ : كَيْتَ وَكَيْتَ ” ، فَقَالَتْ : إِنَّهُ يَضْرِبُنِي فَرَفَعَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يَدَهُ وَقَالَ : ” اللَّهُمَّ عَلَيْكَ بِالْوَلِيدِ ”
I saw the wife of Waleed bin Uqbah, she came to the prophet (peace be upon him), she was complaining about her husband that he beats her, so He (peace be upon him) said: go back! And tell him these things, she went, came back, and said, He is beating her again, so he said: go to him, and tell him that, “Verily the prophet is telling you (not to beat your wife) thus she went, and came back again, and said, He still beats me, so He (pbuh) said, go and tell him these things, she said, Certainly he beats me, so the messenger of Allah (pace be upon him) raised his hands and prayed (to Allah) saying, “O Allah! Punish Al-Waleed”
Shaykh ul Arab wal Ajam Badi ud din Shah Sindhee taking class of men.
He said:
🍃 – *”عورتوں کے ساتھ جو بے جا سختی کرتے ہیں اسلام نے اس سے بھی روکا ہے، ہم نے دیکھا ہے کہ ذرا ذرا سی بات پر لوگ اپنی عورتوں کو گالیاں دیتے ہیں، جھڑکتے ہیں، مارتے ہیں، خود گالیاں دے کر ان کو بدزبان اور بے حیا بناتے ہیں، پھر عورتوں میں بھی سرکشی آ جاتی ہے، وہ بھی نافرمانی کرنے لگتی ہیں، وہ بھی آگے سے ترکی بہ ترکی جواب دیتی ہیں، تو اس کا سبب کون بنا، مرد بنے، کیونکہ نہ وہ ایسا سلوک کرتے نہ ان میں سرکشی پیدا ہوتی۔“*
Islam also forbids unnecessarily severe (treatment) with women. We have seen that people abuse their women on small things fight them and beat them. They make them abusive and (sometimes even) vulgar by insulting them themselves. Then rebellion comes in women too and they start disobeying, and countering them. Who is responsible for this? (Obviously) Men.
📚 [ شیخ العرب والعجم سید بدیع الدین شاہ راشدی رَحِمَهُ ٱللَّٰهُ,|| اسلام میں عورت کا مقام : ٤٨ ]
2. Command on how to treat the wives.
Muawiyah al Qarshi said I went to the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) and asked him: What do you say (command) about our wives? He replied: Give them food what you have for yourself, and clothe them by which you clothe yourself, and do not beat them, and do not revile them. (Abu Dawud Book 11, Number 2139)
Ibn Uthaymeen said:
ثم اعلم أن معاملتك لزوجتك يجب أن تقدر كأن رجلاً زوجاً لابنتك، كيف يعاملها؟ فهل ترضى أن يعاملها بالجفاء والقسوة؟ الجواب: لا، إذاً لا ترضى أن تعامل بنت الناس بما لا ترضى أن تعَامَل به ابنتك، وهذه قاعدة ينبغي أن يعرفها كل إنسان.
In short roughly, Treat your wife the way you want your daughter to be treated. Do you want that Husband of your daughter treat her with cruelty? NO. [Ash-Sharh Al-Mumti (12/381)]
3. Women of this world will outnumber men in Paradise.
Abu Huraira said:
النساء أكثر من الرجال في
الجنة، فنظر عمر بن الخطاب إلى القوم فقال: ألا تسمعون ما يقول أبو هريرة؟
فقال أبو هريرة سمعت رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم يقول في أول زمرة تدخل
الجنة: وجوههم كالقمر ليلة البدر، والثانية كأضواء كوكب في السماء، ولكل
واحد منهم زوجتان يرى مخ سوقهما من وراء اللحم، وليس في الجنة عزب “.
WOMEN ARE MORE THAN MEN IN JANNAH, Umar bin al Khattab saw the people and said: Ddid you hear what Abu Huraira said?, Then Abu Huraira said: I heard the The Prophet (peace be upon him) saying, “The first batch (of people) who will enter Paradise will be (glittering) like the full moon, and the batch next to them will be (glittering) like the most brilliant star in the sky. everyone will have two wives (who will be so beautiful, pure and transparent that) the marrow of the bones of their legs will be seen through the bones and the flesh.” [Silsilah Ahadeeth as-Saheeha no: 2006]
Ibn Hajar al Asqalani said:
واستدل أبو هريرة بهذا الحديث على أن النساء في الجنة أكثر من الرجال كما أخرجه مسلم من طريق بن سيرين عنه وهو واضح لكن يعارضه قوله صلى الله عليه و سلم في حديث الكسوف المتقدم رأيتكن أكثر أهل النار ويجاب بأنه لا يلزم من أكثريتهن في النار نفى أكثريتهن في الجنة لكن يشكل على ذلك قوله صلى الله عليه و سلم في الحديث الآخر اطلعت في الجنة فرأيت أقل ساكنها النساء ويحتمل أن يكون الراوي رواه بالمعنى الذي فهمه من أن كونهن أكثر ساكني النار يلزم منه أن يكن أقل ساكني الجنة وليس ذلك بلازم لما قدمته ويحتمل أن يكون ذلك في أول الأمر قبل خروج العصاة من النار بالشفاعة والله أعلم
Abu Huraira ra used this hadith of (everyone will have two wives) as a proof that Women will outnumber Men in paradise as it is mentioned in Sahih Muslim from Ibn Sireen as This is clear (from this hadith). But the hadith of Kusoof goes against this where the Prophet peace be upon him said to the women ” I saw you in bulk amongst the dwellers of Hell.” It is answered that women outnumbered in hell does not mean they are not outnumbered in jannah as well, There is another hadith which goes against this which states: “Amongst the inmates of Paradise the women would form a minority.” So here it is possible that the narrator narrated this narration with its meaning (Riwaya bil M`ani) i.e. its not the words of the Prophet peace be upon him rather its the understanding of the narrator that women are more in hell means they are lesser in jannah. (Ibn Hajar said) But this is not must (that If women are more in hell means they are less in jannah, they can be more there as well) Or the answer (to this hadith) is The women could be less in Jannah at the beginning. But after the intercession of Prophet peace be upon him for the sinners (women and men), they will outnumber men in jannah as well. [Fath al Bari 6/325]
4. If a Man is able to look at what will induce him to marry a woman, he should do so.
Narrated Jabir ibn Abdullah:
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: When one of you asked a woman in marriage, if he is able to look at what will induce him to marry her, he should do so. He (Jabir) said: I asked a girl in marriage, I used to look at her secretly, until I looked at what induced me to marry her. I, therefore, married her. [Sunan Abi Dawud 2082]
5. Consent of a Virgin for her marriage.
It was narrated from ‘Aishah that the Prophet said:
“Seek the permission of women with regard to marriage.” It was said: “What if a virgin is too shy and remains silent?” He said: “That is her permission.”
Reference : Sunan an-Nasa’i 3266
Abul Abbas Qurtubi said:
وقد استحب علماؤنا أن تعرّف البكر أنّ سكوتها محمول منها على الإذن، ليكون ذلك زيادة في تعريفها، وتنبيهاً لها على ما يخاف ان تجهله
It is good according to our scholars that the virgin should be informed that her silence will be considered her consent.. and to alert her so that there will be no fear of ignorance. [al Mufhim 4/118]
6. Women are partners of Men.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
” إنما النساء شقائق الرجال “.
‘Yes. Indeed women are the partners of men.’ [Silsilah ahadeeth as-Saheeha no: 2863]
7. Compassion Towards Women And Command To Treat Them Kindly.
Miqdam bin Ma’dikarib said that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم
قام في الناس فحمد الله وأثنى عليه ثم قال إن الله يوصيكم بالنساء خيرا إن الله يوصيكم بالنساء خيرا ، فإنهن أمهاتكم وبناتكم وخالاتكم..
stood amongst the people and praised Allaah and exalted Him and saidIndeed Allah advices you in the strongest possible terms to be good to women, Indeed Allah advices you in the strongest possible terms to be good to woman, Indeed they are your mothers your daughters, your sisters, your paternal aunt and your maternal aunt… [Silsilah Ahadeeth as Saheehah no. 2871]
Sahaba used to be reserved in their speech with their wives fearing that Qur’an may be revealed.
Ibn Maja Narrated, Ibn ‘Umar said:
ابْنِ عُمَرَ، قَالَ كُنَّا نَتَّقِي الْكَلاَمَ وَالاِنْبِسَاطَ إِلَى نِسَائِنَا عَلَى عَهْدِ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ ـ صلى الله عليه وسلم ـ مَخَافَةَ أَنْ يُنْزَلَ فِينَا الْقُرْآنُ فَلَمَّا مَاتَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ـ صلى الله عليه وسلم ـ تَكَلَّمْنَا
“We used to be guarded in our speech even with our wives at the time of the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ), fearing that Qur’an may be revealed amongst us, but when the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) died, we began to speak freely.”
Reference : Sunan Ibn Majah 1632, Imam Bukhari narrated under Kitab an-Nikah
بَابُ الْوَصَاةِ بِالنِّسَاءِ
Chapter: The exhortation of taking care of the women.
8. Women are Sensitive.
Anas reported that Allah’s Apostle (peace be upon him) came to his wives as the camel-driver who was called Anjasha had been, driving (the camels) on which (they were riding). Thereupon he said:
Anjasha, be careful, drive slowly for you are driving the mounts who carry vessels of glass. [Sahih Muslim Book 30, Hadith 5745]
In Sahih Muslim above hadith is uner the Chapter: “His Compassion Towards Women And His Command To Treat Them Kindly”
Abu al-Abbas al-Qurtubi said
شبههن بالقوارير لسرعة تأثرهن وعدم تجلدهن
Women are like bottles, because both are sensitive and fragile. [Fath al Bari]
9. Allah enjoins you to treat your mothers kindly.
Miqdam bin Ma’dikarib, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that:
حَدَّثَنَا هِشَامُ بْنُ عَمَّارٍ، حَدَّثَنَا إِسْمَاعِيلُ بْنُ عَيَّاشٍ، عَنْ بَحِيرِ بْنِ سَعْدٍ، عَنْ خَالِدِ بْنِ مَعْدَانَ، عَنِ الْمِقْدَامِ بْنِ مَعْدِيكَرِبَ، أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ ـ صلى الله عليه وسلم ـ قَالَ “ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُوصِيكُمْ بِأُمَّهَاتِكُمْ – ثَلاَثًا – إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُوصِيكُمْ بِآبَائِكُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُوصِيكُمْ بِالأَقْرَبِ فَالأَقْرَبِ ” .
Allah’s Messenger said: “Allah enjoins you to treat your mother’s kindly”-three times- “Allah enjoins you to treat your fathers kindly, Allah enjoins you to treat the closest and the next closest kindly.”
Sunan Ibn Majah 3661
Parents and Abdullah bin Umar.
Abdullah ibn ‘Umar said, “The pleasure of the Lord lies in the pleasure of the parent. The anger of the Lord lies in the anger of the parent.”
حَدَّثَنَا آدَمُ، قَالَ: حَدَّثَنَا شُعْبَةُ، قَالَ: حَدَّثَنَا يَعْلَى بْنُ عَطَاءٍ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ عَبْدِ اللهِ بْنِ عُمَرَ قَالَ: رِضَا الرَّبِّ فِي رِضَا الْوَالِدِ، وَسَخَطُ الرَّبِّ فِي سَخَطِ الْوَالِدِ.
حسن موقوفا ، وصح مرفوعا (الألباني) حكم :
Reference : Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 2
10. Women are Helpers of Men.
The Prophet peace be upon him said:
وَاسْتَوْصُوا بِالنِّسَاءِ خَيْرًا، فَإِنَّهُنَّ عِنْدَكُمْ عَوَانٍ
“Treat women well, for they are with you as helpers.” [Tabari 3/151 Section: The Last Sermon]
The word used here is عَوَانٍ It is mentioned in Al Mufradaat
الْعَوْنُ
: المُعَاوَنَةُ والمظاهرة
The one who helps and supports. [Mufradat 1/598]
It is mentioned in Misbah al Lughat
العون-مص-مدد كزنا-مدد گار-…(واحد جمع مزكر مونث سب كے ليے مستعمل ہے)ج
اعوان
Al-Awn meaning-Doing help- helper-care taker (It can be use for all Singular, plural, Male, Female) C Awaan [Misbah ul Lughat Arabic to urdu dictionary1/561 maktabah quddusiyah]
Some people translated the word as “prisoners” like innocent prisoners fear from some merciless guards as Ibn al-Sayyidah said:
والعَواني النساءُ لأَنَّهُنَّ يُظْلَمْنَ فلا يَنْتَصِرْنَ
Alawani are the women because they get oppressed (by men) and they can not take their rights (from men)[Lisaan alArab Vol 10 page 315]
Like today we can see in some societies men beat their wives, They abuse her, they even throw acid on them and they take their rights and Women are not able to stand for their rights. So, in that way the hadith says treat women well don’t take their rights, don’t use your strength against them to oppress them. You have to be good to them.
11. Those who gave most in charity were the women on Eid day.
The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم used to say on Eids :
“ تَصَدَّقُوا تَصَدَّقُوا ” . فَأَكْثَرُ مَنْ يَتَصَدَّقُ النِّسَاءُ
‘Give in charity. Give in charity.’ Those who gave most in charity were the women. [Ibn Maja Book 5, Hadith 1347, Sahih Muslim 889]
12. Misuse of the hadith ” I would have ordered women to prostrate themselves before their husbands”
Prophet peace be upon him said: “If I were to order someone to fall prostrate before anyone other than Allaah, I would have ordered women to prostrate themselves before their husbands because of the great right that Allaah has made due to them from their wives.”
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen may Allaah have mercy upon him said: “In brief, these words that were mentioned in the Hadeeth are general, but they are restricted to the husband fulfilling his wife’s rights. If he does not fulfill her rights, then she is entitled to demand her rights and deny his rights in the same manner that he denies her rights; Allaah says (what means): {So whoever has assaulted you, then assault him in the same way that he has assaulted you.} [Quran 2:194] Allaah says (what means): {And if you punish [an enemy, O believers], punish with an equivalent of that with which you were harmed.} [Quran 16:126]” [End of quote] [Taken from Islamweb]
Al Qurtubi said:
وإذا لم يكن قَوّاماً عليها كان لها فسخ العقد؛ لزوال المقصود الذي شُرع لأجله النكاح. وفيه دلالة واضحةٌ من هذا الوجه على ثبوت فسخ النكاح عند الإعسار بالنفقة والكسوة؛ وهو مذهب مالك والشافعي. وقال أبو حنيفة؛ لا يفسخ؛ لقوله تعالى:
{ وَإِن كَانَ ذُو عُسْرَةٍ فَنَظِرَةٌ إِلَىٰ مَيْسَرَةٍ }
[البقرة: 280] وقد تقدّم القول في هذا في هذه السورة.
If a Man who is unable to spend on her then he is not “Qawwam” (In charge) of her. And when he is not “Qawwam” on her then it is allowed for her to terminate the contract, because the aim of marriage is not fulfilled due to which Nikah is prescribed. This verse is the evidence of terminating the nikah when one is unable to spend on maintenance. This is the saying of Imam Malik and ash-Shafiee, but Imam Abu Hanifa said: Nikah should not be terminated because Allah says: “And if someone is in hardship, then [let there be] postponement until [a time of] ease.” (al Baqarah verse 280) The tafsir on this verse is already mentioned before . [Tafsir al Qurtubi under 4:34]
13. The meaning of a hadith regarding bad omen in women.
Ibn ‘Umar said: Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If bad omens are to be found in anything, it is in a house, a woman and a horse.” [Al-Bukhaari (5094) and Muslim, (2252)]
Following ahadith will clear the misunderstanding which comes from the above hadith.
Narrated Abdullah ibn Mas’ud:
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: Taking omens is polytheism; taking omens is polytheism. He said it three times. Every one of us has some, but Allah removes it by trust (in Him). [Sunan Abi Dawud 3910, Grade Sahih by Al-Albani]
At-Tahawi and at-Tabari opined that The Prophet peace be upon him negated the belief in bad Omens from everything including women. But IF omens are to be found in anything then they would be in these three. But again that is not true.
[See Tahdeeb al Athaar 3/34, Sharah Mushkil al Athaar 2/249, Silsilah as-Saheeha al Abani 1/408]
at-Tahawi also said:
وقد روي عنه عليه السلام في نفي الشؤم أيضا وأن ضده من اليمن قد يكون في هذه الثلاثة الأشياء
Negation of Bad Omen is also narrated from Prophet peace be upon him. And that is opposite to (Bad Omen) which is Good fortune which can be found in these three (Woman, horse and a House). [Sharah Mushkil al Athaar 2/253]
14. Pious women have barakah / khayr i.e. Good Fortune.
Right after above statement at Tahawi Narrated
ما حدثنا ابن أبي داود ، حدثنا هشام بن عمار ، حدثنا إسماعيل بن عياش ، حدثنا سليمان بن سليم ، عن يحيى بن جابر الطائي ، عن معاوية بن حكيم ، عن عمه مخمر بن معاوية قال : سمعت النبي عليه السلام يقول : « لا شؤم ، وقد يكون اليمن في المرأة ، والفرس ، والدابة
Makhmar bin Muawiyah said: I heard Allah’s Messenger (peace be upin him) say: “Do NOT believe in omens, and GOOD FORTUNE (Khayr/Barakah) is to be found in three things: A woman, a horse and a house.” [Sharah Mushkil al Athaar 2/253]
In short,
There is no bad omen in women rather women have good fortune in general. Scholars have various other opinions but this is sufficient.
15. Meaning of witness of a woman equal to half of that of a man.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said,”Isn’t the witness of a woman equal to half of that of a man?” The women said, “Yes.” Sahih al-Bukhari 2658
Man has to use his memory to remember the events and he is the ONLY ONE who is responsible for the accuracy of the witness. Whereas, woman has to take help of another woman. Isn’t the blessing?
Don’t you know how big is the burden of witness?
It was narrated that Abu Bakrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Shall I not tell you of the greatest of major sins?” We said, “Yes indeed, O Messenger of Allaah.” He said … “And false speech and false witness, and false speech and false witness,” and he kept on saying it until I thought he would never stop. [Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5631; Muslim, 87]
Testimony of a black woman vs Uqba bin Amir. Who did Prophet peace be upon him agree with?
Uqba bin Amir said:
I married a woman and then a black lady came to us and said, “I have suckled you both (you and your wife).” So I came to the Prophet (ﷺ) and said, “I married so-and-so and then a black lady came to us and said to me, ‘I have suckled both of you.’ But I think she is a liar.” The Prophet (ﷺ) turned his face away from me and I moved to face his face, and said, “She is a liar.” The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “How (can you keep her as your wife) when that lady has said that she has suckled both of you? So abandon her (your wife).
Sahih al Bukhari 5104
In muamlaat even the testimony of a single man is not admissible. See (al baqarah 282), does that mean Allah degraded men because one single testimony is not acceptable? rather in the case of Zina, only 4 testimonies are accepted does that mean Allah degraded the men because even if 3 men gives testimony they are not acceptable? Sameway it is not degrading women when testimony of 2 women equals 1 man in other cases rather it is blessing of Allah on them.
Imam Abu Ali Husayn al Shoshawi (d 899 h) said:
فرب رجل يكون أضعف عقلاً من كثير من النساء، ومع ذلك هو مكلف بإجماع، ورب امرأة تكون أكثر عقلاً من كثير من الرجال… وكانت – رضي الله عنها – من سادات العلماء رضي الله عنها. وقال عليه السلام: “نِعْم النساء نساء الأنصار، لم يمنعهن الحياء أن يتفقهن في الدين”
And there are cases where the Man has weaker mind then many of the women and still he is obliged (to follow Islam). And sometimes the woman has much better mind than many men.. Aishah May Allah be pleased with her was among the greatest of the scholars, He (peace be upon him) said: “How good were the women of the Ansar: For they did not let shyness keep them from understanding their religion properly.”
[رفع النقاب عن تنقيح الشهاب 2/304]
The scholars of Islamweb states:
“there are some fields in which women overcome men. For example, there are many fields in which Allah made the witness of one woman to be enough, such as in matters relating to menses, birth, women defects, suckling and other matters that men can not know. Allah exempted women from the prayer and fasting during their menstrual period. This concession is actually a sign of blessing and mercy of Allah on the woman as she faces many biological changes during this period.” [Islamweb Fatwa No : 81237]
So, Do not view Islam from a western mindset. Do not make a blessing in to a Curse.
16. Deficiency of a woman’s mind.
The Prophet peace be upon him addressed some specific women and asked for alms and said:
“O women! You curse frequently, and are ungrateful to your husbands. I have not seen anyone more deficient in intelligence and religion than you. O women, some of you can lead a cautious wise man astray.” [Sahih al-Bukhari 1462]
Firstly, It is clear that Prophet peace be upon him was ONLY talking about the women who curse a lot AND those who are ungrateful to the pious husbands. He was not talking about all women. How can he, when he himself had the most pious wives ever among them were Khadija, Aisha, Hafsa radhiAllahanho ma and others.
Secondly, It is obvious that Prophet peace be upon him had Sahaba in his mind, he was not talking about foul mouthed husband, who also abuse or beat the wives, or who don’t even pray or fast like many of the husbands in present times.
Thirdly, In easy words the Prophet peace be upon him wanted that the sins of some women should be removed by giving Alms and he was strict in this case.
Ibn Hajr al Asqalani mentioned many benefits from the hadith (, one of them is:
وفيه الإغلاظ في النصح بما يكون سببا لإزالة الصفة التي تعاب ، وأن لا يواجه بذلك الشخص المعين ; لأن في التعميم تسهيلا على السامع
It is allowed to be harsh (i.e. Exaggerate) while advising due to which the sin is removed. But without specifying any person (i.e. it should be general). [Fath al Bari under hadith no. 304]
Allah says:
And those who are patient, seeking the countenance of their Lord, and establish prayer and spend from what We have provided for them secretly and publicly and PREVENT EVIL WITH GOOD – those will have the good consequence of [this] home – [13 : 22]
And that is what happened, The wife of Ibn Masud came to him and said,
“O Prophet of Allah! Today you ordered people to give alms and I had an ornament and intended to give it as alms, but Ibn Mas`ud said that he and his children deserved it more than anybody else.” The Prophet (peace be upon him) replied, “Ibn Mas`ud had spoken the truth. Your husband and your children had more right to it than anybody else.” [Sahih al-Bukhari 1462]
Ibn Hajr al Asqalani also said:
وليس المقصود بذكر النقص في النساء لومهن على ذلك ; لأنه من أصل الخلقة ، لكن التنبيه على ذلك تحذير من الافتتان بهن
“Blaming the women was not reason behind the use of the word Nuqsan(deficient) for women.. It was used to warn the women…” [Fath al Bari under hadith no. 304]
Imam Bukhari praising knowledge of women against men who didn’t know about a sunnah.
٢٤ – حدثنا محمد بن مقاتل , حدثنا عبد الله بن المبارك , أخبرنا إسماعيل , حدثني عبد ربه بن سليمان بن عمير قال رأيت أم ⦗٢٣⦘ الدرداء ” ترفع يديها في الصلاة حذو منكبيها حين تفتتح الصلاة , وحين تركع وإذا قال: «سمع الله لمن حمده» رفعت يديها , وقالت: «ربنا ولك الحمد»
قال البخاري: ” ونساء بعض أصحاب النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم هن أعلم من هؤلاء حين يرفعن أيديهن في الصلاة
I.e. Um Darda used to do rafa Yadayn in Salah and he commented: And the women of some of the companions of the Prophet peace be upon him are more knowledgeable than these people as they (women) used to raise their hands in Salah.
(Juzz Rafayadayn no. 24).
Meaning, they had more knowledge about sunnah then men who don’t raise the hands.
Note: the post is not about raising hands or not. It is about knowledge of women can be more than men, whoever seeks knowledge will be more knowledgeable than the other who didn’t seek knowledge, whether they are men or women.
17. How the Prophet peace be upon him treated Aisha May Allah be pleased with her (related to above hadith).
How the Prophet peace be upon him dealt with Mother Aisha when Aisha May Allah be pleased with her said “I can not pray” due to Monthly cycle. Did he say O Woman you are deficient in Religion?
Aisha said:
The Prophet (peace be upon him) came to me while I was weeping.
He asked me the reason for it. I replied, “I have heard of what you have said to your companions and I cannot do the `Umra.”
He asked me, “What is the matter with you?” I replied, “I am not praying.”
He said, “THERE IS NO HARM IN IT AS YOU ARE ONE OF THE DAUGHTERS OF ADAM and the same is written for you as for others. So, you should perform Hajj and I hope that Allah will enable you to perform the `Umra as well.”
So, I carried on till we departed from Mina and halted at Al-Mahassab. The Prophet (Peace be upon him) called `Abdur- Rahman and said, “Go out of the sanctuary with your sister (Aisha) and let her assume Ihram for `Umra, and after both of you have finished the Tawaf I will be waiting for you at this place.” We came back at midnight and the Prophet (peace be upon him) asked us, “Have you finished?” I replied in the affirmative. [Sahih al-Bukhari 1788]
In short, there is no harm for women when they leave prayer in their monthly periods, rather they will get reward of following command, Which is a blessing for them. And the Prophet peace be upon him commanded some women only for a reason that is (those) women should give alms so that their sin get removed.
Did you ever see a Man saying “Why My witness is not even needed in in matters relating to women only”.
Ibn al Munzar (Born 241h Died 318 h) said:
واتفقوا على قبول شهادتهن مفردات فيما لا يطلع عليه الرجال ، كالحيض والولادة والاستهلال وعيوب النساء
They (the scholars) are agreed upon to accept the witness of women in the matters related to women that men can not know like menses, birth, al Istahlal and women defects. [Fath al Bari under the hadith 2658]
So, do not see Islam through the eyes of kuffar. They try to fool you. The more you read about Islam, the more beautiful things you will know. Some examples are:
18. Memory of Umm Hisham bint Haritha (Related to above hadith).
Umm Hisham bint Haritha b. Nu’man said:
.. I learnt Surah “Qaf. By the Glorious Qur’an” from no other source (i.e. Mushaf etc) than the tongue of Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) who used to recite it every Friday on the pulpit when he delivered the sermon to the people.
Reference : Sahih Muslim 873
And now a days we have Mushaf and we don’t learn, we listen to the sermon’s but could not learn the verses of Qur`an.
19. When Asma bint Umais won the discussion against the mountain of knowledge Umar ibn al Khattab.
Asma’ bint ‘Umais who had migrated to Abyssinia and had come back along with immigrants visited Hafsa, the wife of Allah’s Apostle (Peace be upon him).
(Accordingly), Umar had been sitting with her (Hafsa). As ‘Umar saw Asma, he said: Who is she? She (Hafsa) said: She is Asma, daughter of ‘Umais.
He said: She is an Abyssinian and a sea-woman.
Asma said: Yes, it is so.
Thereupon ‘Umar said: We preceded you in migration and so we have more right to Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) as compared with you.
At this she felt annoyed and said: ‘Umar, you are not stating the fact; by Allah, you had the privilege of being in the company of the Messenger (peace be upon him) who fed the hungry among you and instructed the ignorant amongst you, whereas we had been far (from here) in the land of Abyssinia amongst the enemies and that was all for Allah and Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) and, by Allah, I would never take food nor take water unless I make a mention to Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) of what you have said. We remained in that country in constant trouble and dread and I shall talk about it to Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) and ask him (about it). By Allah, I shall not tell a lie and deviate (from the truth) and add anything to that.
So, when Allah’s Apostle (peace be upon him) came, she said: Allah’s Apostle, ‘Umar says so and so.
Upon this Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) said: His right is not more than yours, for him and his companions there is one migration, but for you, i. e. for the people of the boat, there are two migrations.
She said: I saw Abu Musa and the people of the boat coming to me in groups and asking me about this hadith, because there was nothing more pleasing and more significant for them than this.
Abu Burda reported that Asma said: I saw Abu Musa, asking me to repeat this hadith to him again and again. [Sahih Muslim 2502, 2503]
SubhanAllah what a beautiful answer and how the Prophet peace be upon him agreed with her and how the giants of knowledge like Abu Musa asked her to repeat it again and again.
20. Intelligence of Subaia bint Al-Harith and Prophet’s (peace be upon him) verdict in her favor.
When Subaia bint Al-Harith completed the term of deliver (i.e. became clean after her husbans’s death), she prepared herself for suitors.
Abu As-Sanabil, a man from the tribe of Bani Abd-ud-Dal called on her and said to her, “What! I see you dressed up for the people to ask you in marriage. Do you want to marry By Allah, you are not allowed to marry unless four months and ten days have elapsed (after your husband’s death).”
Subaia said, “When he (i.e. Abu As-Sanabil) said this to me. I put on my dress in the evening and went to Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) and asked him about this problem. He gave the verdict that I was free to marry as I had already given birth to my child and ordered me to marry if I wished.”
Reference : Sahih al-Bukhari 3991
Ibn Hajr mentioned some benefits from above hadith:
وفيه ما كان في سبيعة من الشهامة والفطنة
Subaia’s Shahamah and intelligence is proven from this hadith..
21. Discussion between Men and women.
Narrated Um Al-Fadl bint Al-Harith:
“While the people were with me on the day of `Arafat they differed as to whether the Prophet (peace be upon him) was fasting or not; some said that he was fasting while others said that he was not fasting. So, I sent to him a bowl full of milk while he was riding over his camel and he drank it.”
Reference : Sahih al-Bukhari 1988
Ibn Hajr al asqalani said There are some benefits in this hadith among those are:
وَفِيهِ الْبَحْثُ وَالِاجْتِهَادُ فِي حَيَاتِهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ وَالْمُنَاظَرَةُ فِي الْعِلْمِ بَيْنَ الرِّجَالِ وَالنِّسَاءِ
In it there (is an evidence) of doing Arguments and Ijtihad in the Life of Prophet peace be upon him and discussion between men and women on knowledge. [Fath al Bari under the hadith 1988]
Note: The companions men and women always spoke with each other by doing proper hijab and that also when it was needed. As mentioned in the following athar.
Masruq reported:
I heard ‘A’isha (Allah be pleased with her) clapping her hands behind the curtain and saying… [Sahih Muslim Book 7, Hadith 3044]
22. When the Prophet peace be upon him said: “O People”, It included men and women unless it was specified.
Umm Salama, the wife of Allah’s Apostle (peace be upon him), said I used to hear from people making a mention of the Cistern, but I did not hear about it from Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him). One day while a girl was combing me I heard Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) say:
” O people.” I said to that girl: Keep away from me. She said: He (the Holy Prophet) has addressed the men only and he has not invited the attention of the women. I said: I am amongst the people also (and have thus every right to listen to the things pertaining to religion). Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) said: I shall be your harbinger on the Cistern; therefore, be cautious lest one of you should come (to me) and may be driven away like a stray camel. I would ask the reasons, and it would be said to me: You don’t know what innovations they made after you. And I would then also say: Be away.
Reference : Sahih Muslim 2295
23. Rights of women to know about Islam and they should know how to read and write.
a) Imam al Bukhari said:
Chapter: Should a day be fixed for women in order to teach them religion (apart from men)?
Narrated Abu Sa`id Al-Khudri:
Some women requested the Prophet (peace be upon him) to fix a day for them as the men were taking all his time. On that he promised them one day for religious lessons and commandments. Once during such a lesson the Prophet said, “A woman whose three children die will be shielded by them from the Hell fire.” On that a woman asked, “If only two die?” He replied, “Even two (will shield her from the Hell-fire).
Reference : Sahih al-Bukhari 101
B) Narrated Ash-Shifa’, daughter of Abdullah,:
The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) entered when I was with Hafsah, and he said to me: Why do you not teach this one the spell for skin eruptions as you TAUGHT HER WRITING.
She was the first to write Ameer ul Momineen for the great Umar bin al Khattab and he used to respect her.
Umar ibn ‘Abdu’l-‘Aziz asked Abu Bakr ibn Abi Hathama, “Why did Abu Bakr write, ‘From Abu Bakr, the Khalifa (Successor) of the Messenger of Allah’ and then ‘Umar wrote after him, ‘From ‘Umar ibn al-Khattab, the khalifa (successor) of Abu Bakr’? Who was the first to write ‘the Amir al-Mu’minin’?” He replied, “My grandmother, ash-Shifa’, related to me, and she was one of the first to write ‘the Amir al-Mu’minin, and she was one of the first Muhajirun and when ‘Umar ibn al-Khattab entered the market, he visited her.
Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 1023
C) The Status of Female Student of Aisha may Allah be pleased with her.
‘A’isha bint Talha said, “I spoke to ‘A’isha when I was under her protection. people used to visit her from all places. Shaykhs used visit me because of my place with her. Young men used to treat me as a sister and give me presents and write to me from their cities. I said to ‘A’isha, ‘Aunt, this is a letter from so-and-so and his gift.’ ‘A’isha told me, ‘My girl, answer him and reward him. If you do not have anything to give, I will give you something.’ She told her to give it to her.”
Al-Adab Al-Mufrad no. 1118, Grade : Hasan (Al-Albani)
Note: Her 3 Marriages.
Aisha bint Talha who was very close student of Umm ul Momineen Aisha.
She married to Abdullah bin Abdur Rahman bin abi Bakar Siddique.
When Abdullah bin Abdur Rahman died she married to Ameer of Iraq Mus`ab bin Zubayr who was known to be a very handsome man.
Mus`ab was killed and then she married to Umar bin Obaidullah at-Tamimi and he also died after 8 years of their marriage.
Taken from Tabiyeen ki Jaleel ul Qadr Khawateen page 17-21
24. The Prophet peace be upon him did not return the women to kuffar in Hudaibiya treaty.
In the Treaty of Hudaibiya, one of the things stipulated, was that the Prophet (peace be upon him) should return to the pagans anyone coming to him from their side due to their dhulm, even if he was a Muslim.
During that period some believing women emigrants including Um Kulthum bint `Uqba bin Abu Muait who came to Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) and she was a young lady then. Her relative came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and asked him to return her, but the Prophet (peace be upon him) did not return her to them for Allah had revealed the following Verse regarding women: “O you who believe! When the believing women come to you as emigrants. Examine them, Allah knows best as to their belief, then if you know them for true believers, Send them not back to the unbelievers, (for) they are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers, Nor are the unbelievers lawful (husbands) for them (60.10)
Reference : Sahih al-Bukhari 2711, 2712
Ibn Hajr asqalani said:
Some scholars said the Prophet peace be upon him did not even mentioned women in this stipulation as mentioned in the following hadith,
وقد أخرج ابن أبي حاتم من طريق مقاتل بن حيان أن المشركين قالوا للنبي صلى الله عليه وسلم : رد علينا من هاجر من نسائنا ، فإن شرطنا أن من أتاك منا أن ترده علينا . فقال : كان الشرط في الرجال ولم يكن في النساء وهذا لو ثبت كان قاطعا للنزاع
Ibn Abi Hatim narrated from Muqatil bin Hiyan that, The Pagans asked the Prophet peace be upon him to return their women (who have migrated from them to the muslims) because one of the stipulation is that you should return anyone coming from our side, He peace be upon him said: This was for men not regarding the women. (Ibn Hajr said:) If this is proven then this is clear text in this difference of opinion. [Fath al Bari Kitab at-Talaq under the hadith: 5287]
25. Putting perfume for women after taking a Bath of menses.
Narrated `Aisha:
A woman asked the Prophet (peace be upon him) about the bath which is taken after finishing from the menses. The Prophet (peace be upon him) told her what to do and said, “Purify yourself with a piece of cloth scented with musk.” The woman asked, “How shall I purify myself with it” He said, “Subhan Allah! Purify yourself (with it).” I (Aisha) pulled her to myself and said, “Rub the place soiled with blood with it.” [Sahih al-Bukhari 315]
Imam Bukhari made a chapter
“Putting perfume by woman at the time of taking a bath after finishing from the menses” [Sahih al Bukhari, Book of Menstrual Periods, chapter 12]
Ibn Hajr al Asqalani said in the commentary:
أن تطيب المرأة عند الغسل من الحيض متأكد بحيث إنه رخص للحادة التي حرم عليها استعمال الطيب في شيء منه مخصوص .
Putting perfume by a woman at the time of taking bath is emphasised, It is even allowed for a widow (after a bath), even though she is not allowed to put perfume (other than the bath of Hayd) for 4 months and 10 days. [Fath al Bari, Kitab al Hayd, under chapter 12]
26. To the kuffar who claim the Prophet peace be upon him wanted to marry women of his choice as much as he wanted.
Ibn Abi Shayba narrated from Jabir May Allah be pleased with him that, Utba (one of the staunch enemy of Islam) said to the Prophet peace be upon him:
أيها الرجل ، إن كان إنما بك الباءة فاختر أي نساء قريش ونزوجك عشرا ، وإن كان إنما بك الحاجة جمعنا لك حتى تكون أغنى قريش رجلا واحدا ،
“O Man, if you have interest in marriage than you can choose any woman from the Quraysh, we will marry you with ten women, and If you need anything. We will provide you as much that you will be the richest person alone in Quraysh.”
The prophet peace be upon him replied by reciting the verses of Qur`an from Surah Fusilat, when he reached the 13th verse:
“But if they turn away, then say, “I have warned you of a thunderbolt like the thunderbolt [that struck] ‘Aad and Thamud.”
Utba stopped him:
فقال عتبة : حسبك حسبك ما عندك غير هذا ؟ قال : لا
Stop, stop, do you have any other thing than this? He (peace be upon him) said: No.. [Musannaf Ibn Abi Shayba vol 11, Kitab al Seyar, chapter 5, Shaykh al Albani mentioned this in Saheeh seerah al Nabawiyah (The authentic Seerah of the Prophet peace be upon him) page 160]
27. Non combatants are not to be killed purposely even if he/she may be a zaani or faasiq.
Ibn Hajr said regarding a Lover of a girl, that when Prophet peace be upon him sent a سرية:
وقد روى النسائي والبيهقي في ” الدلائل ” بإسناد صحيح من حديث ابن عباس نحو هذه القصة وقال فيها : ” فقال إني لست منهم ، إني عشقت امرأة منهم فدعوني أنظر إليها نظرة – قال فيه – فضربوا عنقه ، فجاءت المرأة فوقعت عليه فشهقت شهقة أو شهقتين ثم ماتت ، فذكروا ذلك للنبي – صلى الله عليه وسلم – فقال : أما كان فيكم رجل رحيم ” ؟
It is narrated by an-Nisai and al Bayhaqi in “ad-Dalaail” with an authentic chain from Ibn Abbas a story like this, which states that he said: I am not from them (Bani Juzayma), I am the lover of a woman among them and i want to look at her. The narration states that he was killed (by a man) and that woman wept over him and died, Someone (complaint) in front of the Prophet peace be upon him and He said: There was no one (among you) who was merciful?.
[Fath al Bari, Kitab al Maghazi ch 64, Declared authentic by Ibn Hajr and al Albani in as-Saheeha no. 2594]
28. Being suspicious about the wives, The best Teacher, Prophet peace be upon him.
Narrated Abu Huraira:
A bedouin came to Allah’s Messenger ((peace be upon him)) and said, “My wife has delivered a black boy, and I suspect that he is not my child.” Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) said to him, “Have you got camels?” The bedouin said, “Yes.” The Prophet said, “What color are they?” The bedouin said, “They are red.” The Prophet ((peace be upon him)) said, “Are any of them Grey?” He said, “There are Grey ones among them.” The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “When do you think this color came to them?” The bedouin said, “O Allah’s Messenger! It resulted from hereditary disposition.” The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “And this (i.e., your child) has inherited his color from his ancestors.” The Prophet (peace be upon him) did not allow him to deny his paternity of the child.
Reference : Sahih al-Bukhari 7314
29. To those who always argue about Men vs Women.
Narrated Umm ‘Umarah Al-Ansariyyah:
that she came to the Prophet (Peace be upon him) and said: “I do not see bu that everything is for the men, and I do not see anything being mentioned for the women.” So this Ayah was revealed: “Indeed, the Muslim men and Muslim women, the believing men and believing women, the obedient men and obedient women, the truthful men and truthful women, the patient men and patient women, the humble men and humble women, the charitable men and charitable women, the fasting men and fasting women, the men who guard their private parts and the women who do so, and the men who remember Allah often and the women who do so – for them Allah has prepared forgiveness and a great reward” (33 : 35)’
[Tirmidhi Vol. 5, Book 44, Hadith 3211]
30. The Question to the Prophet peace be upon him: “Why is it that women are not mentioned in the Quran like men”
Imam Ahmad recorded that Umm Salamah, may Allah be pleased with her, the wife of the Prophet said, “I said to the Prophet , `Why is it that we are not mentioned in the Qur’an as men are’ Then one day without my realizing it, he was calling from the Minbar and I was combing my hair, so I tied my hair back then I went out to my chamber in my house, and I started listening out, and he was saying from the Minbar:
“Indeed, the Muslim men and Muslim women, the believing men and believing women, the obedient men and obedient women, ..”)) [Tafsir Ibn Kathir under 5 : 35]
In fact, Allah mentioned daughters before sons.
“For Allah is the Kingdom of the heavens and the earth, He creates whatever He likes. He bestows daughters onwhomsoever He likes and He bestows sons on whomsoever He likes.” [ash-Shura verse 49]
Ibn Qayyim commented:
وعندي وجه آخر : وهو أنه سبحانه قدم ما كانت تؤخره الجاهلية من أمر البنات حتى كانوا يئدوهن أي هذا النوع المؤخر عندكم مقدم عندي في الذكر
According to me there is another reason of this (i.e. mentioning of daughters before sons): Allah gives priority to daughters who were forsaken by the people of ignorance, The reason was to tell the people that this worthless type according to you should be forsaken, but according to me they have a priority to (even) mention them first. [Tuhfatul Mawdood bi Ahkam al Mawlood by Ibn al Qayyim page 20]
31. Loving pious Women and Children for the sake of Allah.
Narrated Anas:
The Prophet (peace be upon him) saw the women and children (of the Ansar) coming forward. (The sub-narrator said, “I think that Anas said, ‘They were returning from a wedding party.”) The Prophet (peace be upon him) stood up and said thrice, “By Allah! You are from the most beloved people to me.”
Reference : Sahih al-Bukhari 3785
32. Marrying a man who is harsh against women.
Fatima bint Qais said When my period of ‘Idda was over, I said to the Messenger of Allah peace be upon him:
Mu’awiya and Abu’l-Jahm (Allah be pleased with them) were among those who had given me the proposal of marriage. Thereupon Allah’s Apostle (peace be upon him) said: Mu’awiya is destitute and in poor condition and Abu’l-Jahm is very harsh with women (or he beats women, or like that), you should take Usama b. Zaid (as your husband).
Reference : Sahih Muslim : Book 9, Hadith 3527
33. The rights of Orphan and Women.
It was narrated from Abu Hurairah that the Messenger of Allah(peace be upon him) said:
“ اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أُحَرِّجُ حَقَّ الضَّعِيفَيْنِ الْيَتِيمِ وَالْمَرْأَةِ ” .
“O Allah, bear witness that I have issued a warning concerning (failure to fulfill) the rights of the two weak ones: Orphans and women .'”
Grade : Hasan (Darussalam)
Reference : Sunan Ibn Majah 3678
al Munawi commented:
بأن تعاملوهما برفق وشفقة ، ولا تكلفوهما ما لا يطيقانه ، ولا تقصروا في حقهما الواجب والمندوب ، وَوَصَفَهُمَا بالضعف استعطافا وزيادة في التحذير والتنفير ، فإن الإنسان كلما كان أضعف كانت عناية الله به أتم ، وانتقامه من ظالمه أشد
That you treat them with kindness and compassion, and do not burden them with what they cannot bear, and do not fall short in their obligatory and recommended rights, and describe them as weak out of sympathy and an increase in warning and alienation, for the weaker a person is, the more complete Allah’s care for them will be, and His vengeance against his wrongdoer will be more severe. End quote from Fayd al-Qadir (1) /166).
34. No shyness in asking questions about intimacy.
Imam ad-Darami narrated
عن ابن سابط قال سألت حفصة بنت عبد الرحمن هو ابن أبي بكر قلت لها إني أريد أن أسألك عن شيء وأنا أستحيي أن أسألك عنه قالت سل يا ابن أخي عما بدا لك قال أسألك عن إتيان النساء في أدبارهن فقالت حدثتني أم سلمة قالت كانت الأنصار لا تجبي وكانت المهاجرون تجبي فتزوج رجل من المهاجرين امرأة من الأنصار فجباها فأبت الأنصارية فأتت أم سلمة فذكرت ذلك لها فلما أن جاء النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم استحيت الأنصارية وخرجت فذكرت ذلك أم [سلمة للنبي صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال ادعوها لي فدعيت له فقال لها {نساؤكم حرث لكم فأتوا حرثكم أنى شئتم} سماما واحدا والسمام السبيل الواحد
From Ibn Saabit that he said: I asked Hafsa bint Abdul Rahman ibn Abu Bakr that I want to ask you something but i am shy,
Hafsa said: O my nephew, ask anything. He said: I want to ask regarding intercourse with the wife from her back.
She said: Umm Salmah narrated to me that Ansar would not (enjoy) their women by laying them on their faces, but Muhajireen would lay them on their faces, then a Muhajir married with a woman from Ansaar, He wanted her to lay down on her face but she refused.
She came to Umm Salmah and mentioned this. When Prophet peace be upon him entered the Ansaari woman went out due to shyness, Umm Salmah mentioned to the Prophet peace be upon him regarding her case. He peace be upon him said: ask her to come, when she came He recited: “Your wives are a place of sowing of seed for you, so come to your place of cultivation however you wish” [2 : 223] Meaning one valve and valve is one way( i.e. only vagina). [Sunan ad-Darami 1159, Abdul Mannan Raasikh the Muhaqqiq of Sunan ad-Darami said: “Saheeh (see also ) Ahmad 6/305 and Tafseer at-Tabari 2/92”]
Abdul Mannan Raasikh said, which means:
i) There should be no shyness in asking any Shar`ee question, it is the way to destruction and ignorance if shyness is shown in it.
ii) If someone is shy to ask this type of question then he should be encouraged rather than making fun. [end quote]
35. Giving wife her right of intimacy and kind treatment.
When Abdullah bin Amr bin al Aas ra started offering prayers all night and fasting during the day, Prophet peace be upon him advised him, one of it is
“and your wife has a right on you” (5199)
Ibn Hajr al Asqalani said:
قال ابن بطال : لما ذكر في الباب قبله حق الزوج على الزوجة ذكر في هذا عكسه وأنه لا ينبغي له أن يجهد بنفسه في العبادة حتى يضعف عن القيام بحقها من جماع واكتساب
Ibn Battaal said: The previous chapter (mentioned by al Bukhari) was regarding the rights of Husband over his wife, Here He (al Bukhari) mentioned the rights of wife, that do not be tired due to Ibadah due to which the rights of your wife like sex and earning for living are not fulfilled.[Fath al Bari The book of Wedlock under the hadith 5199]
Allama al-Munawi (Allah have mercy on him) states:
المرأة التي قعد لها يريد جماعها وأخذوا منه أنه يسن مؤكدا تقديم المداعبة والتقبيل ومص اللسان على الجماع وكرهوا خلافه
“Foreplay, kissing and sucking the tongue before sexual intercourse is a sunnah muakadah, and it is disliked (makruh) to do otherwise.” (Faidh al-Qadir, 5/90, Shamela See: Hadith no. 6536)
36. Your wife is one of those for whom you are responsible.
According to a report narrated by Musnad Ahmad (2/524), it was said:
For whom am I responsible, O Messenger of Allaah?” He said, “Your wife is one of those for whom you are responsible.”
So treat them kindly, be a romantic husband rather say “I love you” many times As sahaba used to do.
Ibn Maeen Narrated:
ابراهيم قال: “كانوا يقولون قول الرجل لإمرأته: إنى احبك طرف من السحر”.
Ibraheem said: They (Sahaba and tabiyeen) said, saying I love you to your wife is type of a magic.
تاريخ ابن معين – رواية ابن محرز (2/ 63)
Dr Muhammad bin Umar Baazmool commented:
وفيه ما كان عليه الصحابة والتابعون من العناية بأمر الزوجة واستصلاحها لزوجها.
وفيه أن الوصية بها وبما يشبهها مما يرغب في تعلمه وتعليمه.
وفيه أن حب الرجل لزوجته وحب الزوجة لزوجها مما ينبغي الاعتناء به، ويعين على تحمل أعباء الحياة ومشاكلها.
وبالله التوفيق.
And it shows what the Companions and their followers were upon..
In it there is benefit of a man’s love for his wife and a wife’s love for her husband and the things that should be taken care of, and help to bear the burdens and problems of life.
(د. محمد بن عمر بازمول)
37. Do not hate believing women rather love them.
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No believing man should hate a believing woman. If he dislikes one of her characteristics, he may be pleased with another.” Narrated by Muslim (1469) from Abu Hurayrah.
Abu Darda radhi Allahanho said to his wife:
إذا غضبت فَـرَضيِّني، وإذا غضبت رضيتك، فإذا لم نكن هكذا ما أسرع ما نفترق
If you see me angry, calm me down, and if I see you angry, I will calm you down, if we are not like this, we will soon be separated.
رواه ابن حبان في ((روضة العقلاء)) (ص72)، وابن عساكر في ((تاريخ دمشق)) (70/151).
Mulla Ali Al Qari commented on the above marfu hadith:
وفيه إشارة إلى أن الصاحب لا يوجد بدون عيب فإن أراد الشخص بريئا من العيب يبقى بلا صاحب ولا يخلو الإنسان سيما المؤمن عن بعض خصال حميدة فينبغي أن يراعيها ويستر ما بقيها
The hadith indicates that a companion (husband or wife) does not exist without a defect. If a person wants a companion without any defect, he will remain without a companion. A person, especially a believer, will always have some good qualities, so he should pay attention to them and cover up what remains.
(Mirqat al Mafateeh no. 3240)
That is why the greatest love between two souls is the love of husband and wife.
Ibn Katheer (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
فلا ألفة بين روحين أعْظَمُ مِمّا بَيْنَ الزَّوْجَيْنِ ; ولهذا ذكر تعالى أن الساحر ربما توصل بكيده إلى التفرقة بين المرء وزوجه
There is no love between any two souls greater than that that exists between the husband and wife. This is why Allah mentioned that the sorcerer might be able with his trick to separate between a man and his wife (thus indicating the difficulty of separating them in normal circumstances).
Tafseer Ibn Katheer surah al Araaf verse 190.
38. The point of nearness between Prophet peace be upon him and the one who brought up two or even one girl.
Sahih Muslim Book 032, Number 6364: Malik reported Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: He, who brought up two girls properly till they grew up, he and I would come (together) (very closely) on the Day of Resurrection, and he interlaced his fingers (for explaining the point of nearness between him and that person).
Parents of daughters, be happy. Take care of them properly and enter jannah.
Jabir Narrated that Prophet peace be upon him said:
من كن له ثلاث بنات يؤويهن ويرحمهن ويكفلهن وجبت له الجنة البتة. قيل: يا رسول الله! فإن كانت اثنتين؟ قال: وإن كانت اثنتين. قال: فراى بعض القوم ان لو قالوا له: واحدة؟ لقال: واحدة”.
Whoever has three daughters and he cares for them, he is merciful to them, and he clothes them, then Jannah will surely become obligatory for him.” It was said: O Messenger of Allah! If there are two daughters? The Prophet peace be upon him said: “Even if there are two.” Some people believed that if he was asked about one daughter, he would have said: “Even if there is one.”
Musnad Ahmad 1427 authenticated by Shaykh Shuyab al Arnaut and al Albani in Silsilah Ahadeeth al Saheeha no. 2679
39. Women will get whatever they desire in jannah.
Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet, said, “Allah said, ‘I have prepared for My pious worshipers such things as no eye has ever seen, no ear has ever heard of, and nobody has ever thought of. All that is reserved, besides which, all that you have seen, is nothing.” Then he recited:– ‘No soul knows what is kept hidden (in reserve) for them of joy as a reward for what they used to do.’ (32.17)
Sahih al Bukhari , Hadith 4780
Prophet peace be upon him said: “‘If Allah admits you into Paradise, you will have in it whatever is desired by your soul and pleasing to your eye.'” [Silsilah as-Saheeha hadeeth no. 3001]
Allah says:
“Therein you shall have (all) that your inner-selves desire” (Surah Fussilat:31-32)
There is no injustice for women.
“If any do deeds of righteousness, be they male or female, and have faith, they will enter Jannah, and not the least injustice will be done to them.” (Surah an-Nisa:124)
In simple words, Whatever you want and have not even imagined yet, you will get it. Your destination should be jannah.
40. Divorcing women after finishing the need and not giving her mahr.
Narrated by Ibn Umar ra
، أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ: إِنَّ أَعْظَمَ الذُّنُوبِ عِنْدَ اللهِ رَجُلٌ تَزَوَّجَ امْرَأَةً ، فَلَمَّا قَضَى حَاجَتَهُ مِنْهَا ، طَلَّقَهَا ، وَذَهَبَ بِمَهْرِهَا ، وَرَجُلٌ اسْتَعْمَلَ رَجُلاً ، فَذَهَبَ بِأُجْرَتِهِ ، وَآخَرُ يَقْتُلُ دَابَّةً عَبَثًا.
The Prophet peace be upon him said: It is one of the GREATEST SIN in the sight of Allah that a man marries a woman and when he finish his needs from her, he divorce her and do not giver her Mahr [Mustadrak al Haakim 2/198, alAlbani ra authenticated in Silsilah as-Saheeha no. 999]
41. I would have given precedence to women over men.
It was narrated that Ibn ‘Abbaas said, The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said:
سووا بين أولادكم في العطية , ولو كنت مؤثرا لأحد لآثرت النساء على الرجال
“Treat your children fairly in giving gifts; and if I were to have given precedence to anyone, I would have given precedence to women over men.” [Sunan al Kubra by al Bayhaqi, The book of Gifts, 6/294, Ibn Hajar al Asqalani declared the chain to be Hasan in Fath al Bari 5/214, Shaykh Mu`allami said the mursal is saheeh and marfu is weak, sh Al Albani considered the Marfu one weak.]
42. Do not cheat your wives.
The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said:
لَا تَطْرُقُوا النِّسَاءَ لَيْلًا ، وَلَا تَعْتَرُوهُنَّ ”
O People do not (suddenly) come to women at night (without informing them) and do not cheat them. [Silsilah Ahadeeth as-Saheeha no. 3085]
Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar said:
فيقع الذي يهجم بعد طول الغيبة غالبا ما يكره ، إما أن يجد أهله على غير أهبة من التنظف والتزين المطلوب من المرأة فيكون ذلك سبب النفرة بينهما ، وقد أشار إلى ذلك بقوله في حديث الباب الذي بعده بقوله ” كي تستحد المغيبة ، وتمتشط الشعثة ”
The one who comes suddenly after a lengthy absence usually finds something he dislikes. Either he finds that his wife is not in the state of cleanliness and adornment that is required of a woman, so that causes alienation between them, and this was referred to in the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) in the hadeeth, “so that the woman whose husband has been absent may shave her pubes and the one who is dishevelled may comb her hair” [Fath al-Baari (9/123)]
43. A loving wife is a woman of paradise.
It is extremely easy for women to go to jannah, just be a romantic wife.
وأخرج البيهقي عن ابن عباس قال: قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم:
” ألا أخبركم برجالكم من أهل الجنة: النبي في الجنة، والصديق في الجنة، والشهيد في الجنة، والمولود في الجنة، ورجل زار أخاه في ناحية المصر يزوره في الله في الجنة، ونساؤكم من أهل الجنة الودود العدود على زوجها، التي إذا غضب جاءت حتى تضع يدها في يده، ثم تقول: لا أذوق غمضاً حتى ترضى
Ibn Abbas narrated that The Messenger of Allāh Ṣallallāhu-‘Alaihi Wa Sallam said: “Shall I not inform you regarding men of jannah?
Prophet is in jannah, as-Siddique (Truthful) is in jannah, Martyr is in jannah, child is in jannah,
And a man who visited his brother in another part of city and visited him for the sake of Allah is in Paradise.
And your women who are from jannah are those who love their husbands, if her husband becomes angry (due to any issue between them) she comes (to him) until she holds the hand of her husband then says: ‘By Allāh, I will not taste sleep until you are pleased’.”
(Taken from Durr ul Manthur under 4 : 34, Narrated by al Bayhaqi, an-Nasā`ī and aṭ-Ṭabarānī and declared ‘Ḥasan’ by al-Albānī in Saheeh al Jame and Silsilah as-Saheeha no. 3380)
She just need to be a romantic and loving wife whose husband is pleased with her. Whereas men have to take care of her, his parents, as per hadith he will be asked about his wife, he has to provide her, she don’t need to burden herself to earn under normal circumstances , and if she earns its her money, jihad is not an obligation on them, they don’t need to pray in their monthly cycle, many concessions are given to them, wearing gold, and silk is halal on them etc etc. BUT.. Yet they complain on small things. Allah made it too easy for you to go to jannah. Feminists have issue why a woman has to be romantic and loving, why she has to be crown of her husband. She needs no man. What a shame. The feminist need no husband but they have to follow order of her boss, many times make him comfortable and give him whatever he wants and indulge in haram.
44. al Irbad bin Saariyah went straight to his wife after hearing the hadith.
عن عرباض بن سارية قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه و سلم إذا سقى الرجل امرأته الماء أجرا فقمت إليها فسقيتها وأخبرتها بما سمعت
Al Irbad bin Saariyah narrated that I heard prophet peace be upon him:
A man will get reward even if he gives water to his wife.
He said, after hearing this I came to my wife gave her water and then narrated this hadith to her.
Tareekh al Kabeer, Musnad al Shameen at Tabarani, Musnad Ahmad 17155 authenticated by al Albani in Silsila al Sabina no. 2736 and researchers of Musnad.
How quick were the sahaba and sahabiyaat too on practicing upon the ahadith. This was romantic too.
45. You will be asked about your wife.
Abu Huraira said that the Prophet peace be upon him said Allah will ask:
ألم أزوجك فلانة خطبها الخطاب ، فمنعتهم وزوجتك ؟ .
Did I not marry you to So-and-so? Many sent her proposals, but I stopped them and married her to you? (Saheeh Ibn Hibban no. 7368
46. The righteous women.
Narrated Abu Huraira:
Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “The best women among the camel riders, are the women of Quraish.” (Another narrator said) The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “The righteous among the women of Quraish are those who are kind to their young ones and who look after their husband’s property . ”
Reference : Sahih al-Bukhari 5365
47. Sexual intercourse during monthly cycle and through her anus.
Abu Huraira reported Allah’s messenger peace be upon him as saying:
وَعَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: «مَنْ أَتَى كَاهِنًا فَصَدَّقَهُ بِمَا يَقُولُ أَوْ أَتَى امْرَأَتَهُ حَائِضًا أَو أَتَى امْرَأَته من دُبُرِهَا فَقَدْ بَرِئَ مِمَّا أُنْزِلَ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ» . رَوَاهُ أَحْمد وَأَبُو دَاوُد
“If anyone resorts to a kahin and believes him what he says, or has intercourse with his wife when she is menstruating, or has intercourse with his wife through her anus, he has nothing to do with what has been sent down to Muhammad.”
Ahmad and Abu Dawud transmitted it.
صَحِيحٌ (الألباني) حكم :
Reference : Mishkat al-Masabih 4599
48. If a husband invites his wife to bed and what if husband is harming the wife.
Abu Huraira (Allah he pleased with him) reported Allah’s Messenger (may, peace be upon him) as saying:
When a man invites his wife to his bed and she does not come, and he (the husband) spends the sight being angry with her, the angels curse her until morning. [Bukhari, Muslim]
Note if the husband is having a false character and is not fulfilling her rights then the situation is different, Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen may Allaah have mercy upon him said about another hadith:
“In brief, these words that were mentioned in the Hadeeth are general, but they are restricted to the husband fulfilling his wife’s rights. If he does not fulfill her rights, then she is entitled to demand her rights and deny his rights in the same manner that he denies her rights; Allaah says (what means): {So whoever has assaulted you, then assault him in the same way that he has assaulted you.} [Quran 2:194] Allaah says (what means): {And if you punish [an enemy, O believers], punish with an equivalent of that with which you were harmed.} [Quran 16:126]” [End of quote] [Taken from Islamweb]
Also, if she has an excuse or she is not well and he is unjust then obviously she is not to be blamed. Ibn Hajr wrote, which roughly means
، وقد يأتي لفظ المفاعلة ويراد بها نفس الفعل ولا يتجه عليها اللوم إلا إذا بدأت هي بالهجر فغضب هو لذلك أو هجرها وهي ظالمة فلم تستنصل من ذنبها وهجرته ، أما لو بدا هـو بهجرها ظالما لها فلا ،
… meaning if she is the one who started deserting than she is blamed otherwise if he is the one who started it (deserting), and is thus treating her unfairly, then she is not to blame… [Fath al Bari the commentary of the hadith 5193]
Shaykh Hatem al Haj was asked about a man who is not fulfilling his right and is wrong, what is his punishment. He replied: hellfire is he is not forgiven. As for this life, the wife may seek arbitration or even take him to court. The judges may discipline him or punish him. It is just not realistic to expect that the wife can do this on her own. (See screenshot from his Facebook page)
But, under normal/general circumstances she should give him what he wants, because he came from office, working all day long for his wife and children, faced a hundred situations , his boss said 10s of things and he is tired. He wants ease and tranquility. Only the wife can give him that and no one else. As Allah says:
And among His signs is this that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect.
Al Room verse 21.
al Qurtubi commented:
{ وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً } قال ابن عباس ومجاهد: المودّة الجماع، والرحمة الولد وقاله الحسن. وقيل: المودّة والرحمة عطفُ قلوبهم بعضهم على بعض. وقال السدي: المودةُ: المحبةُ، والرحمةُ: الشفقةُ ورُوي معناه عن ابن عباس قال: المودّة حبُّ الرجل امرأته، والرحمة رحمته إياها أن يصيبها بسوء.
{He has put between you affection and mercy.}
Ibn Abbas and Mujahid said: affection is sexual intercourse, and mercy is (their) child and this is what al Hasan said.
And it is said, Affection and mercy are the compassion of their hearts to one another.
as-Suddi said: Affection is Love and mercy is kindness. This meaning is also narrated by Ibn Abbas, he said: Affection is the love of a man for his wife, and mercy is his mercy for her (so that no one) afflict her with harm.
(Tafsir al Qurtubi, Surah al Rum verse 21)
Dr. Hatem al Haj said:
Weaponizing Intimacy: The Surest Way to Destroying a Marriage
Here is a hadith that many nowadays hesitate to share, but more than 30 years of religious marital counseling only add to my confidence in its authenticity:
“وَالَّذِي نَفْسُ مُحَمَّدٍ بِيَدِهِ لاَ تُؤَدِّي الْمَرْأَةُ حَقَّ رَبِّهَا حَتَّى تُؤَدِّيَ حَقَّ زَوْجِهَا وَلَوْ سَأَلَهَا نَفْسَهَا وَهِيَ عَلَى قَتَبٍ لَمْ تَمْنَعْهُ”
“By the One in Whose Hand is the soul of Muhammad, no woman can fulfill her duty towards Allah until she fulfills her duty towards her husband. If he asks her (for intimacy) even if she is on her camel saddle, she should not refuse.” [Ibn Mâjah. Deemed sound or authentic by many traditionists.]
Sleeping in a separate room can be a catalyst for the marriage’s demise. Communicate openly about your grievances. Show patience and kindness; they can soften the heart of a rock, and they may work with your husband. Seek arbitration if you are unable to solve your problems. Seek separation if all means to reforming the relationship fail and you feel that staying in the marriage will be destructive to your deen. However, do not use intimacy as a weapon to punish your husband or express your frustration. It only leads to harm, which is usually irreparable: either staying in a terrible marriage or having an ugly divorce.
وصلى الله على محمد والحمد لله رب العالمين
(end quote by Dr Hatem al Haj from his Facebook page)
49. The best of you is the one who is best to his wife and the most kind to them.
Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:
أَكْمَلُ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ إِيمَانًا أَحْسَنُهُمْ خُلُقًا وَخِيَارُكُمْ خِيَارُكُمْ لِنِسَائِهِمْ خُلُقًا
The most complete of the believers in faith are those with the most excellent character, and the best of you are the best in behavior to their women.
Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 1162, Grade: Sahih
It is mentioned in Islamweb fatwa number 69672
إن إكرام المرأة دليل على الشخصية المتكاملة، وإهانتها دليل على الخسة واللؤم، فما أكرم النساء إلا كريم، وما أهانهن إلا لئيم.
“Respecting women is an indication of one’s integrity, while demeaning them is a sign of weakness and meanness. Only noble individuals honor women, and only vile ones disrespect them.” (End quote)
Abdullah ibn Amr reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:
خِيَارُكُمْ خِيَارُكُمْ لِنِسَائِهِمْ
The best of you are the best to their women.
Source: Sunan Ibn Mājah 1978, Grade: Sahih
Aisha reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:
خَيْرُكُمْ خَيْرُكُمْ لِأَهْلِهِ
The best of you are the best to their families, and I am the best to my family.
Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 3895, Grade: Sahih
In another narration, the Prophet said:
وَأَلْطَفُهُمْ بِأَهْلِهِ
And who are most kind to their families.
Source: Sunan al-Tirmīdhi 2612, Grade: Hasan as per Tirmidhi and Sahih lighirihi as per al Arnaoot in Takhreej al Musnad no. 24204
50. When a woman servant stood against Pharaoh.
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“On the night on which I was taken on the Night Journey (Isra’), a beautiful fragrance came to me. I said: O Jibreel, what is this beautiful fragrance?
He said: This is the fragrance of the hairdresser of Pharaoh’s daughter and her (hairdresser’s) children. I said: What is their story?
He said: Whilst she was combing the hair of Pharaoh’s daughter one day, the iron comb fell from her hand and she said, ‘Bismillaah (in the name of Allaah).’
The daughter of Pharaoh said: ‘(you mean in the name of) My father?’ She said: ‘No. My Lord and the Lord of your father is Allaah.’
She said: ‘I will tell him about that.’ She said: ‘Yes (go on as I don’t fear him).
So she told him (pharaoh) and he summoned her and said: ‘O So and so, do you have a Lord other than me?’ She said: ‘Yes, my Lord and your Lord is Allaah.’
He ordered that a baqarah (a vast pot in which even a cow can be held in it) made of copper be heated up, then he ordered that she and her children be thrown into it.
She said: ‘I have a request to make of you.’ He said: ‘What is your request?’ She said: ‘I would like my bones and my children’s bones to be gathered together in one cloth and buried.’
He said: ‘This will be done for you.’ He ordered that her children be thrown into it in front of her, one by one, until they came to the last one who was an infant boy who was still being breastfed.
It was as if she wavered because of him, but he (the infant spoke) saying: ‘O mother, go ahead, for the punishment of this world is easier to bear than the punishment of the hereafter.’ So she went ahead.”
Narrated by Imam Ahmad in al-Musnad (1/309), al-Tabaraani (12280), Ibn Hibbaan (2903) and al-Haakim (2/496). Al-Dhahabi said in al‘Aluw (84): This hadeeth has a hasan isnaad. Ibn Katheer said in al-Tafseer (3/15): There is nothing wrong with its isnaad. Its isnaad was classed as saheeh by the scholar Ahmad Shaakir in his commentary on al-Musnad (4/295). Al-Arna’oot said in Takhreej al-Musnad (5/30-31, no. 2821): Its isnaad is hasan. Islamqa
51. Honor of a Muslim woman.
When some of the Jews of Banu Qaynuqaa‘ harassed a Muslim woman in the marketplace and did a trick to expose her ‘nakedness, and they challenged the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) to fight, saying:
O Muhammad, do not be deceived by the fact that you killed some of Quraysh, for they were unskilled and did not know how to fight; but if you fight us you will find out that we are real men.
[Classed as hasan by Ibn Hajar in Fath al-Baari (7/332)]The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) confronted them and expelled them from Madinah. That happened in Shawwaal of 2 AH. [Islamqa]
52. The torture pharaoh gave to one of the best woman of this world, Aasiya aliyha as Salam.
The Messenger of Allah peace be upon him said:
” إن فرعون أوتد لامرأته أربعة أوتاد في يديها و رجليها ، فكان إذا تفرقوا عنها ظللتها الملائكة ، فقالت : ﴿ رب ابن لي عندك بيتا في الجنة و نجني من فرعون و عمله و نجني من القوم الظالمين ﴾ فكشف لها عن بيتها في الجنة “ .
Pharaoh imprisoned his wife with four pegs (bolts). Two on her hands and two on her feet. When the guards separated from her, The Angels would give her shade then she prayed:
“My Lord! Build me a house in Paradise near You, deliver me from Pharaoh and his ˹evil˺ doing, and save me from the wrongdoing people.”
So Allah showed to her, her house in jannah.
[ الصحيحة ٢٥٠٨ ]Pegs on her hands and feet. That is horrible and worst type of torture.
53. What if the guardian is preventing the woman to marry the suitor of her choice who is suitable for her, and forcing her to marry the man of his interest?
Ibn Abbas said:
أن رجلاً قال : يا رسول الله ، في حجري يتيمة قد خطبها رجل موسر ورجل معدم ، فنحن نحب الموسر ، وهي تحب المعدم ، فقال – صلى الله عليه وسلم – : لم ير للمتحابين مثل النكاح
A Man said: O Messenger of Allah, I have raised an Orphan girl and there are two proposals for her, a Rich and a poor. I want her to marry the rich person but she wants to marry the poor one, what should I do?
the Messenger of Allah said: “There is nothing like marriage, for two who love one another.”
[Mustadrak al Haakim 2/160, Bayhaqi in Kitab al Nikah 7/78, al Albani authenticated in as-Saheeha and in Saheeh al Jaam`e]54. An interesting narration about a marriage where a girl was not willing to Marry Ibn Umar ra.
It is for those who say, we want good for our daughter who can not take decesion, that is why her consent is not that important.
Ibn Umar ra said:
توفي عثمان بن مظعون وترك ابنة له من خويلة بنت حكيم بن أمية بن حارثة بن الأوقص قال وأوصى إلى أخيه قدامة بن مظعون قال عبد الله وهما خالاي قال فمضيت إلى قدامة بن مظعون أخطب ابنة عثمان بن مظعون فزوجنيها ودخل المغيرة بن شعبة يعني إلى أمها فأرغبها في المال فحطت إليه وحطت الجارية إلى هوى أمها فأبيا حتى ارتفع أمرهما إلى رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال قدامة بن مظعون يا رسول الله ابنة أخي أوصى بها إلي فزوجتها ابن عمتها عبد الله بن عمر فلم أقصر بها في الصلاح ولا في الكفاءة ولكنها امرأة وإنما حطت إلى هوى أمها قال فقال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم هي يتيمة ولا تنكح إلا بإذنها قال فانتزعت والله مني بعد أن ملكتها فزوجوها المغيرة بن شعبة
When Uthman bin Maz`oon ra died, he left a daughter from Khuwayla bint Hakeem. Uthman had a wasiyah that his brother Qudama bin Maz`oon will be wali of his daughter after his death.
Ibn Umar ra said: Uthman and Qudama are my maternal uncles, I asked from Qudama bin Maz`oon the hand of his niece, and Qudama did her nikah with me.
Her mother wanted to marry her daughter with Mugheera bin Sho`ba because he was rich, and her daughter was also in agreement with her mother.
When the matter came to the Prophet peace be upon him, Qudama bin Maz`oon said:
O Prophet of Allah (peace be upon him) she is the daughter of my brother who advised that I am her guardian after him, so i did her nikah with the son of her paternal aunt, Ibn Umar. I have not left anything to find a good suitor for her. She is a girl and following her mother (who wanted to Marry her with Mugheera bin Sho`ba).
The Prophet peace be upon him said: She is an orphan, do not marry her without her consent.
Ibn Umar ra said: She was taken from me even though we had a nikah, and then they did her nikah with Mugheera bin Sho`bah. [Musnad Ahmad 17/181, Shuaib al Arna`oot said: The chain is Hasan, Ahmad Shakir authenticated, al Haythamee said: Narrated by Ahmad and Its narrators are trustworthy”]
The narration of Ibn Maja which is short states
It was narrated from Ibn Umar that:
. أَنَّهُ حِينَ هَلَكَ عُثْمَانُ بْنُ مَظْعُونٍ تَرَكَ ابْنَةً لَهُ . قَالَ ابْنُ عُمَرَ فَزَوَّجَنِيهَا خَالِي قُدَامَةُ وَهُوَ عَمُّهَا وَلَمْ يُشَاوِرْهَا وَذَلِكَ بَعْدَ مَا هَلَكَ أَبُوهَا فَكَرِهَتْ نِكَاحَهُ وَأَحَبَّتِ الْجَارِيَةُ أَنْ يُزَوِّجَهَا الْمُغِيرَةَ بْنَ شُعْبَةَ فَزَوَّجَهَا إِيَّاهُ .
when Uthman bin Mazun died, he left behind a daughter. Ibn Umar said: “My maternal uncle Qudamah, who was her paternal uncle, married me to her, but he did not consult her. That was after her father had died. She did not like this marriage, and the girl wanted to marry Mughirah bin Shubah, so she married him.”[Ibn Maja Hadith 1878]
55. Daughters are protection for parents from hellfire and Jihad and sadaqa are not binding if someone is having 3 daughters.
al-Khara’iti narrated:
عَنْ أَبِي وَائِلٍ، قَالَ: أَقْبَلَتِ ابْنَةٌ لِعَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ مَسْعُودٍ، وَهِيَ جَارِيَةٌ صَغِيرَةٌ، فَضَمَّهَا إِلَى نَحْرِهِ، ثُمَّ قَبَّلَهَا، ثُمَّ قَالَ: يَا مَرْحَبًا، يَا سَتْرَ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ مِنَ النَّارِ،
Little daughter of Ibn Masood came to him while running, he took her, hugged and kissed her. And said, Ya Marhaba (Welcome) O protection of Abdullah from the fire. [Makarim al Akhlaq no. 634]
al Iraqi said the chain is weak.
إتحاف السادة المتقين بشرح إحياء علوم الدين 6/198
But the meaning is sahih as Prophet peace be upon him said:
“He who is involved (in the responsibility) of (bringing up) daughters, and he is benevolent towards them, they would become protection for him against Hell-fire”.
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim]. [Riyad as-Salihin 268az-Zuhri said
« من ابتلي بابنة فأحسن إليها أدخلته الجنة ومن ابتلي باثنتين فاحتسب فيهما الخير سترتاه من النار ومن ابتلي بثلاث فإنهم كانوا لا يرون عليه جهادا ولا صدقة »
Whoever is tested with a daughter and does good to her, he will be admitted to Paradise, and whoever is tested with two daughters and he seeks good (from Allah due to raising them) they will protect hI’m from the Fire, and whoever is tested with three, they (Tabiyeen) did not see jihad or charity binding upon him.
(النفقۃ by Ibn abi dunia : 93 the chain is authentic as per the researcher of the book)
Abu bakr and Aisha his daughter.
Al Bara said:
قَالَ الْبَرَاءُ فَدَخَلْتُ مَعَ أَبِي بَكْرٍ عَلَى أَهْلِهِ، فَإِذَا عَائِشَةُ ابْنَتُهُ مُضْطَجِعَةٌ، قَدْ أَصَابَتْهَا حُمَّى، فَرَأَيْتُ أَبَاهَا فَقَبَّلَ خَدَّهَا، وَقَالَ كَيْفَ أَنْتِ يَا بُنَيَّةُ
I went with Abu Bakr into his home (carrying that saddle) and there I saw his daughter `Aisha Lying in a bed because of heavy fever and I saw her father Abu Bakr kissing her cheek and saying, “How are you, little daughter?”
Reference : Sahih al-Bukhari 3918
56. When a black slave woman was accused of stealing and she accepted Islam due to vulgar behavior of polytheists.
Narrated `Aisha:
There was a black slave girl belonging to an ‘Arab tribe and they manumitted her but she remained with them. The slave girl said, “Once one of their girls (of that tribe) came out wearing a red leather scarf decorated with precious stones. It fell from her or she placed it somewhere. A kite passed by that place, saw it Lying there and mistaking it for a piece of meat, flew away with it. Those people searched for it but they did not find it. So they accused me of stealing it and started searching me and even searched my private parts.” The slave girl further said, “By Allah! while I was standing (in that state) with those people, the same kite passed by them and dropped the red scarf and it fell amongst them. I told them, ‘This is what you accused me of and I was innocent and now this is it.’ ” `Aisha added: That slave girl came to Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) and embraced Islam. She had a tent or a small room with a low roof in the mosque. Whenever she called on me, she had a talk with me and whenever she sat with me, she would recite the following: “The day of the scarf (band) was one of the wonders of our Lord, verily He rescued me from the disbelievers’ town. `Aisha added: “Once I asked her, ‘What is the matter with you? Whenever you sit with me, you aways recite these poetic verses.’ On that she told me the whole story. ”
Sahih al Bukhari no. 439
57. Meeting Allah without any sin.
Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger of Allah(peace be upon him) said:
“Trials will not cease afflicting the believing man and the believing woman in their self, children, and wealth, until they meet Allah without having any sin.”
حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ عَبْدِ الأَعْلَى، حَدَّثَنَا يَزِيدُ بْنُ زُرَيْعٍ، عَنْ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ عَمْرٍو، عَنْ أَبِي سَلَمَةَ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم “ مَا يَزَالُ الْبَلاَءُ بِالْمُؤْمِنِ وَالْمُؤْمِنَةِ فِي نَفْسِهِ وَوَلَدِهِ وَمَالِهِ حَتَّى يَلْقَى اللَّهَ وَمَا عَلَيْهِ خَطِيئَةٌ ” . قَالَ أَبُو عِيسَى هَذَا حَدِيثٌ حَسَنٌ صَحِيحٌ .
Grade: Hasan (Darussalam)
Reference : Jami` at-Tirmidhi 2399
58. Do the solar and the lunar eclipses have any kind of impact on a pregnant woman or on her child?
the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: “The Sun and the moon are indeed two signs (evidences, proofs…) of the signs of Allah. And the lunar or solar eclipse do not happen because of the death or the life of any person.” In another narration the following is added: “He frightens His slaves with them (the Solar and Lunar eclipses).”
Following is the Answer by Muftis of Islamweb
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
Solar and lunar eclipses do not effect a pregnant woman or her fetus, as there is no confirmation in the Book (of Allah) or the Sunnah (of the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) about this impact.
You have to know – may Allah bless you – that the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: “The Sun and the moon are indeed two signs (evidences, proofs…) of the signs of Allah. And the lunar or solar eclipse do not happen because of the death or the life of any person.” In another narration the following is added: “He frightens His slaves with them (the Solar and Lunar eclipses).”
The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said this in response to those who claimed that the Solar eclipse occurred due to the death of Ibrahim, the son of the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam).
Therefore, one should not believe that solar or lunar eclipses have any impact or effect on what occurs on earth, except if it is scientifically proven that the rays of the Sun have a particular effect on human beings at that Particular time; in that case it can be taken into consideration.
Allah knows best. (Islamweb)
59. A woman can present herself to a righteous man (for marriage)
Narrated Thabit Al-Banani:
I was with Anas while his daughter was present with him. Anas said, “A woman came to Allah’s Apostle and presented herself to him, saying, ‘O Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ), have you any need for me (i.e. would you like to marry me)?’ “Thereupon Anas’s daughter said, “What a shameless lady she was ! Shame! Shame!” Anas said, “She was better than you; she had a liking for the Prophet (ﷺ) so she presented herself for marriage to him.”
Reference : Sahih al-Bukhari 5120
Ibn Hajr commented:
وفي الحديثين جواز عرض المرأة نفسها على الرجل وتعريفه رغبتها فيه وأن لا غضاضة عليها في ذلك ، وأن الذي تعرض المرأة نفسها عليه بالاختيار لكن لا ينبغي أن يصرح لها بالرد بل يكفي السكوت .
According to these two ahadith It is allowed for a woman to present herself to a man and (letting him know about) her wish to marry, there is nothing wrong in it… And it is not appropriate for him to reject clearly (if he don’t like the proposal), rather it is enough to remain silent. [Fath al Bari under 5121]
60. Wearing perfume for women after taking a Bath of menses.
Imam Bukhari made a chapter
“Putting perfume by woman at the time of taking a bath after finishing from the menses” [Sahih al Bukhari, Book of Menstrual Periods, chapter 12]
Ibn Hajr al Asqalani said in the commentary:
أن تطيب المرأة عند الغسل من الحيض متأكد بحيث إنه رخص للحادة التي حرم عليها استعمال الطيب في شيء منه مخصوص .
Putting perfume by a woman at the time of taking bath is emphasised, It is even allowed for a widow (after a bath), even though she is not allowed to put perfume (other than the bath of Hayd) for 4 months and 10 days. [Fath al Bari, Kitab al Hayd, under chapter 12]
Narrated `Aisha:
A woman asked the Prophet (peace be upon him) about the bath which is taken after finishing from the menses. The Prophet (peace be upon him) told her what to do and said, “Purify yourself with a piece of cloth scented with musk.” The woman asked, “How shall I purify myself with it” He said, “Subhan Allah! Purify yourself (with it).” I (Aisha) pulled her to myself and said, “Rub the place soiled with blood with it.” [Sahih al-Bukhari 315]
61. A sahabi who asked Prophet peace be upon him to marry his friend from the days of Jahiliyah. Iman Boosting narration.
Tirmidhi and an-Nasai narrated
There was a strong man named Marthad (when he became Muslim and did Hijrah, Prophet peace be upon him chose him to) carry captives from Makkah to Al-Madinah.”
He said: “And there was a prostitute woman in Makkah called ‘Anaq, who was a friend of his (in the days of Jhiliyah).
He had promised a man from the captives of Makkah that he would transport him, and he said: ‘So I came until I reached one of the walls of Makkah on a moon-lit night.’
He said “‘Anaq came along and she saw the darkness of my shadow next to the wall. When she reached me she recognized me and said: “Marthad?” So I replied: “(Yes it is) Marthad.”
She said: “Welcome, come and spend the night with us.”
I said: “O ‘Anaq! Allah has made illicit sexual relations unlawful.”
So she said (in anger): “O people of the tents! That is the man who takes your captives away!”
He said: “Eight people followed me, and I went through the passes of Al-Khandamah. (A place). I stopped at a cave and entered it.
They came until they stood over my head, and they began urinating, their urine falling on my head. Yet Allah made them unable to see me. He said: ‘Then I went back (to Mecca and didn’t retreat). I returned to my companion to transport him – and he was a heavy man – until I reached Al-Idhkir (a place outside Mecca).
There I removed his shackles to make him easier to carry, since he was exhausting me, until I arrived at Al-Madinah. I went to the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) and I said “O Messenger of Allah! May I marry ‘Anaq? (Due to his love for her even though she almost killed him) [I said this, two times] but the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) was silent, and he did not reply to me at all until (the following) was revealed:
The Zani marries not but a Zaniyah or a Mushrikah; and the Zaniyah, none marries her except a Zani or a Mushrik (24:3). So do not marry her.'” (So he submitted himself to Quran and didn’t marry her).
Jami` at-Tirmidhi 3177, Sunan an-Nasa’i 3228 graded Hasan by Tirmidhi, al Albani and Dar us salam.
62. I wanted women to know their fathers don’t have any right to marry their daughters against their will.
It was narrated from Ibn Buraidah that:
his father said: “A girl came to the Prophet and said: ‘My father married me to his brother’s son so that he might raise his status thereby.’ The Prophet gave her the choice, and she said: ‘I approve of what my father did, BUT I WANTED WOMEN TO KNOW THAT THEIR FATHERS HAVE NO RIGHT TO DO THAT.’
[Ibn Maja Vol. 3, Book 9, Hadith 1874]63. BUT I WANTED TO KNOW WHETHER THE WOMEN HAVE ANY SAY IN THIS MATTER.
It was narrated from ‘Aishah:
“A girl came to her and said: ‘My father married me to his brother’s son so that he might raise his own status thereby, and I was unwilling.’ She said: ‘Sit here until the Prophet comes.’ Then the Messenger of Allah came, and I told him (what she had said). He sent word to her father, calling him, and he left the matter up to her. She said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, I ACCEPT WHAT MY FATHER DID, BUT I WANTED TO KNOW WHETHER THE WOMEN HAVE ANY SAY IN THIS MATTER.
[Sunan an-Nasa’i 3269]64. HE peace be upon him ANNULLED THE MARRIAGE ARRANGED BY HER FATHER
Abdur Rahman bin Yazid Al-Ansari and Mujamma bin Yazid Al-Ansari said:
that a man among them who was called Khidam arranged a marriage for his daughter, and she did not like the marriage arranged by her father. She went to the Messenger of Allah and told him about that, AND HE ANNULLED THE MARRIAGE ARRANGED BY HER FATHER. THEN SHE MARRIED ABU LUBABAH BIN ABDUL MUNDHIR.
[Ibn Maja Vol. 3, Book 9, Hadith 1873]65. the Prophet (ﷺ) allowed her to exercise her choice.
Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas:
A virgin came to the Prophet (ﷺ) and mentioned that her father had married her against her will, so the Prophet (ﷺ) allowed her to exercise her choice.
Reference : Sunan Abi Dawud 2096
66. In man’s sexual Intercourse with his wife there is a Sadaqa.
Abu Dharr reported: That Prophet peace be upon him said
…in man’s sexual Intercourse (with his wife, ) there is a Sadaqa. They (the Companions) said: Messenger of Allah, is there reward for him who satisfies his sexual passion among us? He said: Tell me, if he were to devote it to something forbidden, would it not be a sin on his part? Similarly, if he were to devote it to something lawful, he should have a reward. [Sahih Muslim 1006]
67. Sexual Intercourse in Ramadan.
a) Narrated Abu Huraira:
While we were sitting with the Prophet (peace be ipon him) a man came and said, “O Allah’s Messenger (peace be ipon him) ! I have been ruined.” Allah’s Messenger (peace be ipon him) asked what was the matter with him. He replied “I had sexual intercourse with my wife while I was fasting.” Allah’s Messenger (peace be ipon him) asked him, “Can you afford to manumit a slave?” He replied in the negative. Allah’s Messenger (peace be ipon him) asked him, “Can you fast for two successive months?” He replied in the negative. The Prophet (peace be ipon him) asked him, “Can you afford to feed sixty poor persons?” He replied in the negative. The Prophet (peace be upon him) kept silent and while we were in that state, a big basket full of dates was brought to the Prophet (peace be ipon him) . He asked, “Where is the questioner?” He replied, “I (am here).” The Prophet (peace be ipon him) said (to him), “Take this (basket of dates) and give it in charity.” The man said, “Should I give it to a person poorer than I? By Allah; there is no family between its (i.e. Medina’s) two mountains who are poorer than I.” The Prophet (peace be upon him) smiled till his premolar teeth became visible and then said, ‘Feed your family with it.”
[Sahih al-Bukhari 1936]68. Marrying a virgin and playing with her.
Prophet peace be upon him said to a sahabi: “Why didn’t you marry a young girl (Virgin) so that you may play with her and she with you?” (Bukhari)
a) Ibn Hajr al asqalani commented
وفيه إشارة إلى مص لسانها ورشف شفتيها ، وذلك يقع عند الملاعبة والتقبيل ، وليس هو ببعيد كما قال القرطبي
“It refers to sucking her tongue and lips, and this happens when playing with one’s wife and kissing her, so this meaning is very possible as al Qurtubi mentioned”. [Fath al Bari, Kitab an Nikah under the hadith 5079-5080]
b) Imaam An-Nawawi may Allaah have mercy upon him said:
قال : وقد حمل جمهور المتكلمين في شرح هذا الحديث قوله صلى الله عليه وسلم : ( تلاعبها ) على اللعب المعروف ويؤيده ” تضاحكها وتضاحكك ”
”He (Qaadi) said: Majority of the theologians explained the Prophetic expression by the usual play, and this view is supported by the expression ”…so that you may laugh with her and she may laugh with you”. [Sharah Saheeh Muslim End of quote].
69. Prophet peace be upon him advised Ali radhiAllahanho to live with Fatima radhiAllahanha in best way.
at-Tabrani narrated
خَطَبَ عَلِيٌّ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى عَنْهُ إِلَى رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَاطِمَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى عَنْهَا ، فَقَالَ : ” هِي لَكَ عَلَى أَنْ تُحْسِنَ صُحْبَتَهَا ” .
When Ali ra asked the hand of Fatima ra from Prophet peace be upon him for marriage, He (peace be upon him) said: “She is yours if you live with her in a best way”. [al Mu`ajam al Kabeer Tabrani 3570, Silsilah as-Saheeha no. 166]
70. Playing with wife is rewardable act.
Prophet peace be upon him said:
All things that a Muslim man does for entertainment are in vain except for shooting arrows, training his horse and playing with his wife, for these are things that bring reward.” [Ibn Maja, Vol. 4, Book 24, Hadith 2811, Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1637]
Some say the hadith is sahih others claim it is weak, but it is sunnah to play with wives as it is authentic from ‘Aishah that she said:
“The Prophet raced with me and I beat him.”
حَدَّثَنَا هِشَامُ بْنُ عَمَّارٍ، حَدَّثَنَا سُفْيَانُ بْنُ عُيَيْنَةَ، عَنْ هِشَامِ بْنِ عُرْوَةَ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ عَائِشَةَ، قَالَتْ سَابَقَنِي النَّبِيُّ ـ صلى الله عليه وسلم ـ فَسَبَقْتُهُ .
Grade: Sahih (Darussalam)
Reference : Sunan Ibn Majah 1979
And in another hadith they raced again and Prophet peace be upon him won.
Men need to understand that they should set aside their ego and be playful with their wife like a child, embracing a carefree and joyful spirit in their relationship.
Ibn Mufleh Hanbali said:
فَصْلٌ فِي اسْتِحْبَابِ الِانْبِسَاطِ وَالْمُدَاعَبَةِ وَالْمُزَاحِ مَعَ الزَّوْجَةِ وَالْوَلَدِ
Chapter on the recommendation of being playful, joking, and teasing with one’s wife and children.
Ibn Mufleh said: Ibn Aqil said:
وَالْعَاقِلُ إذَا خَلَا بِزَوْجَاتِهِ وَإِمَائِهِ تَرَكَ الْعَقْلَ فِي زَاوِيَةٍ كَالشَّيْخِ الْمُوَقَّرِ وَدَاعَبَ وَمَازَحَ وَهَازَلَ لِيُعْطِيَ الزَّوْجَةَ وَالنَّفْسَ حَقَّهُمَا، وَإِنْ خَلَا بِأَطْفَالِهِ خَرَجَ فِي صُورَةِ طِفْلٍ، وَيُهْجِرُ فِي ذَلِكَ الْوَقْتِ
“When a wise man is alone with his wife, instead of pretending to be a respected elder, he leaves his wisdom in some corner and enjoys playful joking and laughter with her, thereby giving both himself and his wife their due rights. When he is with his children, he becomes a child himself.”
al Funun li Ibn Aqil quoted by Ibn Mufleh in Adaab al shariyah 3/239
71. If Aisha is not invited to the feast then No I will not go.
Anas reported that Allah’s Messenger (صلى الله عليه وسلم ) had a neighbour who was Persian (by descent), and he was expert in the preparation of soup.
He prepared (soup) for Allah’s Messenger (صلى الله عليه وسلم ) and then came to him to invite him (to that feast). He (Allah’s Messenger) asked referring to Aisha:
And her? (i.e. is she invited as well?).
He said: No.
Thereupon Allah’s Messenger (صلى الله عليه وسلم ) also said: No (then I cannot join the feast).
He returned inviting him, and Allah’s Messenger (صلى الله عليه وسلم ) asked: And her? He said: No.
Thereupon Allah’s Messenger (صلى الله عليه وسلم ) also said: No (and declined his offer).
He returned again to invite him and Allah’s Messenger (صلى الله عليه وسلم ) again asked: And her? He (the host) said:” Yes” for the third time.
Then he accepted his invitation, and both of them set out hurriedly until they came to his house.
Reference : Sahih Muslim 2037
72. Divorce/Talaaq three times in one sitting is Prohibited
أَخْبَرَنَا سُلَيْمَانُ بْنُ دَاوُدَ ، عَنْ ابْنِ وَهْبٍ ، قَالَ : أَخْبَرَنِي مَخْرَمَةُ ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ ، قَالَ : سَمِعْتُ مَحْمُودَ بْنَ لَبِيدٍ ، قَالَ : ” أُخْبِرَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ عَنْ رَجُلٍ طَلَّقَ امْرَأَتَهُ ثَلَاثَ تَطْلِيقَاتٍ جَمِيعًا ، فَقَامَ غَضْبَانًا ، ثُمَّ قَالَ : ” أَيُلْعَبُ بِكِتَابِ اللَّهِ ، وَأَنَا بَيْنَ أَظْهُرِكُمْ ” ، حَتَّى قَامَ رَجُلٌ وَقَالَ : يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ ، أَلَا أَقْتُلُهُ ؟ ..
Mahmood bin Lubayd (ra) narrates that the Prophet (Peace be upon him) was informed that a man divorced his wife with three pronoucments all-together, at this (The Prophet) became very angry, he stood up and said: Is the book of Allah being mocked at in my presence? Until one person stood and said O Allah’s Apostle should I not kill him? [Sunnan Nasai’i, Volume No. 2, Page No. 181] .
73. Preplanned Halala (Nikah al Tahleel) is haram.
Narrated Ibn Mas’ud (RA):
Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) cursed the man who made a woman lawful for her first husband and the one for whom she was made lawful (the men involved in Halalah). [Reported by Ahmad, an-Nasa’i and at-Tirmidhi; the latter declared it to be Sahih (authentic)].
وَعَنِ ابْنِ مَسْعُودٍ - رضى الله عنه - قَالَ : { لَعَنَ رَسُولُ اَللَّهِ - صلى الله عليه وسلم -اَلْمُحَلِّلَ وَالْمُحَلَّلَ لَهُ } رَوَاهُ أَحْمَدُ , وَالنَّسَائِيُّ , وَاَلتِّرْمِذِيُّ وَصَحَّحَهُ 1 .
Bulugh al-Maram: Book 8, Hadith 35
It is narrated from Naaf`e
” جاء رجل إلى ابن عمر رضى الله عنهما فسأله عن رجل طلق امرأته ثلاثا , فتزوجها أخ له من غير مؤامرة منه ليحلها لأخيه , هل تحل للأول؟ قال: لا , إلا نكاح رغبة , كنا نعد هذا سفاحا على عهد رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ”
A man came to Ibn Umar and asked him about a man who divorced his wife three [times] and then a brother of his married her without any Mu’aamara (deliberation, counsel, conference, plot, conspiracy) between them to make her permissible for his brother. Is she permissible for the first? He said: No, unless it is a Nikah Raghba (a Nikah in which both desire to marry one another). We used to consider this Sifaahaa (fornication) during the time of the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him).
[at-Tabrani in al Awsat 2/174, al Hakim in al Mustadrak 2.199 and said: Saheeh on the conditions of Shaykhayn (Bukhari and Muslim), ad-Dahabi agreed with him, al Haythamee said in “Majma az Zawaid” 4/267 that Narrated by at-Tabrani in al Awsat and its narrators are the narrators of Saheeh, Shaykh al Albani said: Its authentic in “al Irwa al Ghaleel no. 1898] .74. Sexual weakness and taking medicines
It was narrated that ‘Aishah said:
“The wife of Rifa’ah came to the Messenger of Allah and said: ‘Rifa’ah divorced me and made it irrevocable. Then I married ‘Abdur-Rahman bin Az-Zubair, and what he has is like the fringe of a garment (Meaning he is not strong enough and unable to intercourse, Narration of Malik’s Muwatta states he was unable to touch her, another narration states، فجعل رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم يعرض عن كلامها Prophet peace be upon him tried to turn away from her question as it was about her husband’s weakness The Messenger of Allah smiled and said: ‘Do you want to go back to Rifa’ah? No, not unitl he (‘Abdur-Rahman) tastes your sweetness and you taste his sweetness.'”
Reference : Sunan an-Nasa’i 3283 Graded SAHIH.
The Prophet peace be upon him didn’t allow her to marry her previous husband because he gave her 3 divorces and she married another husband without plans to marry her first husband again. But she found out that the second husband is sexually weak so she wanted to go back to her first husband and Prophet peace be upon him said for that you both taste each other’s sweetness because marriage is not a joke
al Qurtubi said he should take medicines:
ثم عليه أن يَتَوخّى أوقات حاجتها إلى الرجل فيُعِفّها ويُغنيها عن التطلع إلى غيره. وإن رأى الرجُل من نفسه عجزا عن إقامة حقها في مضجعها أخذ من الأدْوِيّة التي تزيد في باهِه وتُقوّي شهوته حتى يُعفّها.
He should foresee the time of the woman’s need, And make her chaste and don’t give her opportunity to attract toward others (by satisfying her needs), And if he see that he is not satisfying her rights in bed than he should take medicine to increase his strength of desire until he become chaste. [Tafsir al Qurtubi under surah al Baqarah verse 228]
As per Saeed bin Musayyab (Tabiyee), “If someone marries a woman and cannot have intercourse with her, there is a deadline of a year set for him to have intercourse with her. If he does not, they are separated.”
Muwatta Maalik : Book 29, Hadith 74
75. Peaceful arguments between husband and wife.
It is narrated that the women of the Sahaabah used to argue and debate with them, and indeed this is the way in which the Mothers of the Believers [i.e., the Prophet’s wives] used to act with our Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), as ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab said to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “We Quraysh used to control our women, but when we came to the Ansaar we found that they were a people who were controlled by their women. So our women started to adopt the ways of the Ansaari women. I got angry with my wife and she argued with me and I did not like her arguing with me. She said, ‘Why do you object to me arguing with you? By Allaah, the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) argue with him…’” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4895; Muslim, 1479.
Al-Haafiz ibn Hajar said – discussing the lessons to be learned from this hadeeth –
“This indicates that being harsh with women is something blameworthy, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) adopted the way of the Ansaar with their women and forsook the way of his people.” Fath al-Baari, 9/291 Islamqa
76. When a husband do not spend reasonable on wife and children.
It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah said: “Hind bint ‘Utbah, the wife of Abu Sufyaan, entered upon the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, Abu Sufyaan is a stingy man who does not spend enough on me and my children, except for what I take from his wealth without his knowledge. Is there any sin on me for doing that?’ The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, ‘Take from his wealth on a reasonable basis, only what is sufficient for you and your children.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5049; Muslim, 1714)
77. A woman is a shaheed when she dies while giving a birth.
The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:..
وَالْمَرْأَةُ تَمُوتُ بِجُمْعٍ شَهَادَةٌ – يَعْنِي الْحَامِلَ
when a pregnant woman dies in childbirth that is martyrdom..
Reference : Sunan Ibn Majah 2803
78. How innocent were the acts of Sahabiyat. May Allah be pleased with them.
Unaisa bint Khubayb radhiAllah anha said that Prophet peace be upon him said:
عَنْ خُبَيْبِ بْنِ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ، عَنْ عَمَّتِهِ أُنَيْسَةَ بِنْتِ خُبَيْبٍ قَالَتْ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: «إِذَا أَذَّنَ ابْنُ أُمِّ مَكْتُومٍ فَكُلُوا وَاشْرَبُوا، وَإِذَا أَذَّنَ بِلَالٌ فَلَا تَأْكُلُوا وَلَا تَشْرَبُوا» ، فَإِنْ كَانَتِ الْمَرْأَةُ مِنَّا لَيَبْقَى عَلَيْهَا شَيْءٌ مِنْ سُحُورِهَا، فَتَقُولُ لِبِلَالٍ: أَمْهِلْ حَتَّى أَفْرَغَ مِنْ سُحُورِي
‘When Ibn Umm Maktum calls the Adhan, eat and drink, and when Bilal calls the Adhan, do not eat nor drink.”
She said: If there was something remaining from the suhoor of the women, we (the women) would say to Bilal. Stop (from the adhan) until we complete our suhoor.
(Saheeh Ibn Khuzaima no. 404)
79. When Islam stopped prostitution business of Abdullah bin Ubayy, he started forcing and beating his slave girls for that.
In a narration he started beating them:
، فلما حرم الله الزنا قال لها: ما لك لا تزنين؟ قالت: لا والله لا أزني أبداً، فضربها، فأنزل الله { ولا تكرهوا فتياتكم على البغاء }.
When Allah forbade adultery, he said to her: Why don’t you fornicate? She said: No, by Allah, I will never commit fornication, so he beat her, and Allah sent this verse {And do not force your slave-girls into prostitution.}
(Durr ul Manthur under al Nur verse 33, al Suyuti said chain is authentic).
al Suyuti mentioned from Suddi that Prophet peace be upon him ordered Abu Bakr radhiAllahanho
فأمره بقبضها
to take the slave girl forcefully from Abdullah bin Ubayy. (Durr ul Manthur under al Nur verse 33)
Jabir reported that ‘Abdullah b. Ubayy b. Salul had two slave-girls; one was called Musaika and the other one was called Umaima and he compelled them to prostitution. They made a complaint about this to Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) and it was upon this that this verse was revealed:
” And compel not your slave-girls to prostitute” up to the words:” Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.”
[Sahih Muslim Book 43, Hadith 7181]al Nawawi mentioned 6 slave women who were forced to commit prostitution.
Abdullah bin Ubayy was Raees ul Munafiqeen due to various reasons, one of them was his prostitution business which came to an end after Islam.
If someone forces a girl into prostitution the sin is on pimp not the girl
It is attributed to Ibn Abbas
حدثنا علي ، قال : ثنا أبو صالح ، قال : ثني معاوية ، عن علي ، عن ابن عباس ، قوله : ( ولا تكرهوا فتياتكم على البغاء إن أردن تحصنا ) يقول : ولا تكرهوا إماءكم على الزنا ، فإن فعلتم فإن الله سبحانه لهن غفور رحيم ، وإثمهن على من أكرههن
that if someone forces his slave girl in fornication, Allah will forgive her and all of the sin will go to the one who forced them.(Tafsir at-Tabari under Surah Al Noor verse 33)
In short, Abdullah bin Ubay was a pimp too other than being a munafiq. He himself owned a regular house of prostitution in Madinah, which had six beautiful slave girls.
When the slave girls accepted Islam he started beating them as they said we will not fornicate or do prostitution for him no more.
Allah revealed verses in Quran in support of the girl Surah al Nur verse 33 and the Prophet peace be upon him ordered to to take slave girl forcefully from him.
And also, if someone force the girl into prostitution, all the sin will be on the pimp who is forcing. And Allah will forgive the salve girl. Says Ibn Abbas, Qatada, Mujahid etc.
80. Obeying husband is Only required in obedience to Allah otherwise there is no obedience to him.
a). Ibn Hibbaan narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If a woman prays her five (daily prayers), fasts her month (Ramadaan), guards her chastity and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: ‘Enter Paradise from whichever of the gates of Paradise you wish.’” Classed as saheeh by al-Albani in Saheeh al Jame no. 660
b) It was narrated from ‘Ali (رضي الله عنه) that the Prophet (ﷺ) said:
`There is no obedience to any created being if it involves disobedience to Allah, may He be glorified and exalted.”
حَدَّثَنَا عَبْد اللَّهِ، حَدَّثَنَا عُبَيْدُ اللَّهِ بْنُ عُمَرَ الْقَوَارِيرِيُّ، حَدَّثَنَا ابْنُ مَهْدِيٍّ، عَنْ سُفْيَانَ، عَنْ زُبَيْدٍ، عَنْ سَعْدِ بْنِ عُبَيْدَةَ، عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ السُّلَمِيِّ، عَنْ عَلِيٍّ، عَنْ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ لَا طَاعَةَ لِمَخْلُوقٍ فِي مَعْصِيَةِ اللَّهِ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ.
Grade: Lts isnad is Sahih
Reference : Musnad Ahmad 1095
c) Prophet peace be up on him said:
“ لاَ طَاعَةَ فِي مَعْصِيَةٍ، إِنَّمَا الطَّاعَةُ فِي الْمَعْرُوفِ
“No obedience for evil deeds, obedience is required only in what is good .”
al-Bukhari (7257)
She don’t need to obey him if he says don’t wear hijab or come in front of my friends without hijab or if he says something to go against any obligations for example Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said about an issue where a wife wants to pay zakaah on her jewellery and husband says you shouldn’t as it is not obligatory,
The shaykh replied she don’t have to obey him at all even is he is angry, he said:
أحدهما : أن نقول : وليكن ذلك ؛ لأن غضبه في رضى الله ليس بشيء .
والجواب الثاني : أن نقول : تداريه ، يعني : أخرجي الزكاة من حيث لا يعلم ، وبهذا تؤدين الزكاة الواجبة عليك وتسلمين من غضب الزوج وتنكيده عليك .
لكن نحن من هنا نخاطب الأزواج نقول لهم : اتقوا الله ! ما دامت الزوجة ترى الوجوب لا يحل لكم أن تمنعوها من أداء الواجب .
1 – We say: Let him be angry, for his anger is nothing in comparison to the pleasure of Allaah.
2 – We say: be diplomatic towards him, i.e., pay the zakaah in such a way that he does not know. Thus you will have paid the zakaah that is required of you and you will be safe from your husband’s anger.
But with regard to this matter we say to the husband: Fear Allaah! So long as the wife thinks that it is obligatory, it is not permissible for you to prevent them from paying zakaah.
Jalasaat Ramadaaniyyah 1412 AH, question no. 5. Islamqa
Husband does not have the right to prevent wife from visiting her parents.
a) Ibn Rushd said:
وسئل مالك عن المرأة يغيب عنها زوجها فيمرض أخوها أو أمها أو أختها فتريد أن تأتيهم تعودهم ولم يأذن لها زوجها حين خرج؟ قال: لا بأس أن تأتيهم وإن لم يأذن لها حين خرج.
Imam Malik was asked about a woman whose husband is away and her brother, Mother or sister is sick. And the husband did not permit her to visit them.
Malik replied: It is okay for her to come to them even if he did not permit her when he left.
البيان والتحصيل – ج 4
b) Ibn Nujaym (Hanafi) said:
ولو كان أبوها زمِنا مثلا ، وهو يحتاج إلى خدمتها ، والزوج يمنعها من تعاهده ، فعليها أن تعصيه ، مسلما كان الأب أو كافرا , كذا في فتح القدير . وقد استفيد مما ذكرناه أن لها الخروج إلى زيارة الأبوين والمحارم ، فعلى الصحيح المُفتى به : تخرج للوالدين في كل جمعة بإذنه وبغير إذنه ، ولزيارة المحارم في كل سنة مرة بإذنه وبغير إذن
If her father is chronically ill, for example, and he needs her to serve him, and the husband prevents her from looking after him, then she should disobey him, whether the father is a Muslim or a kaafir. This is what it says in Fath al-Qadeer. From what we have mentioned it may be understood that she may go out to visit her parents and mahrams, and according to the correct view she may go out to visit her parents once a week with or without his permission, and to visit her mahrams once a year with or without his permission. End quote from al-Bahr al-Raa’iq (4/212) Islamqa
c) The scholars who claim that Husband has right to stop his wife to visit her parents due to some VALID reasons only, for example they are asking her to leave him without any good reason or he thinks it will be a threat to his marriage or like that even they say husband should NOT stop her. For example Ibn Qudamah Hanbali said:
ولكن لا ينبغي للزوج منعها من عيادة والديها وزيارتهما ؛ لأن في ذلك قطيعة لهما ، وحملاً لزوجته على مخالفته ، وقد أمر الله تعالى بالمعاشرة بالمعروف ، وليس هذا من المعاشرة بالمعروف .
the husband should not prevent her from visiting her parents if they are sick or going to see them, because that is cutting of ties of kinship with them and may make his wife disobey him. Allaah has enjoined us to live with them honourably, and this is not living with them honourably.
Al-Mughni (8/130, Islamqa).
81. Daughters are precious.
Prophet peace be upon him said:
لا تكرهوا البنات؛ فإنَّهنَّ المؤنسات الغاليات
Don’t dislike your daughters because they are entertaining / Friendly (to their fathers as daughters and to husbands as companions) and they are so precious.
Shaykh al Albani weakened the hadith previously but after careful research he said the hadith is indeed Saheeh in Silsila as-Saheeha no. 3206
82. Killing the women in the war
Narrated Ibn `Umar:
During some of the Ghazawat of Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) a woman was found killed, so Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) forbade the killing of women and children.
حَدَّثَنَا إِسْحَاقُ بْنُ إِبْرَاهِيمَ، قَالَ قُلْتُ لأَبِي أُسَامَةَ حَدَّثَكُمْ عُبَيْدُ اللَّهِ، عَنْ نَافِعٍ، عَنِ ابْنِ عُمَرَ ـ رضى الله عنهما ـ قَالَ وُجِدَتِ امْرَأَةٌ مَقْتُولَةً فِي بَعْضِ مَغَازِي رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم، فَنَهَى رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم عَنْ قَتْلِ النِّسَاءِ وَالصِّبْيَانِ.
Reference : Sahih al-Bukhari 3015
83. Preferring sons over daughters.
Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas:
The Prophet (ﷺ) said:
عَنِ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم “ مَنْ كَانَتْ لَهُ أُنْثَى فَلَمْ يَئِدْهَا وَلَمْ يُهِنْهَا وَلَمْ يُؤْثِرْ وَلَدَهُ عَلَيْهَا – قَالَ يَعْنِي الذُّكُورَ – أَدْخَلَهُ اللَّهُ الْجَنَّةَ ” .
If anyone has a female child, and DOES NOT bury her alive, or slight her, or prefer his children (i.e. the male ones) to her, Allah will bring him into Paradise.
Reference : Sunan Abi Dawud no. 5146 , Kitab al Ayal Ibn Abi Dunia, weakened by some scholars like sh Al Albani and others because of one unknown narrator as per them, authenticated by Al Hakim, Dhahabi and Dr Najm ud din Khalf in his research of Kitab al Ayal, Shaykh Ahmad Shakir said “Hasan”.
Mulla Ali al Qari said:
وفيه إشارة إلى قوله تعالى : وإذا بشر أحدهم بالأنثى ظل وجهه مسودا وهو كظيم يتوارى من القوم من سوء ما بشر به أيمسكه على هون أم يدسه في التراب فالمعنى : ولم يمسكها على هوان ومذلة وحقارة ومشقة
In this hadith there is a reference to the saying of Allah (Surah al Nahl):
58. Whenever one of them is given the good news of a baby girl, his face grows gloomy, as he suppresses his rage. 59. He hides himself from the people because of the bad news he has received. Should he keep her in disgrace, or bury her ˹alive˺ in the ground? Evil indeed is their judgment!
(Mirqat Al Mafateeh no. 4979)
Daughters and men of high charachter.
Shaykh Saleh al Fawzan said:
رب بنت صالحة خير من ألف ابن..
Sometimes a pious daughter is better than a thousand sons.
Taken from Hafiz. Muhammad Tahir.
A brother mentioned that it was in a lecture dated ١٩-٣-١٤٤١
[ درس ليلة ١٩-٣-١٤٤١ ]Mufti of Baghdad of his time Allama al Alusi Hanafi said:
المعهود من ذوي المروءة جبر قلوب النساء لضعفهن، ولذا يندب للرجل إذا أعطى شيئًا لولده أن يبدأ
ﺑﺄﻧﺜﺎﻫﻢ
The practice of the Men with high character is that they win the hearts of women. As they are (physically) weak. That is why it is better when giving gifts to children, first give the gifts to daughters
[ Ruh al ma’ani 8/36 ]Note: Those scholars who weakened the chain of first hadith also agree that there are various ahadith in virtues of daughters for example:
Anas reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “I will enter the Garden with someone who brings up two daughters until they come of age, and we will be like these two,” and he indicated his index finger and middle finger.
Grade: Sahih (Al-Albani)
Reference : Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 894
84. Giving nicknames to wife.
What a cute love between Ammi Aisha and Prophet peace be upon him.
Aisha radhiAllahanha said:
” دَخَلَ الْحَبَشَةُ الْمَسْجِدَ يَلْعَبُونَ فَقَالَ لِي : يَا حُمَيْرَاءُ؛ أَتُحِبِّينَ أَنْ تَنْظُرِي إِلَيْهِمْ ؟ فَقُلْتُ : ” نَعَمْ ، فَقَامَ بِالْبَابِ وَجِئْتُهُ فَوَضَعْتُ ذَقَنِي عَلَى عَاتِقَهُ فَأَسْنَدْتُ وَجْهِي إِلَى خَدِّهِ ” قَالَتْ : ” وَمِنْ قَوْلِهِمْ يَوْمَئِذٍ أَبَا الْقَاسِمِ طَيِّبًا ” فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ : حَسْبُكِ فَقُلْتُ: يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ لَا تَعْجَلْ ، فَقَامَ لِي ثُمَّ قَالَ : حَسْبُكِ فَقُلْتُ: ” لَا تَعْجَلْ يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ ” قَالَتْ : ” وَمَا لِي حُبُّ النَّظَرِ إِلَيْهِمْ ، وَلَكِنِّي أَحْبَبْتُ أَنْ يَبْلُغَ النِّسَاءَ مَقَامُهُ لِي وَمَكَانِي مِنْهُ “.
“Habshi people entered the masjid playing, The Prophet said to me, Oh Humayra, do you like looking at them play? i replied yes. He stood by the door and i went to him and placed my chin on his shoulder, and leaned my face against his cheek, Those people repeated these words again and again on that day: “Abba al-Qasim Tayyaban” The Prophet (peace be upon him) asked me: “Is it enough now?” I said: O Messenger of Allah, do not hurry. He remained standing and (after some time) again asked: “Is it enough now?” I said: O Messenger of Allah, do not hurry. Actually I didn’t like to look at these people, I just wanted other women to know about my position in front of Prophet and his position in my eyes.
أخرجه النسائي في “السنن الكبرى” (8/ 181)، والطحاوي في “شرح مشكل الآثار” (1/ 268 وصححه ابن القطان في “أحكام النظر” (360)، والألباني في “السلسلة الصحيحة” (7/ 818)، وشعيب الأرناؤوط في “تخريج شرح مشكل الآثار” (292).
85. Don’t be ungrateful wife
عَنْ أَسْمَاءَ ابْنَةِ يَزِيدَ الأَنْصَارِيَّةِ، مَرَّ بِيَ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم وَأَنَا فِي جِوَارِ أَتْرَابٍ لِي، فَسَلَّمَ عَلَيْنَا وَقَالَ: إِيَّاكُنَّ وَكُفْرَ الْمُنْعِمِينَ، وَكُنْتُ مِنْ أَجْرَئِهِنَّ عَلَى مَسْأَلَتِهِ، فَقُلْتُ: يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ، وَمَا كُفْرُ الْمُنْعِمِينَ؟ قَالَ: لَعَلَّ إِحْدَاكُنَّ تَطُولُ أَيْمَتُهَا مِنْ أَبَوَيْهَا، ثُمَّ يَرْزُقُهَا اللَّهُ زَوْجًا، وَيَرْزُقُهَا مِنْهُ وَلَدًا، فَتَغْضَبُ الْغَضْبَةَ فَتَكْفُرُ فَتَقُولُ: مَا رَأَيْتُ مِنْكَ خَيْرًا قَطُّ
Asma’, the daughter of Yazid al-Ansari, said, “The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, passed by me while I was with some young slavegirls belonging to me. He greeted us and said, ‘Beware of the ingratitude of those with blessings.’ I was the boldest of them in coming forward to question him and I said, ‘Messenger of Allah, what is the ingratitude of those with blessings?’ He replied, ‘Perhaps one of them with remain unmarried for a long time with her parents and then Allah provides her with a husband and provides her with children from him and then she gets angry and is ungrateful and says, “I have never seen any good at all from you.
Graded Saheeh by al Albani in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad no. 1048
86. Prophet peace be upon him making Aisha radhiAllahanha laugh.
Once Abu Bakr radhiAllahanho heard that Aisha radhiAllahanha is saying something to Prophet peace be upon him in a loud voice, so he came and asked permission to come in, tried to grab his daughter but Prophet peace be upon him came in between them, Abu Bakr went out so Prophet said to Aisha to please her “Look, I have become a barrier between you and a man.” Then the hadith says:
: ثُمَّ جَاءَ أَبُو بَكْرٍ فَاسْتَأْذَنَ عَلَيْهِ ، فَوَجَدَهُ يُضَاحِكُهَا
Then Abu Bakr came and asked permission for him, and found that he (peace be upon him) is making her laugh.
الحديث صحح إسناده الحافظ ابن حجر في فتح الباري 7/ 27 وقال الهيثمي في مجمع الزوائد 9/ 127 رجاله رجال الصحيح وصححه الألباني في السلسلة الصحيحة
87. When Prophet peace be upon him saw a man who kissed his son and left his daughter.
Anas narrated:
أن رجلًا كان جالسًا مع النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم فجاء بُنيٌّ له، فأخذه فقبَّله وأجلسه في حجره، ثم جاءت بُنيَّةٌ له، فأخذها وأجلسها إلى جنبه، فقال النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم: فما عدلتَ بينهما
That a man was sitting with the Prophet and peace be upon him, his son came and he took him and kissed him and made him sit on his lap, then his daughter came and he took her and made her sit beside him, and the Prophet peace be upon him, said: Why didn’t you do justice between them?
Bayhaqi in Shuab al Iman 6/410, Silsilah Ahadeeth al Saheeha no. 2994
88. Husband wife fights and happiness of Iblis.
Jabir reported that Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said:
Iblis places his throne upon water; he then sends detachments (for creating dissension) ; the nearer to him in rank are those who are most notorious in creating dissension. One of them comes and says: “I did so and so.” And he says: “You have done nothing.” Then one amongst them comes and says: “I did not spare so and so until I sowed the seed of discord between a husband and a wife.” The Satan goes near him and says: “You have done well.” A’mash said: He then embraces him.
Reference : Sahih Muslim Hadith 6755
89. Cute moments of Prophet peace be upon him Zainab bint Umm ul Momineen Umm Salama.
Anas narrated
كان يلاعب زينب بنت ام سلمة وهو يقول: يا زوينب! يا زوينب، مرارا”.
Prophet peace be upon him would play with Zainab bint Umm Salama and he would call her (with love) oh Zuwaynib, oh Zuwaynib.
al Diya Maqdisi narrated in al mukhtarah 2/45 authenticated by al Albani in Silsilah ahadeeth al Saheeha no : 2141
Ibn Hajr mentioned a narration:
وروينا في «القطعيّات»، من طريق عطاف بن خالد، عن أمه، عن زينب بنت أبي سلمة، قالت: كان رسول اللَّه ﷺ إذا دخل يغتسل تقول أمي: ادخلي عليه، فإذا دخلت نضح في وجهي من الماء، ويقول: «ارجعي». قالت: فرأيت زينب وهي عجوز كبيرة ما نقص من وجهها شيء. وفي رواية ذكرها أبو عمر: فلم يزل ماء الشباب في وجهها حتى كبرت وعمرت.
The Prophet peace be upon him sprinkled water on her face out of compassion, due to which even in her old age she continued to have the appearance of youth on her face.
(الإصابة في تمييز الصحابة لابن حجر : ١٦٠/٨)
She was daughter of Abu Salama
90. A prostitute was forgiven due to her good treatment to a dog
Narrated Abu Huraira:
Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “A prostitute was forgiven by Allah, because, passing by a panting dog near a well and seeing that the dog was about to die of thirst, she took off her shoe, and tying it with her head-cover she drew out some water for it. So, Allah forgave her because of that.”
Reference : Sahih al-Bukhari 3321
In another hadith when a man was saved because he gave water to a dog:
قَالُوا يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ، وَإِنَّ لَنَا فِي الْبَهَائِمِ أَجْرًا قَالَ ” فِي كُلِّ كَبِدٍ رَطْبَةٍ أَجْرٌ ”.
The people asked, “O Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ)! Is there a reward for us in serving (the) animals?” He replied, “Yes, there is a reward for serving any animate.”
Reference : Sahih al-Bukhari 2363
91. a woman went to hell because of her bad treatment to a cat.
Narrated Ibn `Umar:
“ دَخَلَتِ امْرَأَةٌ النَّارَ فِي هِرَّةٍ رَبَطَتْهَا، فَلَمْ تُطْعِمْهَا، وَلَمْ تَدَعْهَا تَأْكُلُ مِنْ خِشَاشِ الأَرْضِ ”.
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “A woman entered the (Hell) Fire because of a cat which she had tied, neither giving it food nor setting it free to eat from the vermin of the earth. “
Reference : Sahih al-Bukhari 3318
The Prophet said that he saw this evil woman in Hellfire being continuously punished for her cruelty:
رَأَيْتُهَا تَنْهَشُهَا إِذَا أَقْبَلَتْ وَإِذَا وَلَّتْ تَنْهَشُ أَلْيَتَهَا
I saw the cat (taking revenge) snatching her front.. [‘Sunan an-Nasa’i’, 1482 ].
92. Paradise lies beneath her feet and doing jihad without consent of parents.
It was narrated from Mu’awiyah bin Jahimah As-Sulami, that Jahimah came to the Prophet (ﷺ) and said:
“O Messenger of Allah! I want to go out and fight (in Jihad) and I have come to ask your advice.” He said: “Do you have a mother?” He said: “Yes.” He said: “Then stay with her, for Paradise is beneath her feet.”
Reference : Sunan an-Nasa’i 3104, Al-Tabaraani (1/225/2).Grade: Sahih (Darussalam) al Albani, and by others such as Al-Haakim classed it as saheeh (4/151) and al-Dhahabi agreed with him, as did al-Mundhiri, 3/214.
Narrated `Abdullah bin `Amr:
A man came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) asking his permission to take part in Jihad. The Prophet (peace be upon him) asked him, “Are your parents alive?” He replied in the affirmative. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said to him, “Then exert yourself in their service.”[Sahih al-Bukhari 3004]
Ibn Hajr al Asqalani said:
قوله : ( فيهما فجاهد ) أي خصصهما بجهاد النفس في رضاهما ، ويستفاد منه جواز التعبير عن الشيء بضده إذا فهم المعنى ، لأن صيغة الأمر في قوله ” فجاهد ” ظاهرها إيصال الضرر الذي كان يحصل لغيرهما لهما ، وليس ذلك مرادا قطعا ، وإنما المراد إيصال القدر المشترك من كلفة الجهاد وهو تعب البدن والمال ، ويؤخذ منه أن كل شيء يتعب النفس يسمى جهادا ، وفيه أن بر الوالد قد يكون أفضل من الجهاد ، وأن المستشار يشير بالنصيحة المحضة ، وأن المكلف يستفضل عن الأفضل في أعمال الطاعة ليعمل به لأنه سمع فضل الجهاد فبادر إليه ، ثم لم يقنع حتى استأذن فيه فدل على ما هو أفضل منه في حقه ، ولولا السؤال ما حصل له العلم بذلك . ولمسلم وسعيد بن منصور من طريق ناعم مولى أم سلمة عن عبد الله بن عمرو في نحو هذه القصة قال : ارجع إلى والديك فأحسن صحبتهما ” ولأبي داود وابن حبان من وجه آخر عن عبد الله بن عمرو ” ارجع فأضحكهما كما أبكيتهما ، وأصرح من ذلك حديث أبي سعيد عند أبي داود بلفظ : ارجع فاستأذنهما فإن أذنا لك فجاهد ، وإلا فبرهما ، وصححه ابن حبان . قال جمهور العلماء : يحرم الجهاد إذا منع الأبوان أو أحدهما بشرط أن يكونا مسلمين ، لأن برهما فرض عين عليه والجهاد فرض كفاية ، فإذا تعين الجهاد فلا إذن . ويشهد له ما أخرجه ابن حبان من طريق أخرى عن عبد الله بن عمرو جاء رجل إلى رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم فسأله عن أفضل الأعمال ، قال : الصلاة . قال ثم مه قال الجهاد . قال فإن لي والدين ، فقال آمرك بوالديك خيرا . فقال والذي بعثك بالحق نبيا لأجاهدن ولأتركنهما ، قال فأنت أعلم وهو محمول على جهاد فرض العين توفيقا بين الحديثين ،
وهل يلحق الجد والجدة بالأبوين في ذلك ؟
الأصح عند الشافعية نعم والأصح أيضا أن لا يفرق بين الحر والرقيق في ذلك لشمول طلب البر ، فلو كان الولد رقيقا فأذن له سيده لم يعتبر إذن أبويه ، ولهما الرجوع في الإذن إلا إن حضر الصف ، وكذا لو شرطا أن لا يقاتل فحضر الصف فلا أثر للشرط ، واستدل به على تحريم السفر بغير إذن لأن الجهاد إذا منع مع فضيلته فالسفر المباح أولى نعم إن كان سفره لتعلم فرض عين حيث تعيين السفر طريقا إليه فلا منع ، وإن كان فرض كفاية ففيه خلاف . وفي الحديث فضل بر الوالدين وتعظيم حقهما وكثرة الثواب على برهما ، وسيأتي بسط ذلك في كتاب الأدب إن شاء الله تعالى .
The (Prophet (ﷺ) said): “Do Jihad for their benefit.” meaning to make them happy do Jihad al Nafs (Spend your wealth and yourself for them)… The meaning can be taken from this is “every practice which is tiredness for nafs can be called Jihad AND DOING GOOD TO YOUR PARENTS SOMETIMES IS THE BEST OF JIHAD”… Muslim and Saeed bin Mansoor narrated from Naaim Mawla Umm Salma from Abdullah bin Amr like this narration which states “Go back to your parents and accord them benevolent treatment” and Abu Dawud and Ibn Hibban from Abdullah bin Amr narrated “Return to them and make them laugh as you made them weep” and the best clarification is mentioned in the hadeeth of Abu Saeed in Abu Dawood states “If they permit you, then fight (in the path of Allah), otherwise be devoted to them” This hadeeth is authenticated by Ibn Hibban.
Majority of the scholars states: It is haram to participate in Jihad if the parents or one of them stops you if they are Muslim. Because Jihad is Fardh al Kifaya and to be devoted to the parents is Fardh al Ayn. But if (call to) Jihad is appointed (i.e. becomes fardh al ayn) then there is no need of permission. The evidence of it is the hadith of Ibn Hibban with another rout from Abdullah bin Amr in which a Man asked Prophet peace be upon him regarding the best of the actions, he said Salaah, he said after that? He replied Jihad, the man said my parents are alive, He replied I ask you to be good to them. The man said By the one who has sent you with the truth I will participate in Jihad and leave the parents. He replied “you know best (your situation and what it requires.” This is when the JIhad is fardh al Ayn so that both of the ahadeeth can be reconciled.
Are the grand parents also included in it with parents? true according to Shafiees is that yes they are… If the son is slave then he asks permission from his master then this will not be considered permission like his parents. The parents have also a right to take the permission back unless the son is participating in Jihad.
[Fath al Bari Kitab al Jihad under the hadith Go back to your parents and accord them benevolent treatment”]Note: The hadith mentioned by Ibn Hajr from Ibn Hibban which states “The man said By the one who has sent you with the truth I will participate in Jihad and leave the parents. He replied “you know best (your situation and what it requires.”
This hadeeth is weak, sh Shuayb Al Arnaoot said:
( وقد كنت حكمت على إسناده فيه بالحسن، ثم تبين لي أن حيي بن عبد الله لا يكون حديثه حسناً إلا عند المتابعة) .
He made hukm on this as hasan but then it was made clear to him that the narration Ha’i bin Abdullah that his hadith cannot be hasan except in mutabiah.
[Taleeq Musnad Ahmad 11/75]93. Funny: When Prophet ﷺ caught a boy who beautified himself for women.
: محمد بن عمر بن أحمد بن عمر بن محمد الأصبهاني المديني، أبو موسى (ت ٥٨١هـ) narrated:
٧ – أَخْبَرَنَا أَبُو غَالِبٍ أَحْمَدُ بْنُ الْعَبَّاسِ الْكُوشِيذِيُّ , وَأَبُو بَكْرِ بْنُ أَبِي الْقَاسِمِ الْفُرَاتِيُّ , وَأَبُو مُحَمَّدِ بْنُ شُرْوَانَ بْنِ شِيرزاذ الدِّيلِيُّ , رَحِمَهُمُ اللَّهُ قَالُوا: أنا أَبُو بَكْرٍ مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ رِيذَةَ , وَأَخْبَرَنَا أَبُو عَلِيٍّ , نا أَبُو نُعَيْمٍ , قَالا: نا سُلَيْمَانُ بْنُ أَحْمَدَ , نا الْهَيْثَمُ بْنُ خَالِدٍ , نا دَاوُدُ بْنُ مَنْصُورٍ , نا جَرِيرُ بْنُ حَازِمٍ , قَالَ سُلَيْمَانُ: وَحَدَّثَنَا أَبُو غَسَّانَ أَحْمَدُ بْنُ سَهْلٍ الأَهْوَازِيُّ , نا الْجَرَّاحُ بْنُ مَخْلَدٍ , نا وَهْبُ بْنُ جَرِيرِ بْنِ حَازِمٍ , نا أَبِي , قَالَ: سَمِعْتُ زَيْدَ بْنَ أَسْلَمَ , يُحَدِّثُ أَنَّ خَوَّاتَ بْنَ جُبَيْرٍ , رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ , قَالَ: نَزَلْنَا مَعَ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ , مَرَّ الظَّهْرَانِ , قَالَ: فَخَرَجْتُ مِنْ خِبَائِي , فَإِذَا أَنَا بِنِسْوَةٍ يَتَحَدَّثْنَ , فَأَعْجَبْنَنِي فَرَجَعْتُ فَاسْتَخْرَجْتُ عَيْبَتِي , فَاسْتَخْرَجْتُ مِنْهَا حُلَّةً فَلَبِسْتُهَا , فَجِئْتُ فَجَلَسْتُ مَعَهُنَّ , وَخَرَجَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ , مِنْ قُبَّتِهِ , فَقَالَ: «يَا أَبَا عَبْدِ اللَّهِ , مَا يُجْلِسُكَ مَعَهُنَّ» .
فَلَمَّا رَأَيْتُ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ , هِبْتُهُ وَاخْتَلَطْتُ , فَقُلْتُ: يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ، جَمَلٌ لِي شَرَدَ , فَأَنَا أَبْتَغِي لَهُ قَيْدًا فَمَضَى وَاتَّبَعْتُهُ , فَأَلْقَى عَلَيَّ رِدَاءَهُ , وَدَخَلَ الأَرَاكَ كَأَنِّي أَنْظُرُ إِلَى بَيَاضِ مَتْنِهِ فِي خُضْرَةِ الأَرَاكِ , فَقَضَى حَاجَتَهُ , وَتَوَضَّأَ , فَأَقْبَلَ وَالْمَاءُ يَسِيلُ , أَوْ قَالَ: يَقْطُرُ مِنْ لِحْيَتِهِ عَلَى صَدْرِهِ , فَقَالَ: «أَبَا عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، مَا فَعَلَ شِرَادُ جَمَلِكَ؟» .
ثُمَّ ارْتَحَلْنَا فَجَعَلَ لا يَلْحَقُنِي فِي الْمَسِيرِ , إِلا قَالَ: «السَّلامُ عَلَيْكَ أَبَا عَبْدِ اللَّهِ , مَا فَعَلَ شِرَادُ ذَلِكَ الْجَمَلِ؟» .
فَلَمَّا رَأَيْتُ ذَلِكَ تَعَجَّلْتُ إِلَى الْمَدِينَةِ , وَاجْتَنَبْتُ الْمَسْجِدَ , وَالْمُجَالَسَةَ إِلَى النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ , فَلَمَّا طَالَ ذَلِكَ تَحَيَّنْتُ سَاعَةَ خَلْوَةِ الْمَسْجِدِ فَأَتَيْتُ الْمَسْجِدَ فَقُمْتُ أُصَلِّي فَخَرَجَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ , مِنْ بَعْضِ حُجَرِهِ فَجَاءَ فَصَلَّى رَكْعَتَيْنِ خَفِيفَتَيْنِ , وَطَوَّلْتُ رَجَاءَ أَنْ يَذَهَبَ وَيَدَعَنِي , فَقَالَ: «طَوِّلْ أَبَا عَبْدِ اللَّهِ مَا شِئْتَ أَنْ تُطَوِّلَ فَلَسْتُ يَعْنِي بَارِحًا حَتَّى تَنْصَرِفَ» , فَقُلْتُ فِي نَفْسِي: وَاللَّهِ لأَعْتَذِرَنَّ إِلَى رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ وَلأُبَرِّئَنَّ صَدْرَهُ فَلَمَّا انْصَرَفْتُ قَالَ: «السَّلامُ عَلَيْكَ أَبَا عَبْدِ اللَّهِ , مَا فَعَلَ شِرَادُ ذَلِكَ الْجَمَلِ» , فَقُلْتُ: وَالَّذِي بَعَثَكَ بِالْحَقِّ مَا شَرَدَ ذَلِكَ الْجَمَلُ مُنْذُ أَسْلَمَ , فَقَالَ: «رَحِمَكَ اللَّهُ» .
ثَلاثًا , ثُمَّ لَمْ يَعُدْ لِشَيْءٍ مِمَّا كَانَ.
رَوَى النَّضْرُ بْنُ طَاهِرٍ , وَعَبْدُ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنُ مُسْهِرٍ , عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ زَيْدِ بْنِ أَسْلَمَ , عَنْ أَبِيهِ , عَنْ رَبِيعَةَ بْنِ عُمَرَ , وَالدِّيلِيِّ , عَنْ خَوَّاتٍ بَعْضًا مِنْ آخِرِ الْحَدِيثِ
It is attributed, Saydna Khawwat bin Jubair رضیﷲ عنه narrated that:
Prophet ﷺ was travelling so he camped at a place where he saw a boy sitting close to some strange women, he beautified himself to sit with them and talking to them. Prophet ﷺ asked the boy reason behind sitting with those women so he got befuddled what to answer, so he finally said that he lost his camel and after saying this he got redness on his face due to shame and came along with Rasoolallah ﷺ.
Post this incident, whenever Prophet ﷺ would see this boy he would ask him “Assalamu Alaikum O Abu Abdullah, What happened to your lost camel”? and the boy would fell into shame so much that he left coming to Masjid al Nabawi, and when he would like to come to Masjid Nabwi, he would carefully check the time when Prophet ﷺ would be not there because of some reasons.
Hence, he entered in the Masjid Nabwi, offered salah and just at the moment he said takbeer, Prophet ﷺ arrived. He kept watching prophet ﷺ during salah and elongated his prayer and kept looking at him from a side if he’s gone or not. So, Rasoolallah ﷺ said to him. “O’ Abu Abdullah I won’t leave until you finish your prayer” Now, the boy understood there’s no way out, So he came to Prophet ﷺ and Prophet ﷺ asked him: “What happened to your lost camel”? So he said: I swear upon Allah who sent you with the message, I never lost any camel of mine since I accepted Islam.
Rasoolallah ﷺ said to him: May Allah have mercy upon you three times then after this Prophet ﷺ never asked him this question again.
[منتهى رغبات السامعين في عوالي أحاديث التابعينn, #37, also narrated in Muajam al Kabeer at-Tabarani, al Haythami said in Majma al Zawaid 9/401رواه الطبراني من طريقين ورجال أحدهما رجال الصحيح غير الجراح بن مخلد وهو ثقة.
It was narrated by al-Tabarani from two chains of transmission, and narrators of one of them are the narrators of al-Sahih, other than al-Jarrah ibn Mukhallad, who is trustworthy. (End quote)
Hafidh al Iraqi said:
أخرجه الطبراني في الكبير من رواية زيد بن أسلم عن خَوَّات بن جبير مع اختلاف ورجاله ثقات ، وأدخل بعضهم بين زيد وبين خَوَّات : ربيعة بن عمرو .
I.e. the narrators are trustworthy..
تخريج أحاديث الإحياء 6/487 no. 2912, I didn’t find anyone other than Hatim al Awni who authenticated this hadith, so trusting him.
94. From enemy of Islam to Umm ul Momineen.
It is narrated from Ibn Umar:
كان بعين صفية رضي الله عنها خضرة فقال لها رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: «ما هذه الخضرة بعينك؟» فقالت: قلت لزوجي إني رأيت فيما يرى النائم قمرا وقع في حجري فلطمني وقال: تريدين ملك يثرب. قالت: فما كان أبغض إلي من رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قتل أبي وزوجي، فما زال يعتذر إلي ويقول: «يا صفية إن أباك ألب علي العرب وفعل وفعل» حتى ذهب ذاك من نفسي
There was a green scar in an eye of Safiyya. The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) asked her, ‘What is this scar in your eye?’ She said, “I mentioned before my husband my dream that a moon fell into my lap upon which he slapped me and said; ‘Do you long for the King of Yathrib [the Prophet].’” She said: ‘There was none more hateful to me than the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) as he had my father and husband killed. The Prophet (ﷺ), however, kept on explaining, ‘Safiya! Your father instigated the Arabs against me and did such and such.’ He kept doing so till all my harsh feelings for him vanished.
Silsala al-Ahadith al-Sahiha, (Riyadh: Dar al-Ma‘rif, 1996) Vol.6, Hadith 2793, translation taken from the article by Waqar Akbar Cheema.
Ibn Hajr al asqalani said:
الاطلاع على محاسن أخلاقه الباطنة ، فقد تزوج أم حبيبة وأبوها إذ ذاك يعاديه ، وصفية بعد قتل أبيها وعمها وزوجها ، فلو لم يكن أكمل الخلق في خلقه لنفرن منه ، بل الذي وقع أنه كان أحب إليهن من جميع أهلهن .
That he was best to his wives, like when he married Umm Habiba her father (Abu Sufiyan ra) was one of the worst enemy of Islam that time, Then Married to Safiya when her father was killed (due to his enmity against Islam and waged war against the Prophet peace be upon him) If He (peace be upon him) was not the best then why would they marry him? They loved him (peace be upon him) more than any of their relative. (Fath al Bari)
Comments:
1. Safiya’s radhiAllahanho Jew husband slapped her. It was so hard that it left a green scar in the eye.
2. She used to hate Prophet peace be upon him.
3. She knew her father was staunch enemy of Islam.
4. She agreed with the explanations of Prophet peace be upon him.
5. She started loving Prophet peace be upon him more than everyone.
6. She became Umm ul Momineen.
95. Prophet peace be upon him honored women and indicated that men should wait until the women leave the masjid after the prayer.
Narrated Um Salama:
Whenever Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) completed the prayer with Taslim, the women used to get up immediately and Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) would remain at his place for someone before getting up. (The sub-narrator (Az- Zuhri) said, “We think, and Allah knows better, that he did so, so that the women might leave before men could get in touch with them).
حَدَّثَنَا يَحْيَى بْنُ قَزَعَةَ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا إِبْرَاهِيمُ بْنُ سَعْدٍ، عَنِ الزُّهْرِيِّ، عَنْ هِنْدٍ بِنْتِ الْحَارِثِ، عَنْ أُمِّ سَلَمَةَ ـ رضى الله عنها ـ قَالَتْ كَانَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم إِذَا سَلَّمَ قَامَ النِّسَاءُ حِينَ يَقْضِي تَسْلِيمَهُ، وَيَمْكُثُ هُوَ فِي مَقَامِهِ يَسِيرًا قَبْلَ أَنْ يَقُومَ. قَالَ نَرَى ـ وَاللَّهُ أَعْلَمُ ـ أَنَّ ذَلِكَ كَانَ لِكَىْ يَنْصَرِفَ النِّسَاءُ قَبْلَ أَنْ يُدْرِكَهُنَّ أَحَدٌ مِنَ الرِّجَالِ.
Reference : Sahih al-Bukhari 870
Practice of Sahaba on above hadith.
Abu Dawood under No. 876 narrates the same hadith in Kitab al-Salaat under the title “Insiraaf an-Nisaa’ Qabl al-Rijaal min al-Salaah” (Departure of Women before Men after the Prayer).
Ibn ‘Umar said that Allah’s Messenger (May peace and blessings be upon him) said: “We should leave this door (of the mosque) for women.” Naafi’ said: “Ibn ‘Umar never again entered through that door until he died.” Narrated by Abu Dawood under No. 484 in “Kitab as-Salah” under the Chapter entitled: “at-Tashdid fi Thalik”. (Islamqa)
96. Oppressing, beating, Harming a pious woman or a man is haram.
Abu Dharr (RA) quoted the Prophet (ﷺ) saying among what he narrated from Allah, the Most High that He has said,
{ يَا عِبَادِي! إِنِّي حَرَّمْتُ اَلظُّلْمَ عَلَى نَفْسِي, وَجَعَلْتُهُ بَيْنَكُمْ مُحَرَّمًا, فَلَا تَظَّالَمُوا } أَخْرَجَهُ مُسْلِمٌ.
“O MY slaves, I have made oppression unlawful for myself and I have made it unlawful among you, so do not oppress one another.” Related by Muslim.
It is against Quran.
At-Tabari said:
والصواب من القول في ذلك عندنا أنه غير جائز لأحدٍ ضرب أحد من الناس ، ولا أذاه ، إلا بالحق ؛ لقول الله تعالى ( وَالَّذِينَ يُؤْذُونَ المُؤْمِنِينَ وَالمُؤْمِنَاتِ بِغَيْرِ مَا اكْتَسَبُوا فَقَدِ احْتَمَلُوا بُهْتَانًا وَإِثْمًا مُبِينًا ) الأحزاب/ 58 ، سواء كان المضروب امرأة وضاربها زوجها ، أو كان مملوكا أو مملوكة وضاربه مولاه ، أو كان صغيراً وضاربه والده ، أو وصي والده وصَّاه عليه .
And correct in our view is that it is not permissible for anyone to hit or harm any of the people, except for what is right. Due to the saying of Allah:
“As for those who abuse believing men and women unjustifiably, they will definitely bear the guilt of slander and blatant sin.” {33 : 58}
Whether the victim was a woman and her husband beat her or Master beat his slave or a father beats his son
Tahdeeb al Athar 1/418
It is against the practice of Prophet peace be upon him:
Mother of believers A’isha reported that Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) never beat anyone with his hand, neither a woman nor a servant, but only, in the case when he had been fighting in the cause of Allah and he never took revenge for anything unless the things made inviolable by Allah were made violable; he then took revenge for Allah, the Exalted and Glorious.
Sahih Muslim 5756.
97. When Aisha radhiAllahanha laughed on the dua of Prophet peace be upon him
عَنْ عُرْوَةَ، عَنْ عَائِشَةَ، أَنَّهَا قَالَتْ:” لَمَّا رَأَيْتُ مِنَ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ طِيبَ نَفْسٍ قُلْتُ: يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ ادْعُ اللَّهَ لِي. فَقَالَ: اللَّهُمَّ اغْفِرْ لِعَائِشَةَ مَا تَقَدَّمَ مِنْ ذَنَبِهَا وَمَا تَأَخَّرَ مَا أَسَرَّتْ وَمَا أَعْلَنَتْ ، فَضَحِكَتْ عَائِشَةُ حَتَّى سَقَطَ رَأْسُهَا فِي حِجْرِهَا مِنَ الضَّحِكِ. قَالَ لَهَا رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ:أَيَسُرُّكِ دُعَائِي؟ فَقَالَتْ: وَمَا لِي لَا يَسُرُّنِي دُعَاؤُكَ فَقَالَ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: وَاللَّهِ إِنَّهَا لَدُعَائِي لِأُمَّتِي فِي كل صلاة .
Aisha reported: When I saw the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, with a cheerful face, I said, “O Messenger of Allah, supplicate to Allah for me.” The Prophet said, “O Allah, forgive Aisha for her past and future sins, in secret and in public.” Aisha laughed so much that her head fell from his lap. The Prophet said to her, “Does my supplication make you happy?” Aisha said, “Why would your supplication not make me happy?” The Prophet said, “By Allah, it is my supplication for my nation in every prayer.” (translation taken from Abu Amina Elias)
(Ibn Hibban in al Saheeh 7111 al Albani mentioned in al Saheeha no. 2254, and Shuayb al Arnaoot said Hasan in Taleeq Saheeh Ibn Hibban 16/48. Haythami said narrated by al Bazzaar and the narrators are the narrators of al Saheeh other than Ahmad bin Munsoor al Ramadi and he is trustworthy. Majma al Zawaid 9/193)
98. Maternal aunts and mothers.
a. Be dutiful to your mother and Maternal aunt it will be compensation of the sin.
A man came to the Prophet (ﷺ) and said: “O Messenger of Allah! I have been afflicted by a tremendous sin. Is there any repentance for me?” He said: “Do you have your mother?” The man said: “No.” He said: “Do you have any maternal aunts?” The man said: “Yes.” He said: “Then be dutiful to them.”
Reference : Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1904
b. When he answered his mother louder than her voice
It is narrated from Abdullah bin Awn (Tabiyee).
أن أمه نادته فأجابها فعلا صوتُه صوتَها، فأعتق رقبتين .
His mother called him and he answered her in a louder voice than hers, so he freed two slaves.”
[Siyar a’lam al-Nubala, v.6, p.366].c. Muhammad ibn Sireen (Tabiyee) and his respect for the mother.
Hafsa bint Sireen said: I have never seen my brother (Muhammad ibn Sireen) raising his voice against our mother, He would talk with her very softly.
at-Tabqaat al Kubra 7/198, chain authenticated by Sh Zubair Ali Zai, Maqalaat vol 3
D) Abu huraira and his mother.
When Abu Huraira entered his land, he shouted out in his loudest voice, “Peace be upon you, mother, and the mercy of Allah and His blessing!” She replied, “And peace be upon you and the mercy of Allah and His blessing.” He said, “May Allah have mercy on you as you raised me when I was a child.” She replied, “My son, may Allah repay you well and be pleased with you as you were dutiful towards me when I was old.”
Grade: Hasan (Al-Albani) حـسـن (الألباني) حكم
Reference : Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 14
99. A woman or a man who prays but harms a neighbor.
Abu Hurayra said, “The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, was asked, ‘Messenger of Allah! A certain woman prays in the night, fasts in the day, acts and gives sadaqa, but harms her neighbours with her tongue.’ The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, ‘There is no good in her. She is one of the people of the Fire.’ They said, ‘Another woman prays the prescribed prayers and gives bits of curd as sadaqa and does not harm anyone.’ The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, ‘She is one of the people of the Garden.'”
Grade: Sahih (Al-Albani)
Reference : Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 119
100. A black sahabiya who was given glad tidings of paradise and few other black pious women.
A. Umm Zufar the one who was given paradise on her patience.
Ibn Abbas informed Ata bin Abi Rabah that Prophet peace be upon him said to her about her illness “”If you endure it patiently, you will be rewarded with paradise”..
Ata said, “I saw this woman, Umm Zufar, on the steps of the Kabah. (She was) a black woman, tall in height”.
[Adab al Mufrad by Imam Bukhari Book 1, Hadith 505-6]B. Khansa the black wife of Hudhaifa the companion.
Hudhaifa said: O Khansa even though you are black and not beautiful still you have been mentioned by The chiefs (Angels) on high and You have been mentioned by Allah in his book. Then Hudhaifa freed her and married her.
[Tafsir al Al-Thaʿlabi under 2:221, Same is mentioned by al Qurtubi under 2:221]C. Abidah, A Black Female Slave, who was the scholar of hadith.
Ibn Hiyan al Andulasi (377 h to 469 h) said:
وذكر إسحاق بن سلمة عن أحمد بن عبد الله الحبيبي عن جده قال: لما حج حبيب دحون اجتمع بمكة مع ابن عمه محمد بن يزيد بن سلمة، وكان مطمئناً ببلده بالشام بحال حسنة، فوهب له محمد جارية تسمى عابدة، وكانت سوداء حالكة من رقيق المدينة، وكانت تروى عن مالك بن أنس وغيره من العلماء شيوخها، فتسند عشرة آلاف حديث عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم، فقدم بها دحون إلى الأندلس، وهو قد أعجب بعلمها وفهمها، فاتخذها لفراشه، فولدت له بشراً إبنه.
Abidah who was a Black slave, but she was a shining star as far as hadith is concern. When Muhammad bin Yazeed gave her to Habeeb bin al Waleed Dahoon al Andalusi, Her knowldge influenced him so much that He freed her and they did nikah and bore a child, She went to Andulas with him where she narrated 10,000 ahadith of Prophet peace be upon him from Malik bin Anas and other Madni teachers. (المقتبس من أنباء الأندلس لابن حیان القرطبی 228/1)
101. Merit of a woman who had a problem in her mentality.
Brother Ahmad Faizan Alam wrote:
Scholars have mentioned hundreds of female companions for their merits in their compilations of fadhaail sahabiyaat.. One of them mentioned a merit of a female companion from Madeena who wasn’t mentally stable! She came to the Noble Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم (May my parents be sacrificed for him) and said :
يا رسول الله إن لي إليك حاجة ، فقال يا أم فلان انظري أي السكك شئت حتى أقضي لك حاجتك ؟ فخلا معها في بعض الطرق حتى فرغت من حاجتها.. (رواه ابو داود)
O Messenger of Allah ! I need to talk to you.. Our noble Master (May peace and blessings be unto him) replied to her.
“Oh Mother of so and so, see on which side of the road you would like (to stand and talk) so that I may do the needful for you” . He ﷺ stood aside with her on the lane until she got what she needed. (Sahih Muslim /Abu Dawud)
Allahu Akbar! Our Prophet ﷺ sat & listened to her untill she finished all her talk !! Scholars mention this hadeeth under the title –
** فضل امرأة كان في عقلها شيء **
(The merit of a woman who had some kind of problem mentally)
Imagine the extent of the beautiful character of our prophet (saaw) when he sat with a mentally challenged sahabiyah and gave her all of his precious time (so as to not dishearten her) ..May Allah guide me and all of us to act and follow the best man on earth ever. (End quote by Ahmad Faizan Alam)
102. When a wife hates her husband and the husband loves her.
Narrated Ibn `Abbas:
Barira’s husband was a slave called Mughith, as if I am seeing him now, going behind Barira and weeping with his tears flowing down his beard. The Prophet (ﷺ) said to `Abbas, “O `Abbas ! are you not astonished at the love of Mughith for Barira and the hatred of Barira for Mughith?” The Prophet (ﷺ) then said to Barira, “Why don’t you return to him?” She said, “O Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ)! Do you order me to do so?” He said, “No, I only intercede for him.” She said, “I am not in need of him.”
Reference : Sahih al-Bukhari 5283
If it was order of Prophet peace be upon him, Barira radhiAllahanha would have accepted it.
103. Marrying an immoral woman specially if a man is unable to live without her due to his love.
Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas:
جَاءَ رَجُلٌ إِلَى النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَقَالَ إِنَّ امْرَأَتِي لاَ تَمْنَعُ يَدَ لاَمِسٍ . قَالَ ” غَرِّبْهَا ” . قَالَ أَخَافُ أَنْ تَتْبَعَهَا نَفْسِي . قَالَ ” فَاسْتَمْتِعْ بِهَا ” .
A man came to the Prophet (ﷺ), and said: My wife does not prevent the hand of a man who touches her. He said: banish her (leave her). He replied, “I am afraid my soul may desire her.” . He said: Then enjoy her.
Sunan Abi Dawud 2049 Sahih (Al-Albani) , Sunan an-Nasa’i 3464 Sahih (Darussalam), Ibn Kathir mentioned: Nasaee said its not proven rather it is mursal, and Ibn kathir attributed to Ahmad that he rejected the hadith. But Ibn Kathir himself said: “the chain is powerful” (Tafsir Ibn Kathir under Surah al Nur verse 3), It is also authenticated by an-Nawawi in Bulugh al Maram, Ibn Hajr asqalani in Talkhees 3/452 and Ibn Hazm in al Muhalla 12/243.
Mulla Ali al Qari said:
، وهذا الحديث يدل على أن تطيق مثل هذه المرأة أولى ، لأنه – عليه الصلاة والسلام – قدم الطلاق على الإمساك ، فلو لم يتيسر تطليقها بأن يكون يحبها ، أو يكون له منها ولد يشق مفارقة الولد الأم ، أو يكون لها عليه دين لم يتيسر له قضاؤه ، فحينئذ يجوز أن لا يطلقها ، ولكن بشرط أن تمنعها عن الفاحشة ، فإذا لم يمكنه أن يمنعها عن الفاحشة يعصي بترك تطليقها . قال ميرك ناقلا عن التصحيح للجزري : اختلفوا في معنى الحديث ، فقال ابن الأعرابي من الفجور ، وقال الخطابي : معناه أنها مطاوعة لمن أرادها ، وبوب عليه النسائي في سننه ، فقال باب تزوج الزانية ، وقال الإمام أحمد : تعطى من ماله ، يعني أنها سفيهة لا ترد من أراد الأخذ منه ، وهذا أولى لوجهين أحدهما : أنه لو أراد أنها زانية لكان قذفا ، ولم يكن النبي – صلى الله عليه وسلم – ليقره عليه ، والثاني : أنه لو كان كذلك لم يكن النبي – صلى الله عليه وسلم – ليأخذ في إمساكها . وفي شرح السنة : معناه أنها مطاوعة لمن أرادها لا ترد يده ، قال التوربشتي : هذا وإن كان اللفظ يقتضيه احتمالا فإن قول رسول الله – صلى الله عليه وسلم – : ( فامسكها إذن ) : يأباه ، ومعاذ الله أن يأذن رسول الله – صلى الله عليه وسلم – في إمساك من لا تماسك لها عن الفاحشة ، فضلا عن أن يأمر به ، وإنما الوجه فيه أن الرجل شكا إليه خرقها وتهاونها بحفظ ما في البيت ، والتسارع إلى بذل ذلك لمن أراده . قال القاضي : هذا التوجيه ضعيف ; لأن إمساك الفاجرة غير محرم ، حتى لا يؤذن فيه سيما إذا كان الرجل مولعا بها فإنه ربما يخاف على نفسه أن لا يصطبر عنها لو طلقها ، فيقع هو أيضا في الفجور ، بل الواجب عليه أن يؤدبها ويجتهد في حفظها . في شرح السنة : فيه دليل على جواز نكاح الفاجرة وإن كان الاختيار غير ذلك ، وهو قول أكثر أهل العلم
This hadith is an evidence that it is better to leave such a woman because firstly he (peace be upon him) ordered to divorce her. If it is not possible to divorce her by the fact that he loves her, or he has a son from her and he finds it difficult for the child to separate from the mother, or she has a debt that he cannot pay off, then in that case it is permissible for him not to divorce her, but on the condition that he has to prevent her from (Faahisha) immorality, and if he cannot prevent her from committing immorality, then he is sinning by not giving her divorce.
Meerak quoted from at-Tasheeh by al Jazari that the scholars differed on the meaning of this hadith:
Ibn Al-Arabi said it means (Fujoor) immorality, and Al-Khattabi said: It means that she obeys to anyone who wants her.
Nasaee narrated this under the chapter: “Marrying a zaaniya”.
Imam Ahmad said:
She is foolish who gives money of her husband to others and does not stops the one who wants to take anything from it. This is more appropriate for two reasons, the first of which is that if he thinks her to be an adulteress, that is a slander, and the Prophet, may Allah’s prayers and peace be upon himwould not have accepted this slander. Second is that if she is really a zaaniyah then Prophet peace be upon him would never ask him to stay with her.
It is mentioned in Sharh as-Sunnah (by Al Baghwi): it means that she is obedient to whoever wants her and does not turn back his hand.
At Turbashti said.. May Allah forbid that Prophet peace be upon him allows him to stay with a woman who can’t stop herself from immorality. Rather the meaning is the man complained to him about the breach and negligence in preserving what is in the house, and hastening to give that to whoever wants it.
Qaadhi (Iyaad) said:
This meaning (by Turbashti and Ahmad) is weak because staying with an immoral woman is not forbidden, but she should not be given permission to do immorality (like touching men and staying with them etc), especially if the man loves her, because he may fear for himself that he will not be patient, if he divorces her, so he too will fall into immorality. Rather what he must do is discipline her and strive to protect her from immorality.
It is mentioned in Sharh as-Sunnah:
There is evidence in this hadith for the permissibility of marrying an immoral woman, but it is better chose other than her, and it is the view of most scholars.
(Mirqat al Mafateeh 3317)
104. The praise of Umm Zar` for her husband Abu Zar`
Imam al Bukhari made a chapter:
Chapter: To treat the family in a polite and kind manner
Aisha radhiAllahanha narrated a long hadith and said: The 11th woman said:
زَوْجِي أَبُو زَرْعٍ فَمَا أَبُو زَرْعٍ أَنَاسَ مِنْ حُلِيٍّ أُذُنَىَّ، وَمَلأَ مِنْ شَحْمٍ عَضُدَىَّ، وَبَجَّحَنِي فَبَجِحَتْ إِلَىَّ نَفْسِي، وَجَدَنِي فِي أَهْلِ غُنَيْمَةٍ بِشِقٍّ، فَجَعَلَنِي فِي أَهْلِ صَهِيلٍ وَأَطِيطٍ وَدَائِسٍ وَمُنَقٍّ، فَعِنْدَهُ أَقُولُ فَلاَ أُقَبَّحُ وَأَرْقُدُ فَأَتَصَبَّحُ، وَأَشْرَبُ فَأَتَقَنَّحُ،
“My husband is Abu Zar` and what is Abu Zar` (i.e., what should I say about him)? He has given me many ornaments and my ears are heavily loaded with them and my arms have become fat (i.e., due to the provisions he provided). And he has pleased me, and I have become so happy that I feel proud of myself. He found me with my family who were mere owners of sheep and living in poverty, and brought me to a respected family having horses and camels and threshing and purifying grain. Whatever I say, he does not rebuke or insult me. When I sleep, I sleep till late in the morning, and when I drink water (or milk), I drink my fill.”..
Sahih al-Bukhari 5189
Aisha then said: Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said to me, “I am to you as Abu Zar’ was to his wife Um Zar’.” (Meaning extremely polite, kind and gentle).
Sahih al-Bukhari 5189
105. The woman who took care of her orphan.
The Prophet is reported to have said:
أنا أول من يفتح له باب الجنة، إلا أنه تأتي امرأة تبادرني، فأقول لها: مالك؟ من أنت؟ فتقول: أنا امرأة قعدت على أيتام لي
‘𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘗𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘦, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘢 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘮𝘦!
𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘳: ‘𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙮𝙤𝙪, 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪?’
𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘢𝘺: ‘𝙄 𝙖𝙢 𝙖 𝙬𝙤𝙢𝙖𝙣 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙙𝙚𝙫𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙢𝙮 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙢𝙮 𝙤𝙧𝙥𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝙘𝙝𝙞𝙡𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙣.’
[‘Musnad Abu Ya’la’, 6651 – إسناده حسن ].Ibn Hajar al-‘Asqalani said :
رواته لا بأس بهم
‘𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘵𝘩.’
[‘Fath al-Bari’, 13/551].al Buseyri and al Albani declared it weak but his student Husayn Saleem Asad said the chain is powerful in his research of Musnad Abu Yala vol 12 page 7 hadith no. 6651, Hafiz Munzari also declared it Hasan. The Kuwaiti scholar Nabeel bin Mansur said the chain is Hasan as said by Munzari in Anees al Sari no. 728 Via Mohmand Afghan
106. The woman who declined an offer of 100 dinars from her lover and instead reminded him to fear Allah and not engage in premarital sex with her.
The man prayed when he was stuck the cave:
‘O Allah! I was in love with a cousin of mine like the deepest love a man may have for a woman. I wanted to outrage her chastity but she refused unless I gave her one hundred Dinars. So, I struggled to collect that amount. And when I sat between her legs, she said, ‘O Allah’s slave! Be afraid of Allah and do not deflower me except rightfully (by marriage).’ So, I got up. O Allah! If I did it for Your sake only, please remove the rock.’ The rock shifted a little more.
Sahih al-Bukhari 2333
Even though she accepted to take 100 dinars first but then she reminded him of Allah, and he accepted. May Allah have mercy on both of them.
107. The testimony of women that the Messenger of Allah peace be upon him was the most merciful toward them.
It was narrated that Umaimah bint Ruqaiqah said:
“I came to the Prophet with some other Ansari women to give our pledge. We said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, we give you our pledge that we will not associate anything with Allah, we will not steal, we will not have unlawful sexual relations, we will not utter slander, fabricating from between our hands and feet, and we will not disobey you in goodness.’ He said: ‘AS MUCH AS YOU CAN AND ARE ABLE.’ We said: ‘Allah and His Messenger ARE MORE MERCIFUL TOWARDS US.(Another narration states: الله ورسوله أرحم بنا من أنفسنا هلم
Allah and His Messenger are more merciful to us than ourselves. ) Come, let us give you our pledge, O Messenger of Allah! The Messenger of Allah said: ‘I do not shake hands with women. Rather my word to a hundred women is like my word to one woman.”‘
Sunan an-Nasai 4181, As-Silsilah As-Saheehah (529).
108. The power of Dua by Sara Aleh salam when a King wanted to do evil with her.
The Prophet peace be upon him said:
فَقَامَ إِلَيْهَا فَقَامَتْ تَوَضَّأُ وَتُصَلِّي فَقَالَتِ اللَّهُمَّ إِنْ كُنْتُ آمَنْتُ بِكَ وَبِرَسُولِكَ فَلاَ تُسَلِّطْ عَلَىَّ الْكَافِرَ، فَغُطَّ حَتَّى رَكَضَ بِرِجْلِهِ.
She got up and performed ablution and prayed and said, ‘O Allah ! If I have believed in You and in Your Apostle, then do not empower this oppressor over me.’ So he (the king) had an epileptic fit and started moving his legs violently. ”
Reference : Sahih al-Bukhari 6950
She then prayed to Allah that “O Allah! If he should die, the people will say that I have killed him”. He regained his power and again came to Sara but she prayed again, the king had 3 attacks like this and after the last attack he left Sara aleh salam.
109. Ash-Shifa taught writing to Hafsa
Narrated Ash-Shifa’, daughter of Abdullah,:
The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) entered when I was with Hafsah, and he said to me: Why do you not teach this one the spell for skin eruptions as you TAUGHT HER WRITING.
(Sunan Abu Dawud no. 3887, graded Authentic by al Albani)
110. Testimony of a black woman vs Uqba bin Amir. Who did Prophet peace be upon him agree with?
Uqba bin Amir said:
I married a woman and then a black lady came to us and said, “I have suckled you both (you and your wife).” So I came to the Prophet (ﷺ) and said, “I married so-and-so and then a black lady came to us and said to me, ‘I have suckled both of you.’ But I think she is a liar.” The Prophet (ﷺ) turned his face away from me and I moved to face his face, and said, “She is a liar.” The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “How (can you keep her as your wife) when that lady has said that she has suckled both of you? So abandon her (your wife).
Sahih al Bukhari 5104
111. Virtues of Abu ad-Dahdah and Umm Dahdah
Messenger of Allah peace be upon him wanted to give a date palm tree to some needy on his request and requested to owner of that tree like this:
أعطها إياه بنخلة في الجنة
“Give him, and you will receive dates in return in Jannah.”
But the owner of that tree rejected to give his tree, when Abu ad-Dahdah heard this, he said to that person, “Sell me the date palm tree in exchange for my garden.”
The owner agreed, and Abu Duhdah came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and said, “O Messenger of Allah, I have bought the date palm tree in exchange for my garden. Now, give this tree to that needy person.” The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “For Abu Duhdah, there are many big and long date palm trees in Jannah.” The Prophet (peace be upon him) repeated this statement several times. Abu Duhdah went to his wife and said, “O Umm Duhdah, leave the garden, for I have sold it in exchange for a date palm tree in Jannah.”
She said,
قد ربحت البيع. أو كلمة نحوها
“You have indeed engaged in a profitable trade or she said somethinglike this.”
Musnad Ahmad 12482, Authenticated by al Hakim, Dhahabi, Shuayb al Arnaoot in his research of Musnad and al Albani in al Saheeha
112. When Allah listened complaint of Khawla against her husband.
Allah revealed Surah Al-Mujādilah (Arabic: المجادلة “She Who Disputes, The Pleading Woman” for Khawla al Ansaariya who complained about her husband.
It was narrated from ‘Urwah bin Zubair, that ‘Aishah said:
“Blessed is the One Whose hearing encompasses all things. I heard some of the words of Khawlah bint Tha’labah, but some of her words were not clear to me, when she complained to the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) about her husband, and said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, (ﷺ) he has consumed my youth and I split my belly for him (i.e., bore him many children), but when I grew old and could no longer bear children he declared Zihar upon me; O Allah, I complain to You.’ She continued to complain until Jibra’il brought down these Verses: ‘Indeed Allah has heard the statement of she who pleads with you (O Muhammad) concerning her husband, and complains to Allah” (58:1)
Grade: Sahih (Darussalam)
Reference : Sunan Ibn Majah 2063
P.S. As per Ibn Kathir she also killed Romans in Battle of Yarmuk. She is other than Khawla bint al Azwar.
113. Durrah the daughter of Abu Lahab.
Virtues of Durrah the daughter of staunch enemy of Islam Abu Lahab, May Allah be pleased with her.
It is mentioned in Majma al Zawaid by al Haythami:
– باب مناقب درة بنت أبي لهب – رضي الله عنها – )
15402 – عن ابن عمر ، وعن أبي هريرة ، وعن عمار بن ياسر قالوا : قدمت درة بنت أبي لهب مهاجرة ، فنزلت دار رافع بن المعلى الزرقي ، فقال لها نسوة جالسين إليها من بني زريق : أنت بنت أبي لهب الذي قال الله : ( تبت يدا أبي لهب وتب ما أغنى عنه ماله وما كسب ) يعني : ما يغني عنك مهاجرك ؟ فأتت درة النبي – صلى الله عليه وسلم – فشكت [ ص: 258 ] إليه ما قلن لها ، فسكنها رسول الله – صلى الله عليه وسلم – وقال : ” اجلسي ” . ثم صلى بالناس الظهر ، وجلس على المنبر ساعة ، وقال : ” أيها الناس ، مالي أوذى في أهلي ، فوالله إن شفاعتي لتنال حي حاء وحكم ، وصدا ، وسلهب ، يوم القيامة ” . رواه الطبراني ، وفيه عبد الرحمن بن بشير الدمشقي ، وثقه ابن حبان ، وضعفه أبو حاتم ، وبقية رجاله ثقات .
Chapter: Virtues of Durrah the daughter of Abu Lahab may Allah be pleased with her.
Narrated by Ibn Umar, Abu Hurairah, and Ammar bin Yasir:
Durrah, daughter of Abu Lahab, came to Medina as a migrant. She stayed at the house of Rafi ibn al-Mulay al-Zarqi. Some women from the Banu Zariq tribe who were sitting with her said to her, “You are the daughter of Abu Lahab, about whom Allah said,
“May the hands of Abu Lahab perish, and he ˹himself˺ perish! Neither his wealth nor ˹worldly˺ gains will benefit him.”
This means that your migration will not benefit you.”
Durrah went to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and complained to him about what they had said. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) calmed her down and said, “Sit down.” Then he led the people in the afternoon prayer, and after the prayer, he sat on the pulpit for a while and said, “O people, why do you harm my family? By Allah, my intercession will reach the tribes of Ha’a, Ṣudā, Ḥakam, and Salhab on the Day of Judgement
This hadith is narrated by al-Tabarani, chain of narration includes Abd al-Rahman ibn Bashir al-Dimashqi, who is considered to be trustworthy by Ibn Hibban but weak by Abu Hatim (and by Ibn Hajr al asqalani in al Isaba) The rest of the narrators are trustworthy.
15403 – وعن ابن أبي الحسين قال : كانت درة بنت أبي لهب عند الحارث بن عبد الله بن نوفل ، فولدت له عقبة ، والوليد ، وأبا مسلم ، ثم أتت النبي – صلى الله عليه وسلم – بالمدينة ، فأكثر الناس في أبويها ، فجاءت رسول الله – صلى الله عليه وسلم – فقالت : يا رسول الله ، ما ولد الكفار غيري ؟ ! فقال لها رسول الله – صلى الله عليه وسلم – : ” وما ذاك ؟ ” . قالت : قد آذاني أهل المدينة في أبوي ، فقال لها رسول الله – صلى الله عليه وسلم – : ” إذا صليت الظهر فصلي حيث أرى ” . فصلى النبي – صلى الله عليه وسلم – الظهر ، ثم التفت إليها ، فأقبل على الناس ، فقال : ” أيها الناس ، ألكم نسب وليس لي نسب ؟ ” . فوثب عمر بن الخطاب فقال : أغضب الله من أغضبك ، فقال : ” هذه بنت عمي ، فلا يقل لها أحد إلا خيرا ” . رواه الطبراني . وابن أبي حسين هو : عبد الله بن عبد الرحمن بن أبي حسين ، وهو مرسل ، ورجاله رجال الصحيح .
Narrated by Ibn Abi al-Husayn:
Durrah, daughter of Abu Lahab, was married to al-Harith ibn Abd Allah ibn Nawfal. She bore him three sons: Uqba, al-Walid, and Abu Muslim. Then she came to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) in Medina. The people talked a lot about her parents. She came to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and said, “O Prophet of Allah, am I the only daughter of disbelievers?
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) asked her, “What is that?”
She said, “The people of Medina have hurt me about my parents.”
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said to her, “When you pray the afternoon prayer, pray at the place where I can see you as well”
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) prayed the afternoon prayer, then he turned to her and faced the people and said, “O people, do you have lineage and I do not?’
Umar ibn al-Khattab stood up and said, “May Allah be angry with whoever makes you angry.” The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “This is my cousin. No one should say anything to her except good.”
This hadith is narrated by al-Tabarani. The chain of narration includes Ibn Abi al-Husayn, who is Abdullah ibn Abd al-Rahman ibn Abi al-Husayn. He is a mursal, the narrators are the narrators of Saheeh.
مجمع الزوائد – الهيثمي – ج ٩ – الصفحة ٢٥٨
The second hadith is also mentioned in Arbaeen Fadaail Sahabiyaat no. 36 , the book is authored by Abu Hamza Abdul Khaliq and Shaykh Abdullah Nasir Rehmani wrote a beautiful introduction on it.
P.s Did you know children of the cursed Abu Lahab accepted Islam.
Abu Lahab had sons Utba, Utaiba, Mutab.
Abu Lahab had daughters Durrah, Khalidah, Izzah.
All of them accepted Islam after Fatah Makkah apart from Utaibah. Islamweb.
114. When a woman disputed with her husband about her child.
Abu bakr siddique radhiAllahanho said about a woman:
هي أعطف وألطف وأرحم وأحن وأرأف، وهي أحق بولدها ما لم تتزوج
She is more compassionate, more merciful, more loving, more kind, and more deserving of her child as long as she does not remarry.
[Talkhees al Habeer 4/11]Abdullah bin Amr bin al Aas narrated:
أَنَّ امْرَأَةً، قَالَتْ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ إِنَّ ابْنِي هَذَا كَانَ بَطْنِي لَهُ وِعَاءً وَثَدْيِي لَهُ سِقَاءً وَحِجْرِي لَهُ حِوَاءً وَإِنَّ أَبَاهُ طَلَّقَنِي وَأَرَادَ أَنْ يَنْتَزِعَهُ مِنِّي فَقَالَ لَهَا رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم “ أَنْتِ أَحَقُّ بِهِ مَا لَمْ تَنْكِحِي ”
A woman said: Messenger of Allah, my womb is a vessel to this son of mine, my breasts, a water-skin for him, and my lap a guard for him, yet his father has divorced me, and wants to take him away from me. The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: You have more right to him as long as you do not marry.
Sunan Abu Dawud 2276
115. A husband should be easy going with his wife.
Jabir said:
وَكَانَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم رَجُلاً سَهْلاً إِذَا هَوِيَتِ الشَّىْءَ تَابَعَهَا عَلَيْهِ
The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) was a person of gentle disposition, so when she (A’Isha) wished for a thing, he accepted it.
Sahih Muslim no. 2793
Al Nawawi explains:
وقوله سهلا اي سهل الخلق كريم الشمائل لطيفا ميسرا في الخلق كما قال الله تعالى عنه لعلى خلق عظيم وفيه حسن معاشر الأزواج قال الله تعالى بالمعروف لا سيما فيما كان من باب الطاعة والله أعلم
Meaning that he (peace be upon him) was easy to deal with, had noble character, and was gentle and accommodating in his disposition, as Allah تعالى said about him, “Surely you have a sublime character”
And this hadith point towards having good conduct with the wives, as Allah تعالى said, “And live with them honourably.”
Especially in matters of obedience. And Allah knows best.
Sharh Sahih Muslim, vol. 8 pg. 160.